Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 I don't know about you, but I'd rather be alone than know that i settled for someone when I didn't think we were a good match I know. Most of the time I would agree. This time I'm not sure. I was definitely more besotted with him at first, th inking that we would click more as we got to know each other. Sigh. It's so frustrating. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 That's the gut telling you not to proceed. In situations like this it never lies. You would be best served to follow it. So: do you think it would be cruel to give it a few more dates to see if I could spark something? I don't want to be mean, and he is falling for me. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I know. Most of the time I would agree. This time I'm not sure. I was definitely more besotted with him at first, th inking that we would click more as we got to know each other. Sigh. It's so frustrating. Don't make any quick decisions. Think it out rationally and carefully. Link to comment
jul-els Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 So: do you think it would be cruel to give it a few more dates to see if I could spark something? I don't want to be mean, and he is falling for me. Only you know for sure, but from what I hear you saying I don't get the impression that it's going to pan out, to be honest. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 hi HP, How long have you been going out with this guy? a month? 2 months? I ask this because I am surprised he said that he is falling hard for you. Anyway, to answer your main question - looks like you guys are attracted to each other but its just that you don't connect to him on a mental level. especially so because he doesn't make you laugh. I would ask you to give him to some more time... more time for him to open up to you and be more conversant. Do you think he needs to open up OR he has already and this is all he has got? G Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 hi HP, How long have you been going out with this guy? a month? 2 months? I ask this because I am surprised he said that he is falling hard for you. Why not? I am very loveable, I'll have you know! We've been seeing each other for about 2 1/2 months??? See, I can't even remember how long it's been, that's bad, right? Anyway, to answer your main question - looks like you guys are attracted to each other but its just that you don't connect to him on a mental level. especially so because he doesn't make you laugh. I would ask you to give him to some more time... more time for him to open up to you and be more conversant. Do you think he needs to open up OR he has already and this is all he has got? I just think the longer I give it, the more I'm leading him on. I'm very confused. I have never in my life *wanted* to fall in love with someone as much, but it just won't happen. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 Only you know for sure, but from what I hear you saying I don't get the impression that it's going to pan out, to be honest. I get that feeling too. I am going to give it one last shot, and be full-on me, lol. I think I'm going to regret my decision such a lot though. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Why not? I am very loveable, I'll have you know! We've been seeing each other for about 2 1/2 months??? See, I can't even remember how long it's been, that's bad, right? haha.. of course you are loveable. I was surprised because guys usually don't *tell* that they are falling hard for a girl. they just *show* through their actions. I just think the longer I give it, the more I'm leading him on. I'm very confused. I have never in my life *wanted* to fall in love with someone as much, but it just won't happen. wow, 2.5 months is quite some time... I understand the difficult spot you are in. Spending more time with him without the intention of getting into a relationship does look like leading on, especially when he has already told you that he is falling hard for you (i am not trying to make you feel bad). I am sorry, but I would have to say that you need to let him go. Its been 2.5 months and if you *feel* that there is no connection on some level (in this case mental) then what other choice do you have? Link to comment
jul-els Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I get that feeling too. I am going to give it one last shot, and be full-on me, lol. I think I'm going to regret my decision such a lot though. Don't feel bad, I've been there too. Happens to the best of us but ultimately we deserve to be happy. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 i noticed one thing in your first post. take out 'desperately' wanting to make it work. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 i noticed one thing in your first post. take out 'desperately' wanting to make it work. Why? I do desperately want it to work, to be honest. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Why? I do desperately want it to work, to be honest. That's a problem. Don't you think HP? If you *desperately* want it to work then it is apparent that something that is crucial is missing... and you want it to be there.. Its not there and you want it to be there. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Have you tried talking to him about stuff he's interested in to see if that gets him talking? Also, are you planning on dumping him outright saying that he's torture to talk to, or are you going to bring up this concern with him before you dump him to see if he puts any effort into making corrective actions? Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 Have you tried talking to him about stuff he's interested in to see if that gets him talking? Also, are you planning on dumping him outright saying that he's torture to talk to, or are you going to bring up this concern with him before you dump him to see if he puts any effort into making corrective actions? Yes, I have talked to him about his interests extensively. No, I do not intend to criticise him about this. I do not think it's about him changing, it's about me trying to make a connection with him. There is nothing wrong with him, he's lovely and fantastic. He's not torture to talk to, either. I am sorry you think that's what I'm saying, but no, he is a lovely lovely man. I want to fall for him. If I do decide to end it, I will do it by telling him that I just don't feel the 'spark' between us. It's not up to him to make corrective actions, as you call it! Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 That's a problem. Don't you think HP? If you *desperately* want it to work then it is apparent that something that is crucial is missing... and you want it to be there.. Its not there and you want it to be there. Well, yes, I know it's a problem. That's why I made a thread about it. I don't think I'm going to meet a better guy. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Well, yes, I know it's a problem. That's why I made a thread about it. I don't think I'm going to meet a better guy. no, the problem is being desperate. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 no, the problem is being desperate. You mean relax around him? I am pretty relaxed, I think. I just feel now that I'm being mean to carry on seeing him if I don't return his feelings. So I'm feeling kind of bleurgh about it all. Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I want to fall for him. HP this is very crucial, at least IMO. He has already told you that he is falling hard for you. While you want to fall for him. That's a disparity right there.... In 2.5 months if you are unable to fall for him I doubt if you can in the future. There is nothing wrong on your side, nothing on his side. Some times that's just the way the cookie crumbles.. I guess you got to let him go Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 HP this is very crucial, at least IMO. He has already told you that he is falling hard for you. While you want to fall for him. That's a disparity right there.... In 2.5 months if you are unable to fall for him I doubt if you can in the future. There is nothing wrong on your side, nothing on his side. Some times that's just the way the cookie crumbles.. I guess you got to let him go Maybe. I'm going to give it a good go first though. Could try the old tried and tested method of getting blind drunk. Hey, I'm British....;-) Although that would just result in sex. Dammit. Link to comment
DaBladeRoden Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Don't need to talk much during that though Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 Don't need to talk much during that though Yeah, but it would be wrong I think. If he's falling for me, and I'm not sure, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't sleep with him.... Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Maybe. I'm going to give it a good go first though. Could try the old tried and tested method of getting blind drunk. Hey, I'm British....;-) Although that would just result in sex. Dammit. yup, you could just treat him to fish and chips and tea instead of drinks and if he still doesn't talk just say bollocks ;-) Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 yup, you could just treat him to fish and chips and tea instead of drinks and if he still doesn't talk just say bollocks ;-) Lol - no. I am going to give it another week. And I'm going to get drunk. And not sleep with him. There you go, I have a plan Link to comment
grymoire Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Lol - no. I am going to give it another week. And I'm going to get drunk. And not sleep with him. There you go, I have a plan Hopefully the man will talk in a drunken stupor Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 Hopefully the man will talk in a drunken stupor Always worth seeing what happens. Link to comment
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