messedup85 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Hey, So here is a quick blurb if you don't wanna read the whole thing. Been with my BF for over 3 years. There is this other guy who I was and still very attracted to from HS. Still talking to him and I wanna basically see this guy one time to see if my feelings towards him are genuine or just a temptation. So my boyfriend and me have been together three years. We had a very strong connection in the beginning but not really anymore. We get along great but I find it's like we are room mates, we haven't ever really attempted to fix this and I have never really put a huge amount of initiative in it. Once in a blue moon we will have great physical moment. We have built a life together but I just don't feel that connection. Now this other guy, I met him in high school. I still remember the day I saw him and how taken back I was of him. In high school he would have been considered a play boy, never slept with anyone but very flirtatious and was known to make out with a different girl every week. In our senior year I became a notch on his locker door. We had the most physical connection I have ever experienced......Like MIND BLOWING just from a kiss. I dunno if it was raging teenage hormones or what but my god LOL. anyways we continued talking after HS and I saw him from time to time with the same physical explosion everytime I saw him. He knew I was very untrusting with him cuz of his track record in HS and well I met my current BF and told him sux to be you. Now we have still been talking on MSN and such even though I am with this other guy. I have told him that you know we can't talk like we use to and that we can just be friends. Last night though our conversation took a turn to some more serious talk. He said to me "Your the one who got away" and that he can make me happier then my current BF ever could, treat me like a princess. I know this could be a play, but I cannot get him out of my mind. He is like my real life Mr. Big.....didn't want a relationship before and is now pining for me and I am taken. Should I totally cut ties and move on.....or should I just see him this once....just to see.....I want to see him though.......... Link to comment
Catdancer Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I'd agree to see him once and see if the sparks still fly. But remember, the grass is not always greener. You have a good life with your bf, BUT you are lacking something. I'd try to figure out what you are missing, talk with your bf and try to fix the "great" life that you alrady have. But, alas, if it were me personally, I would see the HS friend one more time just to be sure. Link to comment
KG Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Satisfy your curiosity, in public though. Altho I like CD's advice. Link to comment
messedup85 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 No infidelity would not happen. I am a person who doesn't condone that behaviour either. That is my huge dilemma some days I feel like thrwoing it all away and just go on my own. I will definentely keep everything plutonic and would keep our meeting spot very open to the public. I think I will let him know I want to see him but be very straight out my intentions of meeting him. We haven't seen each other face to face since before my LTR started and my physical features have changed quite a bit and my personality, so this meeting could also change his mind. I do need to see him one time. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 How is it so easy to make you bf a choice. I don't get it. If you are not happy then either fix it or break up. THEN if you want to pursue something with this guy that basically is trying get you to leave your bf for him (not much of a man) you can. I would guess that once you are totally available MR. Big will run! Give your bf a chance to find someone that Really loves him and doesn't go shopping for a replacement when things aren't going perfect. Lost Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Doesn't your intent make it an emotional affair? Infidelity is not just intimate contact you know. Lost No infidelity would not happen. I am a person who doesn't condone that behaviour either. That is my huge dilemma some days I feel like thrwoing it all away and just go on my own. I will definentely keep everything plutonic and would keep our meeting spot very open to the public. I think I will let him know I want to see him but be very straight out my intentions of meeting him. We haven't seen each other face to face since before my LTR started and my physical features have changed quite a bit and my personality, so this meeting could also change his mind. I do need to see him one time. Link to comment
messedup85 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 My INTENT is trying to figure out feelings I have had for a person over 5 years! If it's an emotional affair then yes I am an emotional * * * * ! I am trying to figure this out because I don't want to string ANYONE along ANYMORE. I am not shopping for a replacement, I do love him and care deeply for him and I WOULD NOT want to hurt him. I am going to figure this out and if the other guy runs then fine, I will have my answer and then I can move on with my life. Everyone is not perfect Obviously I am not but if we don't make mistakes in life and take chances and yes be selfish then we won't learn in my eyes. if you think thasts messed up then thats your perogative!!! Link to comment
Lecturer Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 lostandhurt is the man... I second his advice. Link to comment
KG Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 My INTENT is trying to figure out feelings I have had for a person over 5 years! If it's an emotional affair then yes I am an emotional * * * * ! I am trying to figure this out because I don't want to string ANYONE along ANYMORE. I am not shopping for a replacement, I do love him and care deeply for him and I WOULD NOT want to hurt him. I am going to figure this out and if the other guy runs then fine, I will have my answer and then I can move on with my life. Everyone is not perfect Obviously I am not but if we don't make mistakes in life and take chances and yes be selfish then we won't learn in my eyes. if you think thasts messed up then thats your perogative!!! This sounds like a reasonable approach. Link to comment
Happiest26 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Doesn't your intent make it an emotional affair? Infidelity is not just intimate contact you know. Lost You are the most WISE male I've ever encountered! I hope the girls on here listen to you!! God bless!! Link to comment
Rabican Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Ill just say this, your guy from high school wouldnt be the first, or the last guy to make a play for a girl as soon as shes taken. Thats about as old as the wheel itself. Furthermore, in my opinion if a guy lacks the morals, or just common decency to NOT make a play on another guys girl... then I have to wonder what else he is capable of in a relationship. Ie if he doesnt respect you, or your relatonship now.... will he respect yours (if you were together with him). What should you do? Either stop talking to this guy, completely! or break up with your bf. You cant be a good girlfriend and still carry on a friendship with a guy who you have such an attraction to, and whom doesnt respect the relationship you are currently in. Maybe you should refocus your efforts into your current bf before you do anything... see if you can get that spark back. Link to comment
offplanet Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 If he was a player before, he probably still is, so don't go falling in love with him. If the connection isn't there with your b/f, maybe you should call it off with him anyway, otherwise, what's the point? offplanet Link to comment
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