I want him back :o(

[Angelized]

My ex boyfriend and went out for 10months, I've known him for over a year now, we've been broken up for 5 months...

 

Just before we broke up we had this silly argument about condoms, we were on the phone then he hung up on me, he unhooked the phone so I couldn't get through, I got my brother to drop me off at his house for awhile & so he did, my ex & I argued some more, he was yelling at me pushing me around telling me to "Get the F*&K out of his house" I didn't leave until he said he was going to call the cops for me tresspassing, I only went there to tell him that our argument was stupid & to apologise the way I've been acting, but I made matters worse...

 

Next day he didn't come into class (we do the same course together) It was a friday, I started texting him asking if our relationship was alright, he texted me back & said "No it wasn't, it's over!" I asked him why? & his reply was "I don't love you anymore" It really hit me, but I didn't want to believe in it... later I rang him & told him I would accept it & to forgive me for my attendance at his house last night, he accepted my apologie so we became friends from then on, I met up with him in the city & we both hung out with our friends until we went home...

 

The next day we went to a carnival together, we had a really good time, later that night he said I could stay at his house if I needed a place to stay, we went home & he told me to sleep on the floor, so I did, it felt really weird at first because I usually sleep in his bed, I whined at him at first saying I wouldn't touch him but he said no.

 

Since we go to the same school I see him every single day, my computer is next to his aswell & I can't move seats because all the other computers are taken. From today we still spend after school moments, lunch breaks & some of our weekends together, either together or with our friends.

 

A few weeks later I had a miscarriage, I was 7 weeks pregnant & I didn't know... I told one of our bestfriend about it, he went & told my ex when I specifically told him not to. One night while I was over at his house, I told him what had happened, he was a bit angry/upset because he wasn't the first to know, I cried asking him if he wanted to know how or why it happened, he said he was "OVER" it & that he doesn't want to know anyting about it. That really upseted me but i ignored it because I didn't want to argue with him anymore. He didn't even comfort me, I guess it's because he doesn't know how to. I have been feeling so numb, empty & guilty about all this, because the person I love has not comforted me & he just doesn't care anymore. I have lost two parts of him & sometimes I think that I can't handle life anymore.

 

I asked him why he doesn't love me anymore, & at first he said he didn't know why, then later he said after our fight, he just thought at the back of his head & realised that he just doesn't anymore & that he really truly DID love me. But if he DID love me, he wouldn't be able to turn his love off so easily like a tap... Sometimes I don't believe him when he says that he doesn't love me anymore, reason why is that all the other times when him or I wanted to break up with eachother because of silly reasons I would always say "but if we both love eachother, why can't we be together" & we would always get back together from those words because they were true... & I think he's just saying that he doesn't love me anymore because there is no reason for him or I to get back together & he has just accepted that our relationship is just not going to work out.

 

The first couple of days/weeks, he wouldn't let me touch him, & now he lets me touch his face, his hair, his arms, lets me sit on his lap sometimes, & he especially hugs me everytime we say goodbye. I just have to thank god that he doesn't totally hate me & pushing me away, although I sometimes wish he does, because it would let me get over him faster.

 

Since our break up I have become a better person, we haven't had silly little fights anymore, we've both been a lot happier about things, we both do a lot more & still be happy...

 

I still want another chance, I believe that we can still be together, I believe that our break up was for me to learn my lesson so I can become a better person... but what if it is for real? what if he really doesn't love me anymore?

 

I am trying to prove to him that we can still be together & that I have changed, but it might be too late, he might realise that being just friends is best for us & I would get no more chances, we both have the same friends in class aswell, if I break our friendship up, I'll lose them aswell & I'll have to be alone.

 

While we were breaking up, he once said to me that I should treat it like a long break, & that he just doesn't want to be with anyone right now, & when he does, it might be me again, or it might be some other girl, I'll just have to wait & find out, but I don't want to be waiting all this time & then see him become lovers with another girl, I think that would hurt me more.

 

What can I do to get him back? I want to write him a letter, but I want to know if it's too late or too soon to spill my heart out at him... I want to know if he will actually listen to my words in that letter, I want to know what to say to get him back... Maybe I am better off without him, but I don't want that, I just want us to be together... everyone says that we still act like we still go out... he still rings me up when he wants to go out to an event with me.

