Q for the guys: what do you think of love handles?

[DaBladeRoden]

huh? this was to roden. he made it seem like he was sleeping around with a lot of women.

 

And I answered your question just below

[tiredofvampires]

I did see the movie, but it was a while ago, and I didn't make that connection somehow. Lol, alright. Yeah.

 

Whether Ghost is here in a helping capacity (and we all are to some extent -- no one gets to purely * * * * * here and nothing else) or you are here for other things, it's still all guys here get to weigh in on threads, because they are HERE on eNA. Just the way I see it, I guess. So to get back on topic, regardless of why people come here, they are here, and so you get a wide variety of opinions on something like love handles. It's not just desperate men who would give anything for something that walks upright, or guys who are so out-of-the-ordinary or out of shape, that they couldn't care less.

[ghost69]

i think i'm a bit more critical than the guys here tov. i think hero is saying that my standards are higher than most on ena. but that doesn't mean most guys wouldn't take a supermodel over a bigger girl with love handles. that's all i was saying about ena representing all guys out there apples to apples so to speak.

[ghost69]

And I answered your question just below

 

i know you did. was just letting worried know what was going on.

[DunwichChild]

True, to some extent. On the other hand, how do you know:

 

1. how people are managing them?

2. how many people just don't have the time or inclination to read and write about them?

3. how many people wouldn't come here if they knew it existed? (what a shameless plug for ena, lol

 

And, even the guys who feel they are "beggers" here have stated their physical turn-offs and been candid about what they don't find attractive.

 

You are right, I don't know what is going on people's head and people's lives, I'm just thinking that most people will have a certain hold on their lives, a hold that would make them OK, it doesn't have to be an extremely good grounding, but some is good. In this case I would expect the average guy to talk to a woman and not be very, very nervous, nor very, very lewd nor very, very awkward. But, of course any observation that I make is distorted by the prism of my experiences and of whatever is going on in my head, so I may be bias.

 

Also, I don't like the idea that because I'm sort of a loser I'm not 'picky', that would infer that my standards are the same to everybody's. I grew up liking a bit of meat, maybe is my culture, but I like it, what can I do about it? *shrugs*

[tiredofvampires]

i think i'm a bit more critical than the guys here tov. i think hero is saying that my standards are higher than most on ena. but that doesn't mean most guys wouldn't take a supermodel over a bigger girl with love handles. that's all i was saying about ena representing all guys out there apples to apples so to speak.

 

Agreed, and I also think your standards are higher than the male population at large, on or off ena. I say this having had social intercourse with many, many guys of many walks.

 

So I think it's quite reasonable that we have you here as a representative of one end of the spectrum (as critical as they can be, lol) and there are a few men who would be at the other end...the rest are sort of in between.

[ProtestTheHero]

Agreed, and I also think your standards are higher than the male population at large, on or off ena.

 

Ehhhhhhhhh

 

Not sure I agree with that one. That's par for the course everywhere I've been so far. Very, very small # that I know are willing to bend on weight issues.

[tiredofvampires]

Well, I think a lot of guys out there are willing to make allowances for level of "tone" in a girl's arms, how washboard her abs, etc. etc. Even you are willing to bend where Ghost is not, and I don't see your tastes as out of the norm. And I think you fit the majority on that, here. A couple of guys here are in happy relationships (here to give advice and just like psychology), and have said the pics of a few women are hot here, but Ghost has picked on these women's bodies' imperfections. I'm not sure that's your average guy.

[ghost69]

Well, I think a lot of guys out there are willing to make allowances for level of "tone" in a girl's arms, how washboard her abs, etc. etc. Even you are willing to bend where Ghost is not, and I don't see your tastes as out of the norm. And I think you fit the majority on that, here. A couple of guys here are in happy relationships (here to give advice and just like psychology), and have said the pics of a few women are hot here, but Ghost has picked on these women's bodies' imperfections. I'm not sure that's your average guy.

 

i didn't say that i was average. you said the guys on ena wouldn't mind extra weight. but i think hero is saying, if they could, they would take a more attractive woman if they didn't have to 'settle'. i think a lot of guys on ena have self-esteem problems or social issues to deal with and would take a less attractive girl due to that.

 

are we thinking the same on that hero?

