She told me, now im wondering if there is more to it.

[Halkesh]

There is this girl i have been seeing off and on for the last 5 months, she is very private about her life and doesn't like to tell anyone how she feels, she tries to go to counseling but that aint helping much. We havnt officially been out with each other but casually seeing each other as she still has a slight phobia of being with a guy.

 

I can remember before Christmas she couldnt stand anyone touching her, including me even though she had a crush on me. I went away for christmas, she opened up to me a bit and told me she misses me a lot, her mother was shocked to hear us on the phone as she is never on the phone for more the 5 minutes but with me we was speaking for around half hour, maybe more.

 

Over the next few months she put a lot of effort into our *relationship* we would kiss and hug and spend some time alone together, but everytime we get close she would push me away. I tried telling her once but it didnt end so well so i put up with it.

 

Fast forward to recent events, i have started being friends with her older sister. Strictly friends, going out with them to BBQs, Pubs or just outings to places. I noticed she was growing more distant by the day but last night i tried getting her to tell me what is going on but she wouldn't nudge until i asked her if she is going to a friends Birthday party, but she said no, she aint friends with her sisters friends ( directed at me! ) so i asked her is that why we aint close any more. She confirmed and told me that she thinks im happier being with her sister then her, as we go out to pubs, take photos and that i talk to the sister more. We got through it, i reassured her its her who i want and im happier with. And that i don't talk to her very often which is true.

 

IM wondering if that is the only reason why she stopped talking to me. As she may be using that as an excuse to why she pushed me away.

 

Before anyone says, yes i know she has a lot of problems but im willing to deal with them as i have done so for the last 9-10 months. Both in a friend way and a romantic way.

 

And the reason she cant stand guys touching her or why she wont open up is because a month before i met her a guy tried to sexually harass her and it scared the living crap out of her since. Thankfully some one stopped it in time.

[carrots]

she sounds like a very confused and vulnerable person. maybe you just have to accept that she's not ready for a full on relationship. it's great that you're willing to work through any problems she has, and it seems to me that you've made a lot of effort and you feel it's not really getting you anywhere with her. i suppose all you can do is continue to be understanding and not push her too much to be close to you, as in the end this will only push her further away. maybe you need to wait for her to come to you, and let her know you're there for her when she's ready. it will take time, but hopefully she will eventually realise that she's missing out on what could be something really good. and i would advise to stop seeing her sister so much as this obviously makes her even more insecure.

[Halkesh]

I know she isnt interested in a relationship. I can deal with that, just being close to her is enough for me at this moment. I am always there for her and she knows this, she knows out of everyone, even her own family that i am the one she needs to come to with any personal problems.

 

I will wait as long as i need too. I aint interested in having a relationship with anyone else, i find it to time consuming and to much effort with a new person as with her i know her very well, she knows me and we have both gone through some dark times together and always worked it out. I feel alot more comfortable with her then with any other girl.

 

It will take her a while to recover, i know that and when she does i will be there waiting. She still expresses jealousy and anger like a normal girl, she didnt use to.