 

What can I do or say to get him back?! please help! Do you think I still have a chance?! Please help me someone.

[lebkaren]

Hi Angelized, I am sorry that you are hurt. Nobody here will help you with you feelings, but we can only advise you and you can either accept or ignore what we are going to say. First of all, if I advised you to stop loving him, you will not listen cause it is just a strong feeling that is taking over you. So my advise is to get yourself busy with school, sports, work, friends... Cry, Cry alot and talk to your friends about him, but it is time to use the no contact rule. By not contacting him, you will definitely get the answer to your questions. He will either come back to you because he misses you, or you will forget him and find someone new. Listen, if he said he does not want you, why you still want him? You were attracted to him from the beginning because he wanted you and cared for you. I know you were happy and that's why you want him back right? But soon you'll be happy again with someone who really wants you and loves you. Just be patient. You'll get what you deserve.

[Emmylu]

Here's what I think, but I may be totally wrong 'cos I don't know the whole story.

 

I think you two are on different wavelengths when it comes to a gf/bf relationship. You are an "in-your-face" kind of gf, and he's someone who can't take too much of that. Doesn't mean he can't love you, but he can only do it in his own way. When you faught, maybe he felt hunted down at his place and saw a side of you that he didn't like, or lost trust that he'll be safe.

 

Don't write him a letter. If you do, he'll think of it as an "attack". I know it sounds weird 'cos you're only trying to tell him good things and it's only a harmless letter. But to someone who wants a break from any entanglements, it's an attack.

 

I think he still likes you as a person, but he can't handle you as a gf. If you want him back, you have to give him some breathing room first, otherwise he'll continue to resist.

[sbrew21]

Honestly, right now I am the same predicament you are. My boyfriend broke up with me which seems to be for no good reason at all. They like to give the excuse that they just don't feel it anymore. I think they are just being a coward. I want him back more than anything in this world, so I understand what you are feeling to some extent.

 

I have heard it a million times that games are stupid and pointless but I have learned that in every relationship its a game no matter how you look at it. Unfortunately right now you need to be strong and do nothing. Do not call him, do not hang out with him, and do not write him a letter. For everyday he doesn't call you, that is another day you do not answer your phone. The less contact you have with him the easier it will get to not be with him. By being friends with him you are only torturing yourself because that isn't truly what you want. He needs to miss you and realize what he had with you. If he can't appreciate you, and give you 100% then you shouldn't even want to be with him. He doesn't even seem to be nice to you at all, so I don't know why you even want to deal with that. But I do understand because I feel so strongly about someone too. You just have to keep yourself busy, hang out with friends. Do not wait by your phone for his call. When you see him in class just be indifferent and never ever look miserable or let him know anything is bothering you because guys just eat that stuff up. See if anyone in your class will swithc seats with you. Why give him the satisfaction!! At some point your sadness and hurt will turn to anger and you will realize you are to great for that crap. It seems like he is playing with your emotions and he needs to stop, and the only way that is going to happen is if you move on. TO give you some hope, they always come back. In my experience with guys I have been with, they have always wanted me back because I never let them know how much I was hurting, and I never called to find out how they were doing, I did nothing. As crazy as it sounds, it works. You just got to let them miss you. Again no contact whatsoever, including text messages. Make sure you remove any memories you guys have had together and put them away so you aren't reminded of him as much.

 

Be strong. When you think about calling him, call a friend, buy a book, go shopping. Just DO NOT CALL EVER! You can do it! Each day you don't call or contact him the easier it will get. I am doing it now, and each day gets a little big easier. remember no guy is worth your tears and the ones that are won't make you cry!

[Angelized]

Well it is hard for me to hang around my other friends, because I have no other friends, I've driven them away for him! Well I do have friends but they are guys & its not easy talking to a guy about your relationship problems.

 

I am getting a new girlfriend, she goes out with one of David (is my boyfriend) and I's bestfriend, the four of us hung out on Friday night.

 

The new girlfriend named Emily *not a real name* knew that I wanted to go back out with David, so she asked me some questions & then said she was going to get her boyfriend Harry to talk to David about it. I agreed.