[sweetdslollipop]

In my reality, most of the people I see in relationships do not have this perfect/ideal face nor body that most ENAers seem to think is a requirement for being loved or finding love. Thank God! lol

[DunwichChild]

i didn't say that i was average. you said the guys on ena wouldn't mind extra weight. but i think hero is saying, if they could, they would take a more attractive woman if they didn't have to 'settle'. i think a lot of guys on ena have self-esteem problems or social issues to deal with and would take a less attractive girl due to that.

are we thinking the same on that hero?

 

Or, they just like something else, something different to what the average man wants and strives for.

[Sparkly Eyes]

i didn't say that i was average. you said the guys on ena wouldn't mind extra weight. but i think hero is saying, if they could, they would take a more attractive woman if they didn't have to 'settle'. i think a lot of guys on ena have self-esteem problems or social issues to deal with and would take a less attractive girl due to that.

 

are we thinking the same on that hero?

 

Maybe it is because they fall in love with those girls and see them beautiful anyway? You make it sound like people that are conventionally less attractive can not be desirable and others just go for them because they can't get any better. Yes it is true in some cases and totally false in many other cases. Not all guys think like you do!

[ghost69]

Or, they just like something else, something different to what the average man wants and strives for.

 

 

riiiiight, but i never said they didn't.

 

Maybe it is because they fall in love with those girls and see them beautiful anyway? You make it sound like people that are conventionally less attractive can not be desirable and others just go for them because they can't get any better. Yes it is true in some cases and totally false in many other cases. Not all guys think like you do!

 

whoa, i never said that. this all started saying the guys on THIS thread represent all guys out there. i beg to differ as only a few (maybe 5-6) guys commented on this thread. that doesn't represent 2.5 billion people to me.

[shera]

I think there is a huge difference between just attraction and love...if you're just looking to get laid and have some eye candy then yes you want the hottest thing ever, if you are looking for a long lasting relationship, a partnership then I think you want the whole package and there is room for flaws...nobody is perfect, everyone has a different standard of beauty.

Can you imagine all the people in the world and not one person exactly the same as anyone else (twins aside) EVERYONE is beautiful in their own way...

I wish we didn't feel the need to obsess over our body parts and what we think beauty should be...

*sigh* perfect world I am talking about I guess

[Sparkly Eyes]

whoa, i never said that. this all started saying the guys on THIS thread represent all guys out there. i beg to differ as only a few (maybe 5-6) guys commented on this thread. that doesn't represent 2.5 billion people to me.

 

off course it doesn't. However it does not sound fair to accuse them of having self esteem issues if they accept a girl with love handles either!

[ghost69]

off course it doesn't. However it does not sound fair to accuse them of having self esteem issues if they accept a girl with love handles either!

 

this was all based on just love handles though. i doubt that the majority of men would think they are sexy or muffin tops are hot. that's all i was saying. some of the pics posted sure aren't the best representation and love handles might be different to the next guy. i get that. but i do think a lot of guys on ena have social issues with meeting women and if they meet a woman with this would have less of a problem NOT dating them. why do i think this? the posts.

 

don't try and make me out to be a bad guy in this. i'm sure a lot of the guys here would agree they have issues when it comes to meeting a woman they would like to date versus a girl that will just accept a date. i try and help that self-esteem. i don't bash it.

[DunwichChild]

riiiiight, but i never said they didn't.

 

 

 

whoa, i never said that. this all started saying the guys on THIS thread represent all guys out there. i beg to differ as only a few (maybe 5-6) guys commented on this thread. that doesn't represent 2.5 billion people to me.

 

Maybe not on those terms, but you have said that a guy with self-esteem issues could drop their chubby girl for a more supermodel looking one, some will at the drop of a hat, some won't.

 

I've learned through time that my attraction mechanism is more akin to woman's than to man's, I doubt I'm the only one.

[tiredofvampires]

i didn't say that i was average.

 

Well, you just made me realize that I have contradicted myself, lol. Touche (unintentionally, for you.) I know that's not the focus of your post here, but first I said you might be the average kind of guy that's out in the real world, while also represented in ena's membership (which was the basis of my argument that ena represents the male population relatively well). Then I said that you aren't the norm, because you're so picky and critical. I can't believe I'm outing myself, but better I do it before someone else does, har har.

 

So just to clear that up, I think you are kind of an average dude, ghost, who if you picked off the street randomly and asked what they'd like in a girl, you'd say something that represents the average/normative guy's taste.

