getting_on_ok Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 My girlfriend dumped me, so I agreed with her and went no contact right off the bat. Its been 2 months and I've been hearing that she loves me and misses me and she was asking if she should call me. I've been trying to live my life, but every time I hear this I get my hopes up and I want her to call me so bad. She basically told me when she broke up with me to call her when I am fixed. Because she said I was too jealous. However, she was basically emotionally cheating on me and that was triggering my jealously. She keeps on telling this guy that she really loves me and the only thing that is stopping her from moving to this other state is me. Why wouldn't she reach out? I dont get it. I am not going to contact her, I think its her deal if she wants to get back with me. She broke up with me. I am not going to beg her. Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Who is giving you this information? I'd tell them to stop telling you this. Link to comment
getting_on_ok Posted August 24, 2009 Author Share Posted August 24, 2009 The guy that is friends with her is telling my friend. And my friend keeps telling me. Link to comment
livelife2009 Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Hmm. I think you're doing the right thing by not calling HER. If I can say anything, I think you should move on. If she ends up contacting you, deal with it then, but until then, just keep living life and try not to dwell. Lavendar is right, tell who ever is telling you all this to stop, i don't know about you, but based on my life experiences, 3rd party information is just not reliable and you never know the motivations behind them. Sometimes we know the answers that lie deep inside, we just don't want to say them out loud or acknowledge them, just listen to your self and your gut. if it says keep walking, keep walking and enter the next chapter of your life... Link to comment
OreEle Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 if you want to try to find out more without breaking the "no contact" you need to talk out middle people. Either try to speak directly with her friend or have your friend talk directly with her. Ever play the game 'telephone'? The more people that rely a message, the more messed up it gets. Link to comment
getting_on_ok Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 Yea, its coming basically from the source. But I would think if she wanted me bad enough then she would contact me. I am I right or am I wrong? Link to comment
Softcentered Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 you're right. unless something huge was said which literally translated to " if you call me again i will despise you for the rest of my life".. then yes.. if she wanted you that much then she would call you herself at least. if she dumped you its her loss and her effort which is required. dont let her have this much power over you. tell ur friend to shut up lol and get on with ur life. like the person above says.. if she does call.. deal with it then. stop letting her 'whispers' waste your time. get out there and enjoy your life. if she wants you that much, she should get off her ass and come find you. Peace dude Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Unless you hear it directly from her, it means nothing. If she really wants you back, nothing will stop her, and she'll make that clear, by her own words and actions. Link to comment
OreEle Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 well, that is not entirely true. She may want you back, but is too proud to admit it, much like you say you want her back, but don't want to make the first move. It is hard to tell without knowing the person what is really going on. If you want her, you can take the risk and take the leap by going after her, or you can hope that she does. Link to comment
loulee Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Pride and fear of rejection are 2 big reasons she is not reaching out... Link to comment
OreEle Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 Pride and fear of rejection are 2 big reasons she is not reaching out... or, maybe she isn't really interested and you're just getting a mixed message. but you'll never find out if one of you doesn't take the chance, and it isn't fair to say "she has to" just like it isn't fair for her to say "you have to" since that just results in stubbornness which is not good for relationships. If YOU want her, YOU go get her! Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I think that if she is letting her PRIDE get in the way then this could be a BIG lesson in humility. I think that if people are too proud to admit that they made a mistake and might lose the person that they want to be with, then it wasn't meant to be. Don't listen to these "friends." I've been back and forth enough with my ex to know that everyone on the outside wants a piece of the drama. Sometimes they'll even start saying you said things that you weren't even THINKING. It's ridiculous and the best way to make it stop is to put these friends in their place and remove yourself from the circle. It's SO high school, really. Link to comment
livelife2009 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 yeah but It's not up to HIM to give her what she wants, if it really is that important to her, she should take matters into her own hands and take actions based on her feelings even if that means shes scared or fears rejection, it's her problem to deal with. That is what is called an obstacle in life, something we ALL have and have to overcome. just cuz she might fear his rejection HE should call her... I don't think so. however, IT IS up to you to give YOURSELF what you want, and MAKE yourself happy. If moving on to the next chapter is going to do that, do it. If you taking the leap and contacting her again is going to do it , do it. don't live your life based on what others want, live it based on what you want for yourself. Link to comment
getting_on_ok Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 The problem is, every time I'm out the middle person doesn't talk to me about that stuff. Link to comment
getting_on_ok Posted August 25, 2009 Author Share Posted August 25, 2009 The problem is, every time I'm out the middle person doesn't talk to me about that stuff. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I've been hearing that she loves me and misses me and she was asking if she should call me. I'd press for unequivocal verification, something to the effect of "Are you positively certain that's what she said? Not something kinda-sorta-maybe like that, but exactly that? To your best recollection, what were her exact friggin' words? This is important!" If you can get confirmation to that level, then maybe you should take your chances. Not everyone's good about coming back, even when they want to. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I've been hearing that she loves me and misses me and she was asking if she should call me. I'd press for unequivocal verification, something to the effect of "Are you positively certain that's what she said? Not something kinda-sorta-maybe like that, but exactly that? To your best recollection, what were her exact friggin' words? This is important!" If you can get confirmation to that level, then maybe you should take your chances. Not everyone's good about coming back, even when they want to. Link to comment
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