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Today, I even thought about just leaving school altogether, but that means I have to give up everything that i have worked for. I am just so angry with myself for not having the presence of mind to tough through this. I begin to doubt myself to make this whole journey to medical school and beyond. I spend three years of my life tolerating the daily drudgery of a call center job to able to complete my degree, and perhaps become a physician to help other people; but, I can not even help myself at all. If that really is the case, then I don't really know why I am in Pullman.

The truth is that our relationship never feel right from the start. My ex has a reputation for being cold and distant, yet she was uncannily accepting and open even when she barely knew me. Just after sometime, she agreed to be my girlfriend without much of a thought (not used to good luck >"

I started to sense that she was deceiving herself. She began to talk about spend whole lives together, even when it was apparant we didnt even know much about each other at all. There was a distinct disparity between what she says and what she really wants. Still, everything else was good. I really had fun and felt really happy, even though there was always this nagging feeling that something was amiss.

After 2 months, she asked to break up. I knew she has some unresolved issues (I can never find out about them from her) and tried to help her. It just started to dawn on me that this relationship was unhealthy for me and I deserve find a geninue girl for myself.

It is really hard for me to walk away from this. But u know the process of writing this letter is carthartic.

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Hey there,

 

Your story sounds similar to mine. In fact, I am also a medical student and know that with this degree come a lot of hidden stresses that people often don't realise - it's a lifestyle as much as a career.

 

My relationship ended a lot more explosively though, I think largely due to the incredibly strain of long distance, the issues that we did have could often transform our relationship so that it was based on resentment as much as love.

 

But your girlfriend had a similar dating past to mine and my girlfriend would talk like me about spending our lives together and being soulmates but her actions wouldn't show it in many ways.

 

I am just going on my experiences but I think our girlfriend really did believe what they were saying, I think they wanted to stick with us as much as we did with them, but I don't think they realised what their part to play was in that journey. My girlfriend was content just receiving my love and affection and I would rarely get any kind of special treatment or effort from her. Maybe your girlfriend was similar in that she didn't realise the emotional commitment she would have to make for your relationship to last.

 

If she didn't talk to you about what was wrong then she must have lacked the confidence and dedication to sort them out with you, but you're the one standing here, reflecting maturely, wishing things had been different - you were ready, she was not.

 

I was ready for my girlfriend, she was not. I know she meant well and I'm sure yours did too, but without the self-awareness that comes with true commitment and maturity all the good intentions in the world are not enough.

 

One of the benefits of being a medical student is at least you know your financial future is secure and you can do great, noble things in your career - it can take you all over the world, meet all different kinds of people, do incredible things for people in need - plus one of the perks of being a doctor is it's not too hard to get dates!

 

Hope that helps.

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My girlfriend was content just receiving my love and affection and I would rarely get any kind of special treatment or effort from her. Maybe your girlfriend was similar in that she didn't realise the emotional commitment she would have to make for your relationship to last.

 

That is what happened to me and my last relationship, too many people thinks love and passion and romance should just flow, while in reality, they do need effort. Although my story would be a bit different since he never fell for me in the first place, just like me alot to date me for 7 months..

 

live and learn, you will find peace.

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I'm glad writing was cathartic for you, and I hope you'll continue to use this thread if it will help you sort your thoughts. The idea of giving up your career over a 2 month relationship might seem like a temporary relief, but what would it relieve, exactly? It won't get the girl back, it would only derail your future--and to what purpose?

 

I realize that now is a time when you least feel like focusing and throwing yourself into a challenge, but it's the healthiest thing to do--for your own head, as well as your career.

 

You saw early signs of this going south, and so you know it wasn't a reflection on you. Don't let someone else's problems ruin your life. You have not met the love of your life yet, and when you do, she's not going to be interested in someone that easily destroyed.

 

In your corner.

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Well, what you've probably already found is that most everyone has had a similar experience. What makes yours different is how you choose to deal with it. I was dumped in the middle of the quarter with a test the next day (I'm a UW student by the way It was tough as hell, but I worked through it.

Some days I would go to the library and just sit. I'd go in with the intention of researching, but rarely would get things done. After a while, the more I showed up, the more I accomplished.

 

The point is, when you push though a challenge such as this you become tougher and stronger. I'll tell you, if you were able to push though pre-med with a broken heart, you would be a more competitive applicant in the end. Challenges only make us stronger, and there's no giving up on life. Take these new problems and solve them. I'm sure it will make you a better person in any of your pursuits.

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