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I'm really confused about where my relationship is going.


KrnBoi

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Hi, I'm a 16 year old boy interested in another 16 year old girl.

 

This girl has been on my mind for almost 4 years now, and i still had no courage to ask her out. Or rather, I had no chance to ask her out. And it seems as though i never will.

 

I became interested in her when i met her at my friends birthday party. I was the unsocial type, and as usual since there was noone that I really knew there, I laid down on the couch. For a few minutes I closed my eyes. The girl came over and looked at me when I opened my eyes. She asked me to dance with her, and at that point i really became infatuated.

 

Every year I anticipated the party, and became unnaturally nervous about it each time. Last year, during our christmas party, I managed to get her number. She had asked me to dance again, but this time, it was more "dirty dancing." I'm the kind of guy who can't really take it. I mean, I like it of course, but It was hard to do that with the girl you like with an honest heart. Here, I know it was my mistake because I was told by some of my friends that girls like daring boys.

But anyways, We had been keeping contact over facebook until then.

 

Every time I would ask her out to the mall to hangout, she would always come up with the excuse that she has to babysit. At first, I understood. But as time past, this was a common excuse. I asked her if she liked babysitting or if she was forced to babysit, and she replied, saying that since the kid was family, it was obvious that she be taking care of him. From what I can guess, the kid is about 5. Her sister and brother-in-law had the kid, and is constantly out working, without time to take care of their own child. I felt like this was wrong, but since she was content with it, I was also.

 

But it kept bothering me, because now I can't ask her out until she asks me out, because only then will I know that she is actually free. Even if I preplan and ask her if she has any free time over the next week, she always replies, "I don't know, my schedule might be full."

 

Her 16th birthday came along, and I decided to make it special for her. I had a cupcake ready with the candles and present. It was a surprise, and I'm guessing she really appreciated it. She seemed "awkward" uncomfortable. It was my first time doing such thing for a girl in my life, and i thought i really did something for once.

 

*I also have the tendency to back off from what I was going to do. I was really going to ask her out when I gave her the surprise birthday, but after I talked to her a bit, It felt as though I was nowhere near close to being able to go out with her; not because she was so much popular than me or anything, but because she seemed so innocent.

 

Once I got home, I texted her. We had a conversation going, until I awkwardly asked, "What IF we went out?" or along the lines (drowsiness makes you brave, I swear.) She didn't really act like she didn't like it when I asked her, but she gave more of a confused reply, like she didn't think I was going to ask her. Notice the IF.

 

after two weeks, it came back to the same relationship as it was before. I had not made any progress at all.

 

I even asked her if she would like to take driving classes with me over the summer because we both have a permit, and still need to take drivers ed. She said maybe, if her schedule is open.

 

I'm confused. Are those babysitting excuses real, or are they just to avoid me?

Was I in the wrong? Was I too aggressive, or to mild in my approach?

Can this go on?

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I might be stupid, but I like to say it more face to face, than through phone or text. Its the only way I think is assertive and honest. But I don't know about what the girl might think of this; she might not even care. So I really don't know

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I might be stupid, but I like to say it more face to face, than through phone or text. Its the only way I think is assertive and honest. But I don't know about what the girl might think of this; she might not even care. So I really don't know

 

Then just do it. You're young, and what do you have to lose? She says no, you're back at square one. You don't really have a relationship right now... it's a friendship that you hope will grow into something more. The only way for it to become something more is if you make it that way.

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Then just do it. You're young, and what do you have to lose? She says no, you're back at square one. You don't really have a relationship right now... it's a friendship that you hope will grow into something more. The only way for it to become something more is if you make it that way.

 

You're absolutely right. I feel like im second guessing myself though, because even if we do start going out, she might make more of the same excuses, and this relationship might just be "dating" in name. I'm not exactly afriad as to if she turns me down, just afraid what will happen if we begin to date.

 

I guess the questions is more, Is it 'healthy' for both of us to date at this point?

 

I think I lost you there...

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You're absolutely right. I feel like im second guessing myself though, because even if we do start going out, she might make more of the same excuses, and this relationship might just be "dating" in name. I'm not exactly afriad as to if she turns me down, just afraid what will happen if we begin to date.

 

I guess the questions is more, Is it 'healthy' for both of us to date at this point?

 

I think I lost you there...

 

Didn't lose me. Been there, done that. In fact, my newest relationship, I had some of the same fears... even at the age of 21. It's normal, when you're going after somebody who stays busy, to be concerned about the amount of time you'll get to spend with them. The thing you have to realize though is that relationships, no matter what age, take time. It may start out feeling like it's dating "in name only" for a while until you two get the chance to get to know eachother better.

 

Take it slow, don't worry about if she's busy doing other things. If you start out doing stuff once a week, fine. If things go well, she'll make more time later on down the road, regardless of what her schedule is like.

 

All of these worries are for nothing though, until you find out whether or not she's even interested in dating

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hey man i im 16 and dating someone i thnk i might love too. I can see how u arent comfy with her dirty dancing with you since u really like her and might think that in her mind its just lust not love since she dity dances but u never know. And for the bday present you should really onsider telling her that it was ur first time doing it for any girl.she'd prob think thats sweet. From the situation i think u should ask her out u know? the girl im dating is my first too and it took me 9 months to finally ask ehr out. ofcourse she told me she liked me so i could ask ehr but i mean she might not have and i woulda lost my chance. dont take chances cuz when u finally ask trust me ull love te feeling. im sure shell say yes! unless she really just wants to be very close friends with u but just be like hey we've been friends a long time and had alotta fun together and i enjoy being wit u so i was wondering if you'd like to be my girlfriend?

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btw i babysit my enise and nephew and thats my excuse most of the time too but i proved it to her by letting my gf babysit with me one night =) it was a fun night u should try to do that if u can.im sure se really does have to babysit cuz i have to every weekend cuz my sisters at work

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yea youre right too. its just that whenever we text each other, its always her that's the one to end our string of text convos. i get confused, and alot of times i lose my confidence because i have no way of telling whether or not she likes me. by now she definitely knows that i like her, and that im pretty much going to ask her out. i guess im looking for the spark from her. not very initiative on my part, though...

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12 Reasons You Can Find Love
12 Reasons You Can Find Love

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