My sister put me in my place

[mikelopez]

I feel depressed after what took place today. Well let me start from the beginning, a quick summary. I am 21, I have been living with my two older sisters who are electrical engineer graduates, my older sisters’ husband who works and goes to school part time and their two 3 year old kids and my parents. I been in college for 3 years, studying the same thing but I have had many set backs. I procrastinated a lot which lead to poor grades, developed a marijuana problem which I honestly decided to quit about two days ago, stole money from my mother to continue my habit (they know), and lied a lot growing up to my family, lets just say I been a selfish knuckle head. I had the “talk” about getting my act together too many times that I even lost count. I been messing up since age 13 and it has been the same cycle ever since; I do great for a minute and then give up. Anyways I am in the process, again, where I decide to get my stuff straight, come home, study, and take care of business; acting like everything is good and perfect…. So I decided to ask my oldest sister a question (basically our mother figure who we all depend on). I asked her if for next quarter to ease into school, if I should repeat some classes that are not too difficult and then she goes off on me, but in a nice tone with harsh words to my ears saying, “Your just wasting our time, my time. I helped you so many hours with your homework and you just give up without even trying. I could have spent all those hours with my kids playing with them instead of wasting my time with you, you give up so easy. I wouldn’t have mind if you failed if I saw working hard, but you just gave up which tells me that you don’t care. You don’t come home you get my mother all worried which you know gets her sick.” Basically she is disappointed of me to the MAX and it hurts a lot honestly. I made many bad decisions and there is really nothing I can say because I said it all before. I feel like crying but I don’t know. I know I been a burden to this family but when everything is good I know I am the life of the family, I bring everyone together when I am around. I have so much potential and I really want to show my family that I am going to change. I regret my selfish ways, and ignorant actions. I do care about my family and I promise honestly to my self that as of today on my mothers b-day that I wont mess up anymore, no more relapse, no more ignorant friends, parties. Just work, studying, working out, casual evenings when the time is right, and family time.

[waveseer]

One day at a time. It took a while to wreck your credibility and it's going to take a while to earn it back.

[mikelopez]

One day at a time. It took a while to wreck your credibility and it's going to take a while to earn it back.

 

that's true it just hurts.

[Capricorn3]

I agree with waveseer (again, lol).

 

The only way to earn their respect is to show them by your actions, that you ARE changing and doing your best to improve in all areas. It's your actions which will count now where you can prove to them you have changed.

[InBruges]

Once you become a person known for these negative qualities, every word you say becomes like a harsh sound in other people's ears. The best (and only) thing to do is keep your words few from now on and let your actions back-up the changes you're making. It will take time.

[pinkelephant]

it usually takes something harsh to get you off your butt. remember this everytime you feel like slipping.

[rikka]

Like others have said, you have essentially lost credibility with your family. They have heard the same story time and time again, and each time you let them down. They may not believe your words right now so show them you have changed. Stick to your word and turn your life around. In time your family will come to see that you have changed and they will see the person you are becomming.

 

Good luck.

[mikelopez]

it usually takes something harsh to get you off your butt. remember this everytime you feel like slipping.

 

It's true usually i wake up thinking where should i go blaze it or do instead of going to school; but today I remembered the talk and just thought "f. that i got hw to catch up on even though I am failing."