Would you be a bit annoyed at this? How can i stop 'waiting' ?

[alls]

Hi,

 

im somewhat annoyed, slightly, but possibly maybe just more disappointed. And the annoyed feeling is more because i waited.

 

I saw my bf last night, and as i was leaving, he said that after he finished his thing tomorrow night ( he had something on early evening) that maybe i can come over when its done, it might be a bit late etc etc. He said he'll text when its finished and see if i wanted to head over to his place when he got home.

 

So fast forward to this night. No text. nothing. Part of me, actually wasn't expecting to hear from him anyways. I still kept busy 'ish' and did a few things, but i still feel like i waited to hear from him. I always do this.

 

I go on to facebook later that evening, and he had replied to a few things on my wall, which indicates he is home (cant get it on mobile).

 

It would have been nice to see him, but i am seeing him tomorrow, so no big deal on that side, its more of the fact, there was nothing. i was left waiting for a text that never came.

 

i know this is more to do with me than him. i need to stop 'waiting' around for him. but i dont know how. we only see each other a few times a week anyways. so usually grab any chance i can. But now, im feeling that wheni see him tomorrow, and if i see him in the evening, i feel like cutting the evening short and not staying over, or something which seems childish. I feel like i drop everything to see him.

 

Would you be a little bit annoyed? Even a text saying that the thing he had went lnger than he thought or that he was tired and he'll see me tomorow...its always that not knowing, 'are we or arn't we'

[Xetra Dax]

The problem is that you need to get a life of your own. You need to bring back the power of your life back to where it belongs, namely in YOUR hands. If you give your life out towards others you just become (even unintentionaly) a emotional soccerball for them to play with. Patience is a virtue, but waiting for no good reason is just non-sense,life is too short to wait, so never wait in life.

[KATIE89]

Girl I know the feeling. You remind me alot of myself. the problem is we have to learn how to stop caring. Question is... how. We bend over backwards to show them we care and they only care when they want to.

[jessica911]

i know how u feel girl, i'm like that too. when my bf and i got back together, i always carry my cell phone with me, so i wont miss his call. he doesnt call or text me a lot, so of course i don't want to miss his call/text. im afraid that if he wants to go out to eat or something at that time and i didn't reply back or whatever then there goes our time.

 

sometimes when i have to do something and he asks to do somethign with him, then i have to cancle my stuff to be with him, or i take him with me, but that doesn't happen a lot, bc it ends up "ill see u next time then"

 

it sux to wait, but if u dont wait then u wont get to see the want u been waiting for. it makes so go crazy sometime just to wait for him, but when i get his call/text i feel so relax and happy.

[nina2009]

I completely understand annoyance. It has nothing to do with "go have life on your own". It has to do with a promise and reliability. I am responsible person and if i promise to call/text/e-mail I do. Even if I do not want to see the other person, i will text "hey, lost my mood for this evening, going to bed early. see you tomorrow". I appreciate when the same is done for me. Even if I am not interested in seeing another person, but this person told me "I'll text" and then doesn't text, I will be annoyed, because i would keep checking my phone.

 

In my younger years I remember I dumped so many potential bf's only because they were unable to call when they promised. I do not trust that type of people.

 

I would make a point about it, let him know that it is better not to plan anything and then text out of a blue, than plan on getting together and do not follow up.

 

Another option is do not say anything , but the next time "wait" until it is comfortable for you, let's say wait till 9 pm. At 9 pm, plan your evening yourself. To prevent him from ruining it by sudden desire to see you, text him yourself: "hey, decided to go to bed earlier. Have a restful night"

[oldenoughtoknow]

It sounds like the problem is coming from both of you. Your statements showed me that you can be a bit needy. That's something you should work on, as the other posters mentioned. The best course is to work on getting a life of your own.

 

He didn't extend a basic courtesy by making contact to tell you it was going to be a late evening and he wasn't coming. That's not good either. I would talk to him about it, and explain that you would appreciate some notice, as early as possible, so that you can plan the rest of your evening. Leaving you in the lurch is not kind or caring.

 

People have differing relationship styles and behaviors. Some of these things can be changed, but only if the person wants to change. If you explain this to him, give him a chance to try to fix the issue. If he doesn't make any progress, you need to decide if this is something you can live with or not. From the sounds of it, I'm thinking not...