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If you ever have any doubts...


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In some respects I agree with you. Every single time my gut has told me there was smoke, there was also fire. Every single time. However, skip the cat phase and just play the numbers game. Keep many opportunities open and don't allow yourself to invest too much in one before your gut feels right.


Ironically, when you start doing this, you will find that you become more attractive with more social value emanating, and you will have fewer problems with lukewarm prospects.

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She ignored me all last night and I saw that she was on Facebook this morning so I sent her a quick message asking her what was going on.


Her response...


"Yeah sorry Im just not really looking for anything with anyone at the moment, im at uni and stuff and just kinda need to be on my own for a while. Total cliche but it really isnt you, I had alot of fun, thankyou and I still want to stay friends - i still really needx your guiding hand in my music taste lol x"


What a load of crap!


I am sooooo confused by her sudden change of heart. She was texting me all sorts of things to suggest she was into me and was often the one to initiate texts. We got on well and SHE kept hinting at future plans - not to mention she'd say things like she couldn't wait to see me and she'd always text me after dates to say she had fun.


I wasn't asking her to be exclusive or anything. I have no idea what's freaked her out. If that is even true. The whole "it's not you, it's me" and "I'm not wanting anything with anyone right now" is just a polite way of getting rid of someone. Fair enough. I am not going to grovel. I just wish I knew why the hell she made out she was into me only to tell completely run away in the opposite direction.


She invited me round her house (meant to be last night) when her parents were away on both Thursday and Friday. Then suddenly, yesterday she started ignoring me and when I called her just dismissed me. Something must've happened on Friday night and I have no idea what.


I told her that I didn't get where all this has come from but I wouldn't argue. I told her I'd have preferred her telling me face to face rather than ignoring me out of the blue. I can read between the lines. I also turned down her friendship and deleted her on Facebook. I know what "friendship" means. It means they still want you as an option and they still want your attention. That's it. Not going to waste my time on somebody that doesn't respect me enough to be honest.


I really don't get it. Why would someone lose interest so suddenly? Or if someone isn't interested to being with, why lie and pretend you are?


I could understand it if I was putting pressure on her by being too nice and needy. But I wasn't. Not once did I mention us becoming exclusive. We'd only been out on three dates! I don't see why she suddenly started freaking out.


Best to have this now though than in six months I guess right?

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This happened to me recently and Im still left wondering why. What did I say wrong? What did I do wrong that turned him off. I dunno. I think that they kept us on the back burner and ended up chosing the other person and dont have the balls to tell us. Just my opinion. Sorry to hear about your situation. She isnt worth your time - you will find someone better.

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I think that they kept us on the back burner and ended up chosing the other person and dont have the balls to tell us. Just my opinion.


I agree. That's why I didn't say yes to her wanting to stay friends.


I really do believe that she met someone/got with someone else on Friday night. It's got to be the only reason why she suddenly started ignoring me. I might have believed her reasoning if she gradually become more distant or had the decency to tell me in person but to invite me round to her house one day and then blow me out and be completely cold with me the next day makes no sense - unless she had another (better) offer and was stringing me along the whole time.


I can't get the text messages she sent me out of my head though. Sooooo confusing.

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My thought on it is that someone else came along. All the "I'm not looking for anything with anyone" and "it's not you" really means is that she is not interested in me. It's so confusing as to why she suddenly changed her mind and that's the hardest thing for me to deal with.


I can cope with the rejection. I just wish I knew the truth because the cliched reasons she gave me really don't tell the full story. Thursday night she was being very forward and then the next night - gone. That doesn't just happen without something happening. Or someone happening. It's eating away at me.


I told her that I can read between the lines, hinted that she led me on and politely told her I didn't want to be friends with her. I very much doubt she'll be too fussed. In fact, she'll probably be happier in the long run to be totally rid of me. The whole "let's be friends" thing is only ever said for their benefit to make themselves feel better for not having the guts to tell you the truth.


That said, she could be telling the truth (highly unlikely though). Surely she'd have been a bit stand off-ish and cool from the start. She was talking to me about things in the future, always contacting me and giving away huge clues that she was into me.


I don't think I'm going to ever ever trust anyone when even when they tell and show you they're interested, they might not be. Argh.

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.... walk away.


99.999999% of the time, your gut feeling is right.


Any sign of trouble, sack it off. Life's too short. Nobody is worth it. Find happiness. In yourself. Get a cat.


I'm getting a cat tomorrow. More reliable than any girl.


Laughing out loud!

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