Your take on approaching women anywhere...

[matius]

I see a girl almost every day when I'm running... she's walking. I want to stop & say what's up but people around me give me the idea that it's creepy to do so. That it's creepy to approach women in a grocery store, or well, just about anywhere except for a bar.

 

This I find quite frustrating because how else do you meet someone you're attracted to?

 

I have no problem walking up & talking out of the blue but I'd be lying if I said that these peoples comments didn't erode my confidence level. Ya know, maybe it is creepy I think... because I'm not exactly getting warm smiles left & right...

 

It's pretty tough out there I find. So, do you believe these rules exist or that there has to be a sign first (back to this girl who I see on my run).

[Fionnuala]

Personally, it makes me a little uncomfortable when a guy just randomly approaches me. I prefer to start relationships with people through more "natural" means. Like meeting through mutual friends, work, mutual interests, etc. I've always felt that a guy who will approach me on the street just cause he thinks I'm hot is not the kind of guy I want to be with. I have kind of a complex about it because of stuff that happened to me when I was a teenager, so I don't know if everyone feels this way.

[gidget1]

I think it's completely fine, I talk to a lot of people on the street, in supermarkets, etc. I always find friendly people wanting to talk about something, it's pretty normal where I am, and I often get approached and enjoy meeting strangers/etc. Besides it's easy to tell a nice guy who's just on his morning jog from the creep who sits outside the supermarket asking for change who stares at women funny!

[paintedblue]

I say,why not? Even when its not in that way I find talking to strangers fun and interesting. Were all strangers at first.

[matius]

Gidget, in America I think the paranoia runs a little deeper, but that's a different story.

 

Interesting, a mixed bag. I suppose that's true to life in that some will find me coming up out of the blue a turn off... and some might just go for it.

 

Right now though the only thing I can think is that if I don't ... I'd never have the chance anywhere else so better to err on the side of trying.

 

I also have this gut feeling that the people who tell me it's not a good idea are the type of people who try and hold others down. The types that can't understand how you continue to succeed and they're in the same spot.

[HerDestiny]

Okay, I have a great example from earlier today about this very subject. I'm at inspection (blah!) and there's a bunch of people standing next to me like we're at a depressing bus stop or something. Nobody is talking to each other. I decide to walk outside the building and realize there's a guy about my age sitting right outside eating a sandwich. I feel awkward at first and he noticed. So, he gets this bright smile on his face and starts casually talking to me. He had a great sense of humor, too. My fiance was accross the street at the store at the time. I have to say, if I were single, I probably would've at least exchanged e-mails with this guy or something.

 

It felt great to finally see a friendly face among all the depressed looking zombie people in line in the building. Out of all those people, no one really noticed I was alive and from the looks of them, I'm not sure they were all that alive either so I suppose I didn't want to strike up any conversations with them.

 

This guy today was funny, friendly and made a move. If I wasn't engaged, he would've had my e-mail address today!

[Fionnuala]

 

Right now though the only thing I can think is that if I don't ... I'd never have the chance anywhere else so better to err on the side of trying.

 

 

Honestly, even though I personally wouldn't respond well, I also think you may as well give it a shot. You don't really have anything to lose, so why not? May as well try it and see what happens. Even if she thinks you're creepy, it won't really make a difference in your everyday life, as long as you can handle the rejection.

[ghost69]

socially inept people seem to have a problem with it. if they are attracted to you they might think it's weird. i try. opportunity can 'walk away' at any moment.

[riley123]

It's fine...as long as you don't startle her...don't come up from behind her and tap her on the shoulder! LOL.

 

I think it would be nice if you stopped and introduced yourself. Say something about seeing her every time you run and wanted to know her name so you can say hello since you pass each other every day. And then just go from there.

[Tarkan]

Genuine and simple stuff works the best for me. To be honest, I've always found it easier to talk to random people on the street and I don't understand how they can do it in clubs or bars. I'm actually pretty bad when it comes to talking to someone at a bar or club

 

But in the street ( or grossery shop, anywhere that is not a bar ) ... there's so much going on, so much things you can pick on that it's actually the best place to look for people ! Never understood why most people find it hard there ? Actually, you have LESS pressure on you there !

