AlwayzRight Posted April 25, 2009 Author Share Posted April 25, 2009 You guys are all so right...I just cant let this girl go though...its killing me....I think she is the one and I have TRIED move on but for some reason I cant. I cant even meet any women to even take my mid off of this chick. I hate working overnights stuck in a world that seems I CAN NOT GET OUT OF. Its seems like NOTHING will ever change. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 Pandaman I appreciate the advice. But shouldnt one fight at all for the person that they love if they are given a chance...no matter how slim it is???????? If I do nothing, not even try at all. I feel I may regret it for the rest of my life. Would you regret it if you got back together, it gets intense, it burns out quickly the second time, and she dumps you again? This happened to a male friend of in a similar situation. She left for someone else, the new guy dumped her, she went back to my friend but her feelings were never the same. It would be nice for it to work out for you, but just know that you cannot ever get back what you had. Ideally, you can build something new. In building something new, it must be a brand new relationship. The prevailing advice to develop new relationships is to take it slow, maintain your life, get to know each other, and have fun together. When you say you are willing to 'fight for her,' I'm a little concerned about the longevity of that venture. Yes you can go all out and perhaps (big maybe) win her back, but you can't be 'that guy' forever. You need to be who you are. Why not give her (and you) time to heal and then openly revisit the idea of being with her again in the future in a calm conversation? Why not take it slow and envision a brand new start? There is nothing to regret about that. Best of luck. Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted April 28, 2009 Author Share Posted April 28, 2009 So I call her on Sunday since she told me to call her in a couple days(on Thurs) to set up something to grab some lunch this week. I knwe she was working and left a message on her phone saying something about setting up something on Tuesday or Thursday if she was free and said that she could call me back on her lunch or when she gor off...I literally lost my voice COMPLETELY when I woke up sunday so I didnt know if she even understood my message because of my voice. Literally my voice is completely gone and noone can understand me when I try to talk. Anyways, she didnt call me back and I sent her a text about two hours after she got off work just asking if she could even understand my message because of my lost voice. she replied with "go away" for some stange reason and I replied with "What, is something wrong?" and didnt get a response....... * * * ????????...I am SOOOOOOOOO confused........Any idea why she would do that???????????? Link to comment
Pandaman211 Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Look man, shes not seriously. She'll flake out eventually. And seriously, I know you're panicky and not sure what to do, but really man leave her alone. You're acting way too needy and annoying in her eyes I bet, you left a VM you don't have to text her afterwards. I'm telling you, from experience, there are so many issues and problems with this relationship, and I think it stems from both of you, but it seems she more than you. She is just too unstable. Any of us can keep advising you, but its pointless. Nothing against you, but when a lot of people in the midst of emotional turmoil or whatnot, they are in their own little bubble, and usually will read and acknowledge the info given, but never act on it. They are too caught up in their ex and what to do and not to do that they don't realize half the things their ex (or your ex in this case) is doing is probably just selfish and COULD be using you when they need you. It happens to all of us. Happened to me. Finally, I basically got kicked in the nuts and woke up. I hope that you finally realize down the road that this girl is not worth your time. The sooner, the better. The longer it goes, the rougher its going to get, whether this roller coaster ride, or the after effects of a possible broken relationship. Good luck man. If you continue to pursue this, I will tell you one thing, something I told you in your last thread: Stop nagging her, leave her alone, its seriously annoying from her or anyone in that situation's perspective, if you call her, DONT text her right after. If you text her with something, don't call her right after, thats common sense annoying. We don't realize it when we do it because we remember the things they said to us and we to them, and we act as if it is clear and fresh in their minds as it is in ours, but it ultimately will dwindle your chances. Link to comment
inspectahpecks Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 I should imagine that she's probably back with her boyfriend, and he's asked her to cease contact with you. So that just goes to show you were you stand. Cut her out of your life, move on, and claim your self respect back. Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted April 29, 2009 Author Share Posted April 29, 2009 I should imagine that she's probably back with her boyfriend, and he's asked her to cease contact with you. So that just goes to show you were you stand. Cut her out of your life, move on, and claim your self respect back. You are probably right..but you would think she would at least have the deciency to tell me this instead of inviting me to do soemthing with her and then when I respond ot set something up I get a simple "go away' text. It amazes me how she can seem like a Jekyl and Hyde at any moment. It actually makes me angry becasue it was rude. I swear I am starting to believe that 90% of all woman are psycho. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Couldn't agree more with all the posts above. You had come a long way. You need to keep on moving. