You Want Them Back, But You're Too Afraid To.

[vertigoxo]

Okay, so I know a lot of people who have broken up with their exes and then they say, "I want them back, but I'm too afraid to go back to them because they have hurt me."

 

I have a female friend who still "wants" her ex girlfriend. Her ex girlfriend broke up with her for three reasons; One, she felt that my friend was too "clingy". Two, she wanted to go out with another guy. And finally three, my friend's ex girlfriend was trying to interfere with the relationship my friend and her recent ex shared together.

 

Soooo, what can I say to my friend about it? I have already told her that even if you were to persue someone who isn't your ex, you are still posing risks in getting your heart broken at some point. She agrees, but I still see some doubt in her eyes.

 

What would you do in her shoes? Has any of you gone through this before? Where your ex dumped you, or you dumped them but for some reason, you're too scared to ask them back out in fear of getting your heart broken all over again? Thanks.

[atelis]

if you are not prepared to risk being hurt, it really won't matter who you meet......whether its an ex or not, you simply won't be able to give or receive love. I don't think there is any more or less risk of being hurt in a new relationship than a relationship that has just broken up. If the two people who broke up are repared to work on their issues and fears then i suggest that the chances are much better with the ex.........but that's the key, people are not prepared to work hard enough. Pepple are more interested in taking the easy option which is finding a new relationship, and simply taking their unresolved fears to the next partner.

[che76]

Well said, atelis. Vertigoxo, especially when dealing with love and another person, risk is inevitable. It really just becomes more of an issue of known risks & benefits (with an ex-) vs. unknown risk & benefits (with new person). Also of note, many people tend to project a certain amount of presumption onto their next new person based off of their past experience too, which isn't fair to the new person, but happens. So matter of the heart are quite multifaceted and rarely offer a "sure thing" type of answer.