Do you think people die when it is their time?

[PsychGirly]

Today is my father's 5-year anniversary of his death. Ironically, it's on father's day. And so, this topic hits home right now.

 

The only truth we know is that none of us will ever know the truth.

 

I think everyone has their own beliefs such as "it was their time to go" or "God needed another angel", because this helps them cope with their own experiences.

 

For example, when my father passed away, as difficult as it was to deal with, it made it easier to cope with the belief that "it was his time to go" or "this was God's plan for him"...because there were no solid answers.

 

I don't blame people for expressing their condolences with such phrases, because at times like this, it's really hard to find the right thing to say...because there is no right thing to say.

 

I don't know why my dad died, or where he is now, if he's watching over me, if he knows I'm gonna go visit his grave tomorrow morning for father's day...but it helps to believe that he is...

 

Belief is what we turn to when our mind can't provide us with rational answers. It's my comfort.

[indierockgrl]

i think anytime someone dies.. its their time. its all in gods plan....

 

it may seem to soon for our human thinking... but when its your time.. you go.

 

i suppose ultimately its what you believe though.... since only god really knows the truth.

[lonelynflfan]

I don't post here often, but very early this morning my dog passed away. I think that I need that comfort from sayings like "he's in a better place"..because I hope the world he is. This comfort helps me remember all the good times we had , and I do the same to past family members who I have lost. However, I do have a question that keeps popping in my head.

 

If everything has to end, what exactly is the point of life? In reality, nothing will last and everything changes and dies. I'm usually a very optimistic person, but this grieving has me thinking on the other side of the spectrum.

[PsychGirly]

I don't post here often, but very early this morning my dog passed away. I think that I need that comfort from sayings like "he's in a better place"..because I hope the world he is. This comfort helps me remember all the good times we had , and I do the same to past family members who I have lost. However, I do have a question that keeps popping in my head.

 

If everything has to end, what exactly is the point of life? In reality, nothing will last and everything changes and dies. I'm usually a very optimistic person, but this grieving has me thinking on the other side of the spectrum.

 

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

That's what makes life so beautiful. That's why it's so important to cherish every moment while it lasts.

 

If life was everlasting, there would be no point of it, if you think about it. The fact that we know it's going to end at one point is what makes us want to live it to the fullest.

[JusticeLaw9]

To me, to actually say that it was in God's plans for someone to kidnap, rape, mistreat, harm or murder another person is contradictory to our faith within him (for those us who believe).

 

I don't believe that a six-year-old young girl, innocently hit by gunfire during a rival neighborhood turf war, I don't believe in, "it was her time to go."

 

I don't believe that a single Mother of four kids who is killed on her way home in a car accident and her four young children without a father are separated in the foster care system, I don't believe "that was the way it was intended to be."

 

I don't believe that a woman being raped and beaten "happened for a reason."

 

I would think God's plan is for us to be happy, peaceful and live as decent and as prosperous of a life as we can live. So why would he take us away from our loved ones, why would he kill off our wives and strangle our brothers until they become blue in the face?? He doesn't. But his heavens are open 24/7 no matter how we come in from off the bus. And he will ask us what happened and our spirits will sing to him the lives we've lived on earth from beginning to end.

 

I do believe that people often leave this earth, still having not lived to their full potential. Even at 75 and 80 there's so much more life a person can live. I just think people often use that cliche as a way to help deal with anger, bitterness and to seal up the pain. Because it seems much more easier to accept & let go of something if we believe that it was intended to be that way. Even though deep down inside we know that's it's not, right. We sometimes lie to ourselves because we don't face the reality that exists.

[Georgie Grrl]

My 19yr old step-daughter was stabbed to death and practically decapitated by her boyfriend (and father of their now 1yr yr old) on Feburary 27th. So yeah, I believe people die before their time. I refuse to believe that it was God's plan for my sweet, innocent angel to die such a horrible, violent, painful death and leave her baby an orphan.

[PsychGirly]

My 19yr old step-daughter was stabbed to death and practically decapitated by her boyfriend (and father of their now 1yr yr old) on Feburary 27th. So yeah, I believe people die before their time. I refuse to believe that it was God's plan for my sweet, innocent angel to die such a horrible, violent, painful death and leave her baby an orphan.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope he gets what he deserves. God bless you & your family.

[Miss Firecracker]

My 19yr old step-daughter was stabbed to death and practically decapitated by her boyfriend (and father of their now 1yr yr old) on Feburary 27th. So yeah, I believe people die before their time. I refuse to believe that it was God's plan for my sweet, innocent angel to die such a horrible, violent, painful death and leave her baby an orphan.

 

 

No more than it was God's plan for my son to be born with cancer and other horrible things. No more than it was God's plan for my only other son to be struck down with the most severe case of Bipolar I disorder. If that's a part of a beautiful plan, well...who in the hell can believe that ****?

 

Who can believe it was God's plan that a mother just killed her newborn baby and ate the brain? Anyone up for that?

