Drawn the line in the sand…

[Keyman]

Hi everyone,

 

It’s been a while since I provided an update to my saga…

 

Here is a very brief account of what happened to date…

Got together in November, things were great, but arguing too much. She an independent type, me an interdependent type (a bad match by the way)

Broke up in late Jan (her decision).

She came crawling back in week before Valentine’s. I’d started dating someone else. Slept with her on Valentine’s, admitted to have dated someone, world war three erupted. A couple of weeks of LC, then went on a date with her and she broke up with me again…

 

I figured it was over. Was relieved and happy about it, got on with life, started dating other women. Was very happy, life going well… then…

 

5 weeks ago, she came crawling back again.

My friends had told me not to take her back, but she pleaded her case, and as I had not lost feelings for her, I took her back. Things were great after that, although we were going to take it slowly, meaning no sex for a while and in her words “she wanted to start again as if we had just met” including setting up a first meeting. This was all weird for me, but I went along with it, as I was enjoying the closeness and build up to it.

 

Then, at the beginning of last week, I got sick and stopped in at her place on the way home from work for a bit of nurturing – she isn’t currently employed – and she was stressing over something. We argued and can you guess? She broke up with me again.

 

I’m relieved again. This will be the last time I take her back. And while I have said that before, and my friends remind me of that at every opportunity, I don’t want to put up with her crap any more.

 

The truth be told, everything had to be done her way. Now, I have been in several long relationships – of 5 years each – and all of her relationships have been short term and they have cheated on her, or just wanted her for sex. Yet she had to be the one that called the shots on how the relationship went. I can understand that she has gotten herself into some bad situations before and I wont go into detail, but they had been brutal and damaging, and I’m not sure if she has ever recovered. But things must be done her way. When someone takes too much of the lead in a relationship, I tend to just go with the flow. If my suggestions aren’t merited, then I don’t bother making any.

 

I have to say I am in such a better place since she left this time. I am clearer on where I am in my life. I haven’t started dating again, I honestly don’t feel the need. I’ve set up my passions and my goals and I am just damn happy with life! I’ve even determined that my current role at work isn’t what I want to do, so I am in the process of resigning to do something that I like better. You have to be happy in your life or what’s the point. Honestly, I was not happy with her, and now I am very happy without her. I’m not happy in my job, so I’m going back to one I was happy in.

 

So this is my last post on the getting back together subject with this girl. Again, I know you’ve heard it all before, but I have a plan in place if she calls, if she turns up at my place or if we run in to each other in the street. There will be no going back. Ever. I’m not bitter, I’m not angry, I’m just happier now without her in my life.

 

Thanks everyone for listening!

[insecurefool]

Hey man this sounds similar to a situation I have had. Just wanted to say stay strong, the fact that you did everything she wanted (which did sound like a good plan, with the whole "starting over" thing) and yet she still blew up means her personality problems don't have anything to do with you. Sometimes that's been the hardest part from me, dealing with my ex and thinking I had caused so much of the problems. But sometimes, certain personality types draw that kind of self-blame out of ya. Good luck.