Scout Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 No, don't remove it, it wasn't offensive or anything. I just wanted us to keep in mind what you just pointed out about how it's thoughtless/hurtful of our exes to act a certain way that will lead up to sex, without clarifying that they have no intention of getting back together. [/i] Link to comment
Scout Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Well, darn it - you removed it. ok, well anyway - if anyone is thinking about having sex with their ex, read about my recent experience this past weekend and think twice before you do it. Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 I guess the thing is that I can tell myself I won't feel anything, but I'm sure I will...question is what will I feel... I know I could go into it knowing that it wouldn't be us getting back together, just having some fun with someone you've had "fun" with before. I think the problem may be that I'd hope too much afterwards, that what happened made her re-think....Maybe I did something that seduced her past just her sexual feelings...something that touched her emotionally as well...but I don't know exactly how I'd feel.... Like someone's signature line..."life is the worst teacher, it gives the test first." Or maybe I could work her up to the point she wants to sleep with me, and then not give it too her...just be a tease all night...that would be fun and I would simply look back and say "i know what I could have done with her." LOL, I love it... Oh well I guess we'll see what happens...right now we're playing phone tag so bad that our messages back and forth have simply become "tag, your it!" I'll be at a Baseball game tonight so I probably won't get to talk to her...more tag! Hope everyone is doing good...thanks for the thoughts! Anymore!? Link to comment
Scout Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 My opinion is: any angle you're looking at this, you're playing a dangerous game. I wish I hadn't done it, is all I can say. Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 27, 2004 Author Share Posted April 27, 2004 I hear what you are saying Scout. However, I, too played a dangerous game, and I have no regrets! G xx Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 It's tough, tough to know whats right...whats best if I want her back, I know that at this point she doesn't want a serious relationship with me (or anyone else according to her, which I believe.) So maybe the emotions that would come from having sex would change her mind, maybe not...maybe teasing her and then not giving it up would do that, probably not...Either way no matter what happens now or in the next couple months...The game changes (for better or worse) in three and a half months when I get back to school... She might want me back now, but doesn't want to let me know that so that I make the decision to go back to school for me and not her, maybe she needs to know that I am going back for me and thats why she's holding back... Maybe she doesn't want a serious relationship... Maybe she's been lying to me for the past four months, maybe she has a boyfriend, maybe she left me for him, maybe she doesn't want me to be her friend and she's just being nice...I doubt that and I think GeeCee could agree with me, but it will all be evident when i go back. Maybe i sleep with her this weekend, maybe we go out and have a fun time and leave it at that...Maybe she doesn't want to see me so we don't even meet up... I don't really care at this point...I'm just sick of what if's!!! I'll do what I feel like doing at that moment and go with the flow and know that i did whatever I felt best at the time and be at peace with that!!! I do hear what your saying though scout, dangerous dangerous!!! Link to comment
Scout Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Don't get me wrong - the sex was great, actually! But what a shot to the ego when he STILL didn't want to get back together. Sometimes, though, I think I worry too much about my ego and pride. I don't really know how to fight for something I truly want without blowing my cool, or getting forceful. And that tactic just never, ever seems to work for me in relationships. Ok, I'm sort of off subject here, now - sorry! My goodness, we should all secure the rights to this thread and pitch it to Hollywood! So many riveting stories to follow! Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Okay, so I think my last post got deleted...oh well. So now here's another thing that comes up... We've been playing phone tag up until last night...We talk briefly and she was busy and said she needed to get going, so I mentioned that I would be in her town for the weekend starting thursday night...My college fraternity is having it's annual end of the year date party (which was me and the ex's first date, a year ago) Well she says oh for the party, I have to work in the morning but I was planning on stopping by...and get this then she says "the boys weren't going to tell you because they weren't sure if you'd be pissed..." So my boys are holding back, they should tell me....they know I'm going to be there and how I feel about her.... I wonder if they told her I was going to be there? We'll see what happens...she kept asking "well if you don't want me there i won't come by" I said no, it'll be fun (it would be) but she says "you kinda hesitated there, you sure? I don't want it to be awkward" Again with the awkward, she's the one thats making it awkward... Some how I need to make her relax and understand that i won't be pushing for the relationship anymore....sex, well I might try to get that, but I need to make her relax around me....any thoughts on how? I think her being at this party is a good thing, hopefully I can get her to stay for awhile and cut loose, get over the awkward bull____. I just hope I don't get down because it should be our one year anniversary... Link to comment
