financially supporting ex

[eonsunshine]

hi,

is it normal for ex husband to support his ex wife? I still support my ex living expenses and school tuition. I want to support her because I still very much love her, to show her that I still care (hoping she come back to me) and to make up for all the wrong that I've done in our 6 yrs marriage (10 yrs together). A month or two before we got divorced she's seeing other man and now they are together. She still demanding money (she can't support herself, me giving her money is her only source of income). Should I keep giving her money or is it the new boyfriend responsibility? Is she just using me?

[Sn0man]

Not your responsibility anymore, i'd stop.

[agent1607307371]

She's totally using you.

 

It's her responsibility, not yours, not the new sucker's.

[itsallgrand]

It's your call - but giving it to her won't make her love you. And not giving it to her, shouldn't be as a punishment.

 

If her give her any money, it's just a gift. Doesn't seem wise, but it is your money to do as you wish.

 

You owe her nothing (unless there is some payments you are required to provide blah blah blah legally).

[eonsunshine]

thanks for all your comments. Part of why I still support her because I'm feeling guilty (so I felt obligated to)

but it's true itsallgrand it won't make her love me

[itsallgrand]

You can be using that money for your new life.

 

You deserve that, too.

[Capricorn3]

She has no right to demand any money from you and you should stop giving it to her. Giving her money will NOT make her love you. She chose to be with another man. You two are now divorced. She has her own life to lead now and is responsible for herself now. You don't owe her anything, imo.

 

Stop supporting her. The more you give, the more she will expect.

[thistime]

I would say unless a legally binding agreement was signed stateing you owe her alimony, you owe her nothing! She is using you because she knows you still have feelings for her and want her back. It's unfair...if you have difficulty telling her you cant do it anymore, just envision the extra money she has to spend-because you are helping her finacially-is going towards fun and exciting weekends with the new guy, and probably some sexy lingerie he is enjoying on your ex...courtesy of your wallet!

[TheSmilingTurnip]

I would say that if you set the expectation that you're going to support her, then you need to give her some notice prior to cutting her off, if cutting her off is your intent.

 

If supporting her was intended as a manipulation to try and get her to get back with you, then your original motivation, while ostensibly kind, was actually wrong-headed. The reason for cutting it off now may also be wrong-headed...ie you're not getting what you want from this activity, it is no profit to you, so therefore you are cutting it off.

 

If you're going to end the support, make sure it's for the right reasons, not to punish or hurt. Also, if you will end it, give sufficient notice and be humane.

[ladyblue07]

If I were you, I would give her notice that now you are broken up that you will not be supporting her anymore. Now that you two are broken up, you don't owe her anything unless there was a legal divorce agreement saying you need to pay her alimony.