[SnowFox]

I am not someone who finds comfort in phrases such as "it was their time," etc.

 

One of the most wonderful little books I have ever read that challenges this way of thinking is called When Bad Things Happen to Good People - by Harold Kushner. He is a rabbi and has helped hundreds of families cope with horrible deaths and tragedies and he is the only person I have ever read who provides an adequate answer to these questions.

 

Its really a wonderful book - if you are looking for comfort after a personal tragedy or seeking answers to these types of questions, I highly recommend it.

[SamiJayne]

I used to believe it. Until my daughter died in november. How is living 3 hours "her time to die" Why couldn't my evil mother have died? she's caused so much pain an suffering. I'm pretty sure less people would be sad about her dying than my daughter dying.

 

I could give you a big list of people who SHOULD have died, rather than my daughter. Who didnt deserve it. I would have preferred myself to die, or someone else. She had a whole life to live, I dreamed of her going to uni, of having lots of books. To be smart and cute like her Daddy. To have Ginger hair, and eyelashes an eyebrows... And all I got was the cute an ginger part. I didn't get to watch her sports days, or take her on holiday, or treat her the way I would have wanted to be treated. I never got to read "Dear Zoo" or pull my hair out over her screaming her eyes out.

 

Who ever picks people to die, (if one does) then there a sicko.

[green2009]

I think the phrase can apply to SOME people. Obvously anyone in their 90's is so blessed to have lived that long. It's their time to go when they go. Then there are people who die in a way that makes you feel everything was planned. For example, a parent dying in a hospital yet holding on for longer than the doctors thought until their adult child arrives. It's like they were waiting because they wanted to see their child one more time.

 

My cousin was 10 when he died. Life is unfair and there are things that can't be controlled. It wasn't his time to die but for 10 years it was his time to live. My Aunt still cherishes those years.

 

I just lost my Mom and to me it seems like it was way before her time. It wasn't her time to go. But because I loved her so much I might have thought that no matter what age she was, even if she had lived another 20 years. It's just really hard losing someone you love dearly.

[waveseer]

Anytime is a good time to die. Please don't take that the wrong way. If I live my life the way I think is best and I die tomorrow it's all good. I don't believe in predetermination but I do believe in making the most out of every situation. What happens as a result of someone dying can be beautiful and worthwhile.

[Misakime]

I dont believe God 'takes' you when your time is up. I believe that you are blessed with life on this earth and are given the tools to live your life. When your life is ended you are judged by what you have done with the precious life youve been given, and if it is just to survive amidst terrible conditions or to give the joy of a newborns breath of life, or to live a long life amongst others and do something to make a small change in the way people think, or to be a leader of people, as long as you have glorified the chance of life that you have been given, you will receive your gods rewards.

[scared and alone]

Anytime is a good time to die. Please don't take that the wrong way. If I live my life the way I think is best and I die tomorrow it's all good. I don't believe in predetermination but I do believe in making the most out of every situation. What happens as a result of someone dying can be beautiful and worthwhile.

 

What does that mean? NOTHING beautiful or worthwhile happened as a result of my fathers death...

[raining.stars]

I think

What happens as a result of someone dying can be beautiful and worthwhile.

means that you can't change death, you cant change the past or horrible things that have happened, yes it is Unfair, but you still have to live. YOu appreciate the time you did have and realise the love you shared can never be taken away even if their body was. You think what can I learn from this? and choose to not let it destroy you. Think what you still have, and how you can live a life that incorporates their love into your life. Thats what Ive been trying to do, it is no easy task! but it is better than being miserable for the rest of your life, your loved one definitely would want you to be happy. Obviously you need time to grieve, and time to accept the death, but I guess there comes a time when you have to choose to live again and only you know when that time is.

[Miss Firecracker]

I am so sorry you lost your precious child.

[Mar1e]

I think that death is a fact of life. I do not pretend to know that timing is a question that can be answered. I hope this struggle inside of me having just lost one of the closest spirits in my life, she was shot by a careless teen. I truly believe that no time is the right time to die.

[BellaDonna]

A week ago the child of a family friend was tragically killed in a car accident before he reached his 7th birthday. He was a beautiful little boy, ripped from the Earth in an instant.

 

His parents donated his organs and saved other children.

 

But how does a family cope with something horrendous like that? Surely it was not that innocent little boy's "time" to die. If I lost my son I don't think I'd want to live anymore. If anyone ever told me it was his "time" to die, I'd go ballistic.

[SnowFox]

Surely it was not that innocent little boy's "time" to die. If I lost my son I don't think I'd want to live anymore. If anyone ever told me it was his "time" to die, I'd go ballistic.

 

I agree. Telling anyone who has lost a loved one that it was "their time to die" is an insulting platitude, in my opinion.

