StreetlightM Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 I find jealousy to be disgusting but I'm a victim of it, unfortunately. Its hard to not feel some sense of attachment to someone you have sex with. Like, my ex, and the guy I had feelings for. I find it really difficult not to be angry with one of my friends because a guy I liked likes her. . .i suppose its "not my fault" as he's told me, because I am seven years younger than him. But it did not stop us from being attracted to each other, and we've had a very close relationship as friends, I don't know, I guess I could just see us being something more and he does not because it is "morally wrong" to date someone my age. But then there's the sinking feeling - he's tried to go out with other girls my age, but "felt wrong about it", we've fooled around, drunk and sober, and it was recent. It was monday. Then monday night, another girl decides she has a crush on him, and okay, this may be a really childish thing on my part that shows my age, but he moved me down on his top, replaced me with her. Now I'm sorry if I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel 1. hurt, 2. disposable. He said he felt bad about it, he really cared about me, but I don't want to feel this way. I have two choices of behavior now, now I can either continue being a supportive best friend, (as if to say, see? us fooling around changed nothing,we can still be friends who see each other) or I can give him a cold shoulder for replacing me. Either way, I lose with him, I can never date him because of the age gap, which sucks because I really really like him. So instead, I'm just going to have to deal with the jealousy and want. . . Link to comment
StreetlightM Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 seventeen. Doubt I seem it. That whole post screamed, "I'm a vulnerable child" But, I will gain maturity with time and experience, and i can't rush that. Link to comment
StreetlightM Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 ADD: Perhaps I'll just get over it quicker than I thought. Whatever, it's not a huge loss. Link to comment
keenan Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 No, I just ask because it sounds like he's using you, and I'm sorry about that. So he's 24, you're 17. Listen, never feel badly about forming an attachment to somebody you have sex with. That's what happens with sex...at least for most women, most of the time. Also, jealousy is normal as long as it's not carried too far. BUT...forming an attachment doesn't mean that a particular guy is good for you. Honestly, he sounds like an immature fool who likes being with very young women because they won't demand much from him in return. Women his own age are beginning to look for a commitment, and maybe marriage, so he hangs out with girls who won't ask these things of him. He has sex with you, which is apparently fine, but then claims that to be in a relationship with you would be wrong. Huh? I think he has it backwards. Even if you're just looking for fun, you don't want to be with a guy who regards women (especially YOU) as disposable. You aren't a tissue that can be used once and tossed away. Link to comment
StreetlightM Posted April 17, 2009 Author Share Posted April 17, 2009 Thank you keenan, that was a very thoughtful and helpful post. Reading it, I certainly agree. Even though he is a very "good" person, it doesn't mean he's good for me. Thank you. Link to comment
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