 

The next day was Saturday, the four of us hung out again together, we went over to Davids house & David & Harry were playing a game inside, Emily & I went outside for freshair, & she told me what David had said... David had said that he still liked me & that he wanted to go back out with me, I asked her to honestly tell me the truth & she said Harry said it was the truth....

 

Later that night we all went to the movies, David & Emily & another guy went outside to have a ciggerate before the movie, it was just Harry & I, we started talking & he said that David truly does still love me & that he was going to deffinatly ask me back out tonight, I didn't believe him at first but he convinced me enought to believe him.

 

We went out clubbing/dancing that night & nothing had happened... I just waited for those sweet words to come out of david's mouth, but nothing came out... We saw some guy I fancied in one of the clubs & David told me to get together with him... I got confused from then, thinking if he was going to ask me out that night, why is he telling me to make a move on that guy I fancied.

 

The night went by & Today came... we were sitting having lunch, & I told him what Harry had told me, David said "HARRY that dickhead, he told me that YOU wanted to go back out with me, and that YOU really still loved me" I said "WHAT I never said that!" I asked him what he had told Harry, David said "I told him that I didn't want a serious relationship with her *which is me* right now or anyone else"

 

So I was so embaressed for believing our friend, I don't blame Harry though, cos he was trying to get us back together...

 

David said "I hate seeing you hurt like this, I'm going to tell Harry to butt out! If you want some time away from me, I understand, I'll give u time, but I still love you as a friend & I still want to be really good friends with you"

 

But the thing is I DONT WANT TIME AWAY FROM HIM! I can't do it! I always go back! I've tried! I really have!

 

I said to him "Please don't say anything, but hear me out... you know all the other times we tried to break up, I'd always say "well if we love eachother, why can't we still be together" and we'd get back together right? well maybe ur saying that you dont love me anymore so we both wouldnt have a reason to get back together anymore"

 

and he said "well people change... & I might have not changed who I am, but my feelings have changed"

 

I told him I wanted more than a friend... but not go out *that bit was to show that I didnt want to push it too much* so we are still NOTHING!

 

I am so guttered & upset, I don't know if I will ever get him back...

 

He says he will give me time... how will he miss me from knowning that I need space?

 

Nobody understands why I dont want anyone else... I just don't... even though he's hurt me so much, all the pain washes away but the love stays like a tonne of stones.

 

I have stopped contacting him, but I want things to do in the weekend, & we have the same friends, so whenever he's there I'm always there vic versa... When we go out to have lunch breaks, he's always there cos our friends are the same, I shouldn't have to move away from those friends and make new friends for him!

 

But if I'm always around, how am I meant to make him miss me to get him back?

 

Also in weekends, I have no1 else to hang around & neither does he, because we are both stuck to eachother that we're always spending our weekends together! when he asks me to go out to places with him I can never be strong enough to say NO! Please dnt tell me to be strong & say No cos wherever he invites me I'll always go... I can't help it!

 

Before I was writing this, I talked to him on MSN, & I told him I was going to let him go... & told him I still loved him so much & nothing will take that away from me... One thing I realised is that he's very scared of losing me as a friend.

 

What shall I do now guys? I can't stop being friends with him because I'm not strong enough to stay away from him, I don't know enough people to keep me entertained to have me away from him... & when I still am friends with him I am hurting myself thinking that there's still hope! But when things like this happen again, I don't think I'll be able to handle it anymore.

 

I know you all probably think, oh my god, get over it, he's never going to get back with you, well how can I try & change his feelings or try and give myself hope or do something to get him back!

 

Just one last thing, please dont tell me to get over it, cos i really can't and I'm being selfish I know, cos I really dont want to get over him, all I want is for him and I to be one again!

 

PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[julyapril_96]

[Alls I can tell you is to listen toevery one who tells you to bakc off. I know its hard, butif you push him hes just gonna pull away and resent you. Time will tell all, being completely away from him including mutual friends pics, the whole nine yards will help. Time will tell, who knows you may realize you mite not even want him anymore and you deserve some one whowants to be with you. Dont make the mistakes I did, I know how hard it is just back off and if he really loves you he will come back. The phrase, if you love something or someone let it free, if it comes back to you love it forever. TRUST ME

quote=Angelized] My ex boyfriend and went out for 10months, I've known him for over a year now, we've been broken up for 5 months...