twizod Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 dikaia880 it sounds like she is just doing a bad job of keeping things simple between you two. If I were you I think the best move would be to show up and try to bring a date. Jealousy can work wonders with a woman. Just don't mention it to her. This may sound dirty and you may feel guilty but the one thing your ex-partnet does not want to see is you getting over her and doing better and that is exactly would you need to convey besides confidence, also. If you don't feel right doing this then you should not go. If your emtions are so wrapped up and twisted that you could not handle it then please do not run into her. These phone calls keep you wrapped around her finger whether you are doing it to yourself or she is. I wish you the best of luck! Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Well, I'm not going to not go....It's my fraternity's annual party...it's a big deal and usually one of the best times you'll ever have, so not going is out of the question...Bringing a date would be hard as I don't live there...but I could convince another ex of mine who is a friend of mine... I wouldn't want to do that though as it comes accross pretty obvious in the intentions... I just need to be confident...I might email her and say... You didn't sound to sure about being at the party when we talked. It's been awhile since we last talked about us, and I've been able to get my head straight about our situation...I know what you want and I know I can't change that and I don't want to change that. If you honestly wants to be friends, I think this would be a good time for us to have fun with each other and just get comfortable again...If you really don't want to be friends and you've just been saying that to make me "feel better" or if you think you'll feel awkward than maybe you shouldn't go. I'm comfortable with you being there, and in fact I think it would be a lot of fun, but if your not ready then thats fine... What do you all think? I don't know if she'll be checking her email the rest of the week, thats why I'm a little hesitant to email...what about a short phone call? Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 Dikaia Short phone call to clear the air and say what you outlined in your post above. Twizod Sorry for this - but SHAME on you - using another woman to get back at the ex. I do not think that Dikaia's woman is a fool. What about other people's feelings - why are we acting as if people are commodities to be dangled in front of our exes faces, to lure them back. And for how long .....? G xx Link to comment
dikaia880 Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Hey GeeCee, thanks for the advice! I'm going to hold off the call for now...Maybe she'll call as we only had a chance to talk for a couple minutes last night... It all just seems so weird....Why haven't my boys told me she was planning on being there? Did she know I'd be there... Another thing...and this is possibly me reading into things, but it's an odd thing... She says the store she works for is opening a new store and she's been doing a lot for it...But when she talks about it she keeps saying the date, even though it's on Monday...It doesn't seem normal the way she keeps saying the date it's May 3rd this and May 3rd that...you know she says the date when it doesn't need to be said...Okay here's why it's bugging me... May 3rd would be our one year anniversary if we were together...She never talks in terms of dates unless their way off in the future...but next week? most would say on Monday...Probably reaching I know, but it just seems weird to me...any thoughts on this? I won't bring up the "it would have been our anniversary" talk, but it'll be interesting to see if she says anything on it being a year later... Link to comment
twizod Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 GeeCee, the reason I used that tactic is b/c this is one big mental game when two people separate. I cannot help it and I do not play games until it becomes a last resort. But, for dikaia880 he wants to attend and it is causing complications for the frat event. I know he really cares about his girl but all the power is swayed on her end. I think it is better to neutralize the situation somehow. This may seem petty to you, but sometimes letting one person have all the advantage can be just as harmful as breaking up over and over again. Dikaia880 bring your ex as a friend. Surely that cannot be a bad thing. I have lots of women friends and really enjoy hanging out with them so it would never occur to me as "being fake". Plus, this is a good time to re-establish friendly relations you didn't have time for while being in a relationship. It is healthy to get re-acquinted with friends and I really have to push this idea. You need to be seen to her and being independent. This may not accomplish your main goal but it will show you that you can survive even in tough times. Link to comment
