Really confused by x's behavior

[sandy cheeks]

For those of you who have followed my threads, you know that I’m in the process of divorcing a controlling, cheating, manipulative man. You also know that it has been less than pleasant and that I was just awarded custody of our 8 year old child.

 

As I have said in other posts, my stbx has acted like a jerk. He has told out right lies and accused me of all sorts of improprieties. He has done spiteful, mean things to hurt me, including taking my son and refusing to tell me where he was.

 

Given all that, I think it's understandable that I am totally blown away by his behavior lately. About 4 days after the custody hearing he did a 180 and started e-mailing me about how he hopes to see me so he can say "hi". Bear in mind he has hardly been able to say three words to me since the separation. He then goes on to say he hopes we can be friends, and he wants to get together and talk. He sends me text and e-mails saying how he can't wait to see me, how he's looking forward to talking to me. Then this morning when I go to pick up my son, he asks me to wait a minute, shuts the door to the house, pins me against it and tries to kiss me!!

 

I push him off and ask what the hell he thinks he's doing. He says he just wants to be "friends". I say that friends don't kiss. I also point out that he has a girlfriend. (The same one he was cheating on me with) and his response is "so?" OMG! What a dirt bag.

 

I don't get it. What would make a guy act like this? To be so hurtful and mean one day, and so........... affectionate the next? I don't even know if I would call it affectionate??? Why would he think we could ever be friends, or intimate, again given how bad he has treated me? We're getting divorced for Christ sake!! Isn't that proof its over? Isn't that proof that I don't want to have anything to do with him?

[metwo]

he could have been cheating on you with someone thought it may have gone somewhere then they broke up..

[sandy cheeks]

he could have been cheating on you with someone thought it may have gone somewhere then they broke up..

 

they just went on vaccation together. I have no reason to think they split up...

 

and if they did, why would he say "so" when I commented about him having a girlfriend, and not just tell me they broke up?

 

I'm sorry, but I don't think that can explain it...

[metwo]

maybe he just wants to continue controlling you in some way

[Dancergirl425]

maybe he wasn't getting laid by his new gf or missed the intimacy you guys once shared and he was hoping you two would have sex. Some guys are just a holes and just go with the moment..wherever their takes them and there's no real explanation except they don't care about other's feelings

[pumpkinmoon]

My guess would be that he just doesn't care. He treats people however he wants and tries to take what he wants from them when he wants. He sounds disgusting.

[arcadefire]

What a piece of sh--. Anyone who cheats, lies, and tries to manipulate you with deceit deserves NO contact or attention.

 

Tell that sleaze bag that next time he tries to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell him strictly that things are over between you two and the next time he does that you are taking legal action against it.

 

He feels that he is losing his "power" over you, especially after you gained custody of your child. He wants to somehow regain that back, but the only way he could is to continue contacting you and annoying you, like a bully, and trying to manipulate you so you can cave in until the next time he can hurt you. Don't let him have his power back.

[lostandhurt]

He is trying to use you somehow. Stay clear of him until he levels off a little.

 

Lost