I care about the superficial...

[misstycal]

So,

 

The guy i'm newly dating is skinnier than me, I find that I get self conscious about it in public because i'm insecure about my own weight.

 

I'm a little uncomfortable with the fact i feel i could squish him. Okay, i'm not obese, but still he's like 5'9" and like 120lbs. And I'm 5'6" and a weeee bit more curvaceous.

 

I feel like i won't ever feel comfortable eating out with him, especially if i ever end up eating more. There was a thread about this... And yes, now that i'm in this position, I'm a little insecure about it.

 

 

How do I suck it up and not care, he's nicest guy and super cute, and for reasons i haven't fully understood, he thinks the world of me.

 

GIRLS have you dated skinnier men? Has it made you uncomfortable at times?

[hers]

My last boyfriend was skinny, like boyishly so. I don't particularly get too attracted to thin men b/c I'm thicker myself and like em thick too. But with him it wasn't that I felt insecure (b/c I don't mind my weight) but that he looked childlike to me b/c he was 30 years old, 5'9" and about 150 lbs (I'm 5'0" and 160 lbs). I couldn't get comfortable with that.

 

Don't punish this guy though for your insecurity. He's no responsible for it. If he likes you, he likes you. That should be enough. We often don't see ourselves the way others see us b/c we're with ourselves constantly, so he may not see your weight as an issue at all. Take a cue from him.

[misstycal]

Yeah! Its the same sitch... Sigh, I just have to remind myself that ultimately he doesn't care.

[Alezia]

Although I've dated more muscular guys (so heavier than I am) my current fiancé and my last ex were very tall but didn't weigh that much. They averaged around a BMI of 20 if that gives you an idea.

 

I'm also 5'6" and got a bit more padding than I should.

The way I see it is that they are not in the wrong and shouldn't be at fault because they eat less or are skinnier.

I had some trouble with this at first too, and also around the very light "bird-eaters" but I realized that I was making my own choices. I'm allowed to put whatever I want on my plate and so are they.

 

You just need to stop comparing yourself to others. If you are truley unhappy about how you look then you need to make the changes.

[misstycal]

Although I've dated more muscular guys (so heavier than I am) my current fiancé and my last ex were very tall but didn't weigh that much. They averaged around a BMI of 20 if that gives you an idea.

 

I'm also 5'6" and got a bit more padding than I should.

The way I see it is that they are not in the wrong and shouldn't be at fault because they eat less or are skinnier.

I had some trouble with this at first too, and also around the very light "bird-eaters" but I realized that I was making my own choices. I'm allowed to put whatever I want on my plate and so are they.

 

You just need to stop comparing yourself to others. If you are truley unhappy about how you look then you need to make the changes.

 

Oh yeah, I don't care about how he eats, i care how it looks when I eat, this is entirely about my own insecurities.

 

I work out a lot and have a trainer, i am at the gym avg, 3 or 4 days a week plus i am pretty active on my bike. I have some padding, but i'm also muscular. I'm just not the typical fem... I should watch how i eat, but I want that to be about me choosing to be healthier than choosing out of fear of what people might think.

[misstycal]

I am 5'6 130 so not a big guy by any means I have dated and was married to a woman my height that hate more then I did weigth more then i did and i loved her to bits until she chose to fall out of love.

 

5'9 120 i woud grant you the boys need to eat a little but i am sure that ain't how he looks at you and even if he was, you sould support each other in this little dilema no?

 

Haha, i might have exaggerated the 120lbs, but he's skinny. He's definitely loving and supportive and hasn't made any mention of any issue and doesn't seem to care or notice...

 

Thanks for your input, its appreciated to know if he doesn't seem like he cares, he probably doesn't!

[Huzzah_89]

Im 6'6 , 183 pounds so not really heavy for my height.

 

Although when it comes to women im attracted to the superficial too. I have a big preference for blondes (I dont know why it's just so appealing) and curvy bodies.

[hers]

Im 6'6 , 183 pounds so not really heavy for my height.

 

Although when it comes to women im attracted to the superficial too. I have a big preference for blondes (I dont know why it's just so appealing) and curvy bodies.

 

hooray! someone who'd like me!

[Capricorn3]

Don't punish this guy though for your insecurity. He's no responsible for it. If he likes you, he likes you. That should be enough. We often don't see ourselves the way others see us b/c we're with ourselves constantly, so he may not see your weight as an issue at all. Take a cue from him.

I totally agree!! These words should be framed and stuck on your fridge, lol.

[Lamour detruit]

So,

 

The guy i'm newly dating is skinnier than me, I find that I get self conscious about it in public because i'm insecure about my own weight.

 

I'm a little uncomfortable with the fact i feel i could squish him. Okay, i'm not obese, but still he's like 5'9" and like 120lbs. And I'm 5'6" and a weeee bit more curvaceous.

 

I feel like i won't ever feel comfortable eating out with him, especially if i ever end up eating more. There was a thread about this... And yes, now that i'm in this position, I'm a little insecure about it.

 

 

How do I suck it up and not care, he's nicest guy and super cute, and for reasons i haven't fully understood, he thinks the world of me.

 

GIRLS have you dated skinnier men? Has it made you uncomfortable at times?

 

My advice for you; is to just not worry about it, as hard as that may be sometimes. He is with you for a reason, and the fact that you have curves is something you should cherish, and clearly he does the same, considering he is dating you.

 

I am 5'7, and while I have broad shoulders, I am fairly skinny myself. My beautiful lady is 5'9, with nice curves, and I wouldn't have it any other way. When we go out to eat, I really don't care what she eats, and it is definitely not an issue. I reckon it is only a problem if you make it one.

[iLiveWithMyMom]

This is just MY opinion, and I'll be the first to admit I have a few issues, but I wouldn't be comfortable dating someone bigger than me. A couple inches taller? No problem. But heavier?

 

An ex actually asked me if I would feel emasculated dating a woman that was heavier than me, and I said yes without hesitation. The fact your bf is comfortable though shows he's a much more mature and confident individual than me.

[Huzzah_89]

hooray! someone who'd like me!

 

 

 

You free tonight aye?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I remember back when I liked my first bf (before we started dating) but didn't want to date him because I was heavier than him (I was 125, lol).

 

Then, I ended up losing 10 pounds over christmas break due to the flu and being depressed about my sister being hospitalized.

 

And then we started dating after I got over feeling larger than him.

 

What I learned was....I was completely fine when single with my weight. And, if you put yourself down when in a relationship with someone, yet don't when you are single...then there is probably something wrong with the relationship.

 

If you are single and still feel down, then you should do something about it.

[iLiveWithMyMom]

I think this feeling you and the OP had are actually normal. Most women want to feel like women. lol. I think being with a guy bigger than you goes a long way in helping to feel more feminine.

[hers]

As a woman, I definitely feel more protected and feminine when a guy is bigger than I am. Not just taller, b/c everyone is taller than I am, but if he's skinny and scrawny, I feel like he can't do much to protect me, not to mention he looks like a little kid and that creeps me out.

[amtjrtcet]

sounds like he's the one who needs to gain a little weight here! lol How does he make you feel about yourself??

[NightLily]

Personally, I find it sort of odd when the guy is "curvier" than the woman. Just seems a little backwards to me.

 

If the issue is that you are not attracted to him because of HIS weight, then cut him loose. Also, you shouldn't feel like you have to lose weight just to be with somebody. If they try to manipulate you into it, then get out. If it is in your head, then either try to get over it or move on.