 

All you have to do, is to wait for an opportunity where you can say something cocky, funny or Witty. Hell, even asking a good question can lead you to anywhere. Maybe even advice ? ( in a store ) Something unexpected ? There's no rule for it, as long as you dont place that person in an ackward or uncomfortable position. ( example: "The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name" but ment seriously lol )

 

Just be natural, simple or random. People don't expect you to talk to them. Use it as an advantage ! In the street, people don't have the mindset that they have when coming to a bar. You actually have the chance to stand out the crowd !

 

And unless a bar where you go often, you probably won't meet those people again if you fail ^_^

[tylercdurden2004]

Depends on your approach. But in reality theres no hard an fast rules. This question has been asked here several times since I have been on here and you get many women saying "no way". My guess is they wouldnt say no if Mr. Right approached them while they were buying milk.

 

you can meet anyone anwhere. its part of life meeting people and there is no rules. I talk to people everywhere. My GF thinks its hilarious. Some people have a knack others dont.

 

personnally I would ignore anyone who says dont do it as a carte blanche rule. They're talking BS.

[MD Geist]

Its a gamble. I think of it like space travel where you can pick any planet you want, you don't know what you'd be getting yourself into.

[Fionnuala]

socially inept people seem to have a problem with it.

 

Wow. That's judgmental. Not enjoying it when random guys approach you does not make one socially inept.

[matius]

It's fine...as long as you don't startle her...don't come up from behind her and tap her on the shoulder! LOL.

 

Well when I see her I'll start to sprint at top speed and then stop on a dime two inches before her nose and yell WHAT UP Yo! Ha, I hear ya though, good advice...

 

Its a gamble. I think of it like space travel where you can pick any planet you want, you don't know what you'd be getting yourself into.

So true. Brilliant in fact.

 

My guess is they wouldnt say no if Mr. Right approached them while they were buying milk.

Right, I agree ... of course we all know the odds on that one.

[Fionnuala]

Well when I see her I'll start to sprint at top speed and then stop on a dime two inches before her nose and yell WHAT UP Yo! Ha,

 

Haha. Oddly, I might respond well to that...kind of funny.

 

Okay, maybe I should stop giving my opinion, cause obviously I'm just a freak...

[tylercdurden2004]

 

 

Right, I agree ... of course we all know the odds on that one.

 

Actually I dont. What are these odds?

[Imprecision]

I've picked up women on the streets who were walking in a direction away from me.

 

I run up to them and yell, "Wait!" Then, I just do what I usually do, like, "I was just minding my own business, reading a book over there. Anyway, I felt compelled to talk with you - to tell you personally - You look really cute."

 

I find that street/walking sets are often better even than sitting sets because they're more often alone, and because there are fewer people around you (or even if you're in a crowded place, the other people are just passing by and not listening in.)

 

Plus, it makes for a stronger impression.

 

What I love best is just yelling "Wait!" or "Hey!" really loudly. There's nothing like it. You guys should all try it. Just stop a girl in her tracks and then hit on her.

[dr_styles]

Today's world there's that big deal with women being careful or rapists, creeps, and what not. And in today's world even a bit of "mud" sticks hard.

 

That it's creepy to approach women in a grocery store, or well, just about anywhere except for a bar.

...

I have no problem walking up & talking out of the blue but I'd be lying if I said that these peoples comments didn't erode my confidence level. Ya know, maybe it is creepy I think... because I'm not exactly getting warm smiles left & right...

 

This is what I see now too. Guys or girls, whether it's an attractive girl or not, they don't even look like they want to talked to.

[matius]

Actually I dont. What are these odds?

 

I just meant the chances of some girl thinking you're Mr. Right in the pickle section of a grocery store is probably pretty slim.

[tylercdurden2004]

I just meant the chances of some girl thinking you're Mr. Right in the pickle section of a grocery store is probably pretty slim.

 

Well maye your getting ahead of yourself thinking that women:

 

A) need to think you are Mister Right to get a date with them.

 

B)thinking that women need to think or know someone is Mr. Right before they even have had a chance to meet them.

 

Its been my experience that most women arent that particular in that they have to know someone before they meet them. Sounds obvious doesnt it. Maybe give women the benefit of the doubt and realize that most are pretty decent people who have lives to live just like you.

 

Also there is no crime that I am aware of in at least western socities where it is against the law to talk to someone in public. If a woman has an issue with someone talking to her in public you have to see it for just that: her issue.