 

Just before we broke up we had this silly argument about condoms, we were on the phone then he hung up on me, he unhooked the phone so I couldn't get through, I got my brother to drop me off at his house for awhile & so he did, my ex & I argued some more, he was yelling at me pushing me around telling me to "Get the F*&K out of his house" I didn't leave until he said he was going to call the cops for me tresspassing, I only went there to tell him that our argument was stupid & to apologise the way I've been acting, but I made matters worse...

 

Next day he didn't come into class (we do the same course together) It was a friday, I started texting him asking if our relationship was alright, he texted me back & said "No it wasn't, it's over!" I asked him why? & his reply was "I don't love you anymore" It really hit me, but I didn't want to believe in it... later I rang him & told him I would accept it & to forgive me for my attendance at his house last night, he accepted my apologie so we became friends from then on, I met up with him in the city & we both hung out with our friends until we went home...

 

The next day we went to a carnival together, we had a really good time, later that night he said I could stay at his house if I needed a place to stay, we went home & he told me to sleep on the floor, so I did, it felt really weird at first because I usually sleep in his bed, I whined at him at first saying I wouldn't touch him but he said no.

 

Since we go to the same school I see him every single day, my computer is next to his aswell & I can't move seats because all the other computers are taken. From today we still spend after school moments, lunch breaks & some of our weekends together, either together or with our friends.

 

A few weeks later I had a miscarriage, I was 7 weeks pregnant & I didn't know... I told one of our bestfriend about it, he went & told my ex when I specifically told him not to. One night while I was over at his house, I told him what had happened, he was a bit angry/upset because he wasn't the first to know, I cried asking him if he wanted to know how or why it happened, he said he was "OVER" it & that he doesn't want to know anyting about it. That really upseted me but i ignored it because I didn't want to argue with him anymore. He didn't even comfort me, I guess it's because he doesn't know how to. I have been feeling so numb, empty & guilty about all this, because the person I love has not comforted me & he just doesn't care anymore. I have lost two parts of him & sometimes I think that I can't handle life anymore.

 

I asked him why he doesn't love me anymore, & at first he said he didn't know why, then later he said after our fight, he just thought at the back of his head & realised that he just doesn't anymore & that he really truly DID love me. But if he DID love me, he wouldn't be able to turn his love off so easily like a tap... Sometimes I don't believe him when he says that he doesn't love me anymore, reason why is that all the other times when him or I wanted to break up with eachother because of silly reasons I would always say "but if we both love eachother, why can't we be together" & we would always get back together from those words because they were true... & I think he's just saying that he doesn't love me anymore because there is no reason for him or I to get back together & he has just accepted that our relationship is just not going to work out.

 

The first couple of days/weeks, he wouldn't let me touch him, & now he lets me touch his face, his hair, his arms, lets me sit on his lap sometimes, & he especially hugs me everytime we say goodbye. I just have to thank god that he doesn't totally hate me & pushing me away, although I sometimes wish he does, because it would let me get over him faster.

 

Since our break up I have become a better person, we haven't had silly little fights anymore, we've both been a lot happier about things, we both do a lot more & still be happy...

 

I still want another chance, I believe that we can still be together, I believe that our break up was for me to learn my lesson so I can become a better person... but what if it is for real? what if he really doesn't love me anymore?

 

I am trying to prove to him that we can still be together & that I have changed, but it might be too late, he might realise that being just friends is best for us & I would get no more chances, we both have the same friends in class aswell, if I break our friendship up, I'll lose them aswell & I'll have to be alone.

 

While we were breaking up, he once said to me that I should treat it like a long break, & that he just doesn't want to be with anyone right now, & when he does, it might be me again, or it might be some other girl, I'll just have to wait & find out, but I don't want to be waiting all this time & then see him become lovers with another girl, I think that would hurt me more.

 

What can I do to get him back? I want to write him a letter, but I want to know if it's too late or too soon to spill my heart out at him... I want to know if he will actually listen to my words in that letter, I want to know what to say to get him back... Maybe I am better off without him, but I don't want that, I just want us to be together... everyone says that we still act like we still go out... he still rings me up when he wants to go out to an event with me.

 

What can I do or say to get him back?! please help! Do you think I still have a chance?! Please help me someone.