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 I swear I am starting to believe that 90% of all woman are psycho. Excuse me!!!! lol I think it works both ways! Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted May 1, 2009 Author Share Posted May 1, 2009 UPDATE...SO ANYWAYS...since I was mad at getting blown off by her "go away" text out of nowhere after I contacted her to set up the lunch... I sent her a text last night saying that the guy she is with is crap (He is she told me for about a half hour) and if ya wanted to grab some lunch why the BS? She responded with dont ever call her, text her, go away, go find someone else...to which I responded with I was just giving you some advice from a blunt friend...she then said she was going to change her number if I kept bothering her, I just responded with goodnight...guess what, her friend told me she changed her number today....WOW.....PHYSCO......when she needs a shoulder to cry on she will contact me and even though I was nice back and accepted her invitation she craps on me again...now I guess I was bothering her by trying to set up the invite like she TOLD me to do...and then she changes her phone number...UNREAL...100% PSHYCO. Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted May 2, 2009 Author Share Posted May 2, 2009 Why do people just seem to play with peoples thoughts and emotions and than not even CARE that they are doing it? Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted May 17, 2009 Author Share Posted May 17, 2009 UPDATE...so I get a text last night from I suppose her new number that says... "Hi, its ....Wow, I have no doubt in my mind that you do not want to talk to me. You were really decent to me and I was horrible. I'm writing to say I am sorry for the bad way I treated you. I am sorry you didn't deserve that after being so decent to me. I hope you can sometime forgive me." soo ENA....thoughts? opinions? What the hell does this mean? I can't believe she contacted me 2 weeks after she changed her freaking number. Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Don't play, the table is rigged. The only way to win (and in these cases "winning" means healing as quickly as possible and getting on with a happier life) is utter silence forever. The way she turns on a dime says some important things about her, most important being that she has no respect for you at all and will continue this pattern as long as you allow it. Please seek out better options. Best wishes. Link to comment
uhohlala Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Please don't reply to her. Just re-read this thread! This girl is a nut-job; she is seriously lacking in the self-awareness department. Whether she's just strangely immature as yet, or has some deeper psychological issues, she does not seem to be able to maintain reasonable consistency in how she interacts with people -- extreme hot and cold is a sign of instability. Nor does she acknowledge/remember/accept responsibility for things that she does -- as you've pointed out she got in touch with you ... and then conveniently seemed to forget that! Nice that she's apologizing now, I guess, but that didn't help you in the moment. You got treated to a couple of weeks of ugly, unfair melodrama. Ummm ... why would you be interested in maintaining a connection to someone who does that? She went to the trouble of changing her phone number because you sent her a handful of harmless texts after she initiated contact with you. Hello, Drama Queen! Yikes. This girl is not only a losing proposition, but actually a loser. Plain and simple, a loser. You should lose her! (hee hee) Maybe you should change your phone number. If you do decide to ignore her forever (and I really hope you will), don't expect her to respect your boundaries. She's paying lip service right now to the idea that what she did was inexcusable -- but she clearly expects to be forgiven. I wouldn't be surprised if she's quite persistent about getting a response from you right now. But trust me: the minute she's assured that you're still in her gravitational pull, she'll have no problem giving you the cold shoulder again. DON'T REPLY!!! Link to comment
diamond78 Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 UPDATE...so I get a text last night from I suppose her new number that says... "Hi, its ....Wow, I have no doubt in my mind that you do not want to talk to me. You were really decent to me and I was horrible. I'm writing to say I am sorry for the bad way I treated you. I am sorry you didn't deserve that after being so decent to me. I hope you can sometime forgive me." soo ENA....thoughts? opinions? What the hell does this mean? I can't believe she contacted me 2 weeks after she changed her freaking number. Honestly, the curiosity in me would be dying to ask her why she suddenly flipped the script on you by being so rude and nasty for no reason. However, the sensible side of me would not reply as she clearly over-stepped the boundaries of respect, especially when you had been so kind and open to her. I wonder if she was starting to talk to her ex-bf when she went off on you, and now maybe they are on the fritz again and she wants to test the waters once more with you. One thing is certain, she's not someone I could trust.....be careful with this one. Link to comment
