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Posted

I am probably not the best person to get along with-living a life where I am happier now that she has moved out while the divorce gets finalized. She says that I hit her 15x during our marriage-I can only remember two times. One thing that I probably should have done was divorce her last year when I found her having an affair with an Air Force airman. I thought that we would be able to work things out-but it always lingered in my mind that she was still talking to him. I know, from what she has said, that he has been in contact with her-thus far after he "pulled away from cyberspace."

She has had online affairs with several different men during our marriage. I wish that I had not married her now that I think of it. She said that she had been molested/raped for several years (16) while growing up. Looking back on it-I find it interesting that she was "cherry" when we first made love. I keep thinking to some of the things that she had done-wishing that I had picked up on some of the stuff that she was doing & thus ending the relationship back then.

The first time that I caught her cheating, I took my wedding ring off & left the house. She said it was "all RP-nothing real..." but I know now that it was a lie...

I don't know if I will find love again-or if I can find love again...

Posted

Hi,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for posting your questions on here. I am sorry to read that your marriage didn't work out the way it you wanted and hoped for. I am sure that you are very hurt in all that happened.

 

It looks like that you have made up your mind leaving here and that you want to have this divorce finalized. I can tell you that time will heal your wounds. Just accept your pain as part of the healing process your in now. In the meantime, I hope you don't mind me suggesting, that it might be a good idea to seek professional help for you hitting her. I am sure that when you did that you were very frustrated, but hitting someone is really something you should not do. You will benefit from counseling or other help regarding that in a new relationship. It doesn't really matter whether you hit her two times (like you say) or 15 times (like she says). In my opinion the first time was damaging enough to both of you.

 

I wish you good luck in your healing process. I believe that there's someone out there for everyone. I hope that someone will come accross your path some time soon.

 

~ SwingFox ~

Posted

I also agree, hitting will not make her respect you or love you any more. and will only do harm to both of you.

 

you both seem very unhappy in this relationship, just finalize the divorce, just forget about her, you will find someone better out there,

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