ziggystar Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 okay, here's my dilemma. my ex/girl broke off about a month ago (she was afraid of what the commitment meant and i might have pushed too hard). it wasn't official and have kept contact sparsely through out the last month. so i gave her space and no pressure about the relationship. the contact got progressively thinner until this past week when it spiked, resulting in some plans to go for breakfast and coffee upon here arrival back from a trip from her parents place. this is the part, i've been waiting for. she's starting to warm up again and show emotions. right. but now i'm panicking. i think that the failure and problems of any relationship is 50/50. no one person is to blame. in the past month i have realized what i did wrong to contribute to the failure. i am fully aware of most of it and in the course of remedying it. awareness is half the battle. but i'm panicking because i don't know if she has made any of her own effort, or am i fooling myself to believe it'll be any different then before? or am i jumping to far ahead for such a simple coffee date (my problem to begin with)? i think maybe i should just be happy to see her for coffee and have no expectations of more and feel it out. Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 29, 2004 Author Share Posted April 29, 2004 i think maybe i should just be happy to see her for coffee and have no expectations of more and feel it out. Absolutely right Ziggystar. You know EXACTLY what to do. Good luck. G xx Link to comment
kathyk Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 well everything is still going well. we are learning to comunicate. i do love him so. had a wonderful weekend. surgery went well. very sore. look wonderful.... boy lots of posts since last time i was here. gee cee how are you????hope you are doing well. got alot to catch up on. Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 29, 2004 Author Share Posted April 29, 2004 Good for you Kathyk ... we are delighted for you (and your new tits!!!) G xx Link to comment
twizod Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 Some pictures so I can fully judge the quality of the work would be very much appreciated Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 29, 2004 Author Share Posted April 29, 2004 Some pictures so I can fully judge the quality of the work would be very much appreciated Thanks Twizod - you made me LMAO!!! Thanks a lot - made my day!! I DO HAVE VERY LOW EXPECTATIONS THESE DAYS!!! (Message to ziggystar!!). G xx Link to comment
twizod Posted April 29, 2004 Share Posted April 29, 2004 If I can put a smile on somebodies face every day I could end each day with a smile knowing that Link to comment
kathyk Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 geecee my surgeon is excellent. it has been 1 week and i want everyone to know when i get pictures i will share them. but i just don't know where to send them!! lol. hey they are mine and i will not share. we are doing well (glenn and I) lol. his fling from two months ago is harassing me. but i just ignore. boy why do guys always pick scum when they are away??? but he doesn't leave my side for anything. i have basically told him we are or we are not. i told him i love me first then if i have time i will love him. but i am first. this sight has done wonders for me. i do know i can live with or without a partner. its wonderful. i am a person. geecee have you heard anything from yours yet??? haven't had time to read posts yet. let me know whats going on. its killing me not to know. Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 Make me laugh Twizod. Crashing f^cking day. Absolutely crashing - one of those out of the blue, wrip you apart moments that lasted ALL DAY LONG. Ooooooh, you take 100 steps forward, more than that even, and then a smell, a taste, a memory takes you back and you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN!!! I know I know I know that it gets better. I know that it will pass. Hope that it is soon. G xx Link to comment
SincerlyHurt Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Gee, I hope you are making it. I knew this day would come and surely you did too. Mine is probably on its way too. Just keep walking forward babe, you will make it through this, we all do. Can you go out this weekend, maybe sip some red, maybe make things technicolor? If so get yourself out there in all your glory. Don't let those walls at home close in around you. I will be thinking of you, hoping you are alright. Im off to continue moving a friend to a new place, hence my absense. Oh, and I must update my post soon too before I forget stuff. Link to comment
GeeCee Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 MarkyMark It hurts tooooo much. Have isolated myself - I know that you would frown disapprovement. You have your way, honey, and I have mine. No-one else can assuage my pain. Sometimes I wonder if some gorgeous man tastefully drooling over me over a lovely dinner would work. But, non, am certainly not able to date yet. Not yet. Of course it will come. Not yet though. Ooooooh I know that this will pass. It just hurts sooo, and seems so unecessary! Hope your day is going better. G xx Link to comment
SincerlyHurt Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Gee, I kknow you will be ok tonight. Take heart in knowing I am accross the pond thinking of your plight. I am glad we got to chat today and hope you feel at least a bit better. Sleep tight. Link to comment
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