 

However, I think you're just more extreme about it, period.

 

I think eNA is a slice of the population that has problems, but I think we are just more vocal about them and have decided to use the internet to deal with them, so that we spare our real life friends, get more opinions that are unbiased, find others who share similar problems to see how they're dealing with it, and feel safer to disclose more.

 

I think if you polled people outside ena and people within it about love handles, no matter what their issues, both groups would respond about equally.

 

Sweetdslollipop, that's my reality, too. However, people like you and I weigh in on ena as much as people on here who think their lives depend on how angular their cheekbones or if they have a six pack, so once again: you and I are just as much here to counterbalance the score.

[ProtestTheHero]

i didn't say that i was average. you said the guys on ena wouldn't mind extra weight. but i think hero is saying, if they could, they would take a more attractive woman if they didn't have to 'settle'. i think a lot of guys on ena have self-esteem problems or social issues to deal with and would take a less attractive girl due to that.

 

are we thinking the same on that hero?

 

Yes, this is what I am saying. People might learn to love certain imperfections (a phrase I hate), but they will hardly PREFER them.

[ghost69]

Maybe not on those terms, but you have said that a guy with self-esteem issues could drop their chubby girl for a more supermodel looking one, some will at the drop of a hat, some won't.

 

I've learned through time that my attraction mechanism is more akin to woman's than to man's, I doubt I'm the only one.

 

a woman's than a man's? you mean you are attracted more to mental and care less about the physical?

[Lucius]

a woman's than a man's? you mean you are attracted more to mental and care less about the physical?

 

That's certainly true for me (and I'm heavily into fitness myself). I don't care that much about physical appearance; it's just not really that big a deal for me. I fell in love with my fiancee because of her warm, wise, loving self - not because of her beauty. Of course, when you love someone, they seem tremendously beautiful to you anyway. More beautiful, in a certain way, than anyone else can ever be. But objectively attractive physical traits, for me, are just a bonus.

 

And my self esteem's pretty solid, by the way.

[DunwichChild]

a woman's than a man's? you mean you are attracted more to mental and care less about the physical?

 

In a way, if you tell me that there are two women with the exact same personality, one with model looks, the other more chubby or more homely or whatever, I wouldn't know what to answer, it would be like a Buridan's Ass I would just remain immovable and sexless. But, maybe I'm just weird, I've got threads to prove it, lol.

[tiredofvampires]

I dunno, I don't want to look perfect to my mate. I would rather he actually relish some of the things I feel insecure about.

 

Both of my last boyfriends -- neither of whom was overweight -- started to develop a bit of the love handles/spare tire thing. It wasn't some gigantic gut, but some extra padding. Would I have gone to the Customize Your Man store and said, "Yeah, I'll take a tad bit of spare tire"? Probably not. But actually, nor would I go out and pick something that looks like you'd break your thumb pressing into it. I don't like hardbodies. So it's funny, but these guys would pull up their shirts and complain to me, "Ugh, look at this, I'm getting fat!" and I actually thought it was really cute. I didn't "learn" to love it, I just DID love it, as it came up. They were more hung up on it than I was.

 

Also, who cares if someone ends up loving something they didn't at first? Isn't the end product (the love) all that matters? You love what you love, it doesn't matter what it looked like before. You're here now, genuinely being jazzed up. I have definitely a couple of traits that I know guys at first didn't like but then said they had come to love, and while I would have preferred they liked it instantly, I kind of almost felt like a proud spokesperson for those traits after that, ha. It was like I'd successfully converted them. Yhes! It can feel nice.

 

Edit: on second thought, I actually do think I'd choose a slight bit of padding, myself. A slight jiggle with your sin is where it's at.

[ProtestTheHero]

I guess I don't understand why anyone would love padding. I don't want a new car, give me that big ass minivan? I don't really understand that. If you weren't into it at first, why should that change? I dislike fat, but fat attached to funny is sexy fat? I don't get it, but then again, I do not think that way.

[Sparkly Eyes]

I knew a guy, he was average/good looking, definitely great body and good in money education and all of that. He told me appearance does not matter, I was like but he seemed very serious that looks don't matter to him as much as intelligence and other things... It was very odd for me because I had never heard outright from a guy that looks don't matter at all!