 

I believe most people feel so inadequate in the face of intense grief that they just end up saying things that at a minimum, are simplistic and superficial, and at a maximum, are deeply insulting and hurtful. Most certainly do not intend that when they say things like this.... but, they just truly do not know what to say.

 

Also, there often is not a lot that CAN be said....what needs to be said is really the most simple of things....such as, "I am so sorry for your loss....I cannot imagine the pain you are going through....I am here for you in any way that I possibly can be." And then, being proactive about offering comfort and help - bringing meals over without being asked, hugging the person and letting them sob on your shoulder, stepping in to assist with tasks that need to be taken care of, again, without being asked. I believe this is what most people really need when facing a horrible loss of someone they loved.

[piano_girl]

My husband and I have lost two children in less then a year...our last one on june 6th after 12 hours of labour.. and only 13 weeks and four days in the womb.. Life does not seem fair at all.. but I still believe that God is in control and that their lives although short lived... have purpose and meaning.

 

We believe God planned your life before the foundation on the earth and knew the numbers and what every day intailed....

 

I don't think people die before they are suppose to becasue I believe that God has control over everything.

 

I just don't always understand why certain things happen.

 

It hurts but it is a part of life sadly we live in a fallen world....full of sin and death...

 

 

my mum and i have the same view as you, I was a premmie, i was born at 25 weeks and my twin sister didn't make it but i did, medically there is no reason for me to be alive, all the doctors looked at my file and said i should be dead. even though i have survivors guilt i know i was left here for a reason and Ashleigh is a part of that, i live for her.

[scared and alone]

my mum and i have the same view as you, I was a premmie, i was born at 25 weeks and my twin sister didn't make it but i did, medically there is no reason for me to be alive, all the doctors looked at my file and said i should be dead. even though i have survivors guilt i know i was left here for a reason and Ashleigh is a part of that, i live for her.

 

I understand what you mean. I had meningitis when i was a baby, and every other baby in the hospital with me who had meningitis died, except me, of course. Which is why I KNOW i'm here for a reason and it drives me nuts that i dont know it. lol But, I am determined.

[15 Storeys High]

I don't believe in god or any other higher power. I think all that is bull. I think death IS a fact of life....of course it is.....we will all experience it, thus it is a fact of life. Nobody will live forever. However, I do think life can be unfair.......but I don't believe that is the fault of a higher power. I don't know the reason. I just know it's there. People die.....of all ages, all races, all genders, all times, all reasons.....I know...I've seen it. It happens. Death is the same in every person regardless of who they are. They may reach it a different way, at a different time, but it's the same. It's not pretty, or graceful, or peaceful....I wish I could say it was but it's not. In much the same way birth isn't pretty, graceful or peaceful. You enter the word kicking, screaming and causing pain and you do the same when you leave the world.

[Greedy Toad]

Life and all it entails is a risk.

 

Everything we do carries inherent risk.

Some risks are more controllable than others.

Such as driving while drunk, playing with guns, or even leaving your baby in the bath for a minute or two while you grab "something" from the other room.

 

Some risks, such as flying are beyond the control of us unless we choose never to fly.

Car accidents can be beyond the control of us unless we choose never to drive or be in a car.

 

This applies to everything we do in our lives.

The simple act of living and being brought undone by disease can be beyond our control.

Bad timing, wrong place at the wrong time, or sheer stupidity can lead to our demise.

 

 

I have a garden, i have around 60 tomato plants in that garden. They are all from the same batch of seeds i saved last year.

 

From thos 60 tomato plants that will all be treated equally, about 4 will simply die without any discernible reason.

2 or 3 will be dug out of the ground by birds looking for worms and will perish.

5 will probably be quite stunted and not mature properly.

 

One or two will not survive a very hot spell.

 

The rest will probably grow very healthily to a fruit bearing size.

 

3 or 4 will not grow any robust fruit and will be mulched (by me) back into the soil.

 

The rate of attrition for all living creatures, including humans (without advanced mediacl intercention) is similar, be it plants or animals.

 

The difference i could make would be to remove the risk of the birds by adding a net. Just as the risk of dying in a car accident could be reduced by not driving.

 

There is no rhyme or reason to attrition, it is simply a sad fact of life.

 

We are vulnerable creatures, we are actually quite fragile physically, and if it were not for the care of others, the attrition rate of humans would be almost immeasurable.

 

People take comfort in believing that there is a reason or purpose for everything. If you do, then that's fine, i think that belief can help people leave more compassionate and productive lives.

 

If my tomato plants could talk to me, and had thoughts and feelings, would I treat them any differently or expect more of them to survive? No, I wouldn't.

 

Death is a natural cycle, whether you believe it to be prematurely or not.

[Bella20]

I believe that when it's accidental or natural, people die because it was their time. When it's inflicted upon oneself, I don't think it was the time. But I also believe in limbo, so I think that those who inflict death upon themselves do not make it to the other side. At least not until their time comes.

[15 Storeys High]

What is this other side you speak of? And what is "limbo"......what is it like?