Cnstnt Evolutn Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 silence speaks volumes....dont do anything. If you wanted to be spiteful you could respond with the same crap she spit at you, with changing your number and to find someone else hehe. but if it were me i just wouldnt answer, or jus give a simple "whatever, see you around" or something like that... Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 Any more ideas on what this may mean? What is she talking about? To everyone who has responded to this thread ....THANK YOU! Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 Honestly, the curiosity in me would be dying to ask her why she suddenly flipped the script on you by being so rude and nasty for no reason. However, the sensible side of me would not reply as she clearly over-stepped the boundaries of respect, especially when you had been so kind and open to her. I wonder if she was starting to talk to her ex-bf when she went off on you, and now maybe they are on the fritz again and she wants to test the waters once more with you. One thing is certain, she's not someone I could trust.....be careful with this one. Yep ...the curiosity is starting to get to me. Link to comment
thedude27 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 She is rebounding, I dont think there is really much more to it than that. you probably said that at a bad time (like she just got back or got re-dumped by the ex). I'd ask her if it will take 1 second or 2 for her to treat you like trash the next time she has someone else in her life. I think you are insane if you have any notion of letting this person back into your life at this point. Maybe if she acted like a human being for a couple years I might entertain the idea. Friends is about as far as I'd go and since you are still in love I think its a real bad idea. Do you really want to be dumped again the first time she sees someone else or the new ex comes back? If she's sooooo sorry(again), prove it with actions. Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 I feel like I should somehow respnd to this. Although I do not exactly know what or understand why she sent this. What would be a way to respond to something like this?....and yes I know alot of people will say I shouldnt respond but I feel like I should..... Link to comment
brokenheart311 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 I feel like I should somehow respnd to this. Although I do not exactly know what or understand why she sent this. What would be a way to respond to something like this?....and yes I know alot of people will say I shouldnt respond but I feel like I should..... Do not, I repeat do not respond to her latest offering of crap. If you don't reply i'm sure she'll be sending you another text or even callling you within a week seeking your forgiveness. forgiveness for her rudeness, not forgiveness for breaking up. If you do call or text back she will see that she still has ultimate power over you and will treat you like crap again really soon, it's her obvious pattern from what you have been posting here. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Don't respond to her. She's a sociopath. I would know, I have an ex just like that. Sociopath- A person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. - One who is affected with a personality disorder marked by antisocial behavior. - Someone whose social behavior is extremely abnormal. Sociopaths are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others. Rings a bell? Link to comment
DaveTrump Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Look she has had her fun with this other guy and it didn't go to plan for her. So only now is she having to deal with not only losing him but the backlash of the way she ended it with you. There's double heartbreak going on through her. She must be in a right mess. You should just steer clear of her for a while. Give her time to really absorb what she did to you as this other guy was obviously a distraction when things were peachy. She wasn't thinking of you then, was she? Time for her to smell the roses and grow up! She cant do that when you're there for her to absorb her guilt issues. Go no contact and get out there and have some fun. Link to comment
AlwayzRight Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Don't respond to her. She's a sociopath. I would know, I have an ex just like that. Sociopath- A person, as a psychopathic personality, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. - One who is affected with a personality disorder marked by antisocial behavior. - Someone whose social behavior is extremely abnormal. Sociopaths are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others. Rings a bell? No she is not a sociopath...although POST breakup I have seen these qualities....she is not antisocial AT ALL, but has been to me again, post breakup...Its almost like she again not happy with her situation and now she wants to talk to me. We were best friends as well for 3.5 and would literally talk about things that we would never talk to our friends and family about. I know she doesnt have many friends to talk about certain things going on with her. She changed her number but she could have sent me this via email instead of actually doing this with her new number. Why would che change her number and then literally two weeks later try and contact me again with her new number? Everyone, I do still love this girl. Though this recent fiasco has been very shady. It has been a little over 7 months since she broke up with me and I feel like I have healed alot and I can only assume her recent relationship has gone to complete crap.... I feel like I need to respond...somehow people.....I still love this girl...and yes she is a little crazy...I know. Do I ask her why she is trying to contact me? Do I tell her if she wants to talk to me she should call me?.......sometimes I wonder why I am such a good person. Link to comment
NextTime Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 My vote is don't reply. But I think you will anyway, so if you are going to reply just say "thank you for the apology." Nothin more, nothing less. She wrote to apologize. She didn't say anything about wanting to talk to you or see you or get back together. Just say thanks and see what she does next would be my advice. Good luck. Link to comment
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