spainman_88 Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 So I just sent her a brief not saying hi, asking about her weekend, saying i'd be up for meeting up and making a joke about this neighborhood/area.... I tried to be a little funny but not offensive (Ammy, I think she's more like how you've desribed yourself in terms of reaction). We'll see if it works...hope so! Well, its been another day since I sent this 'follow up' to our first email exchange. No reply yet....I know it still may be early, but I'm feeling like I might not hear. And she had seemed to express a lot of interest in keeping in touch. I dont get it! What's with the losing interest??? I know I've asked this before, and I know there's no answer...I just get more frustrated each time! She was one of two girls I was in email contact with recently, and the other hasn't responded in 4 days either, even though in HER last email to me she (girl 2) suggested meeting up. If there's no interest really, why continue communication at first?? Link to comment
spainman_88 Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 So I just sent her a brief not saying hi, asking about her weekend, saying i'd be up for meeting up and making a joke about this neighborhood/area.... I tried to be a little funny but not offensive (Ammy, I think she's more like how you've desribed yourself in terms of reaction). We'll see if it works...hope so! Well, its been another day since I sent this 'follow up' to our first email exchange. No reply yet....I know it still may be early, but I'm feeling like I might not hear. And she had seemed to express a lot of interest in keeping in touch. I dont get it! What's with the losing interest??? I know I've asked this before, and I know there's no answer...I just get more frustrated each time! She was one of two girls I was in email contact with recently, and the other hasn't responded in 4 days either, even though in HER last email to me she (girl 2) suggested meeting up. If there's no interest really, why continue communication at first?? Link to comment
Dubb Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Well, its been another day since I sent this 'follow up' to our first email exchange. No reply yet....I know it still may be early, but I'm feeling like I might not hear. And she had seemed to express a lot of interest in keeping in touch. I dont get it! What's with the losing interest??? I know I've asked this before, and I know there's no answer...I just get more frustrated each time! She was one of two girls I was in email contact with recently, and the other hasn't responded in 4 days either, even though in HER last email to me she (girl 2) suggested meeting up. If there's no interest really, why continue communication at first?? I think it's just the nature of things man. That's why I suggested the message I did. To an extent these people seem almost childish. It calls them on their behavior. Keep with it man. Link to comment
Dubb Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Well, its been another day since I sent this 'follow up' to our first email exchange. No reply yet....I know it still may be early, but I'm feeling like I might not hear. And she had seemed to express a lot of interest in keeping in touch. I dont get it! What's with the losing interest??? I know I've asked this before, and I know there's no answer...I just get more frustrated each time! She was one of two girls I was in email contact with recently, and the other hasn't responded in 4 days either, even though in HER last email to me she (girl 2) suggested meeting up. If there's no interest really, why continue communication at first?? I think it's just the nature of things man. That's why I suggested the message I did. To an extent these people seem almost childish. It calls them on their behavior. Keep with it man. Link to comment
spainman_88 Posted April 22, 2009 Author Share Posted April 22, 2009 well yeah, now its been a couple weeks and still no additional response from this particular girl. I emailed her once more, as posted above, and nothing. Weird thing is she is active on the dating site every day, so I would think she is still looking. Also a couple days ago she viewed my profile again, which seems strange in that she now hasn´t responded to 2 emails. To recap: I initiate. She responds, says she wants to hear more, etc. I respond, answer her Qs and ask some. Nothing back from her. Frustrating! She displayed interest already and is still actively looking so I don´t get the lack of responses.... And why do these become such a pattern? I don´t imagine I screw up THAT much in simple email conversation, especially if its only a couple emails. There are 2 other girls I've emailed and hope to hear back from at some point...this gets really discouraging! For ppl who use dating sites...do you all go through many, many people before finding something that works for more than 1-2 dates? Is it normal to have back and forth contact or 1 date with 15-20 people and not have anything develop? Also, how many potential dates do you tend to be in communication with at once via sites? I want to see if theres any way to improve my chances... Link to comment
FloatingAnchor Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I don't get why she's looking at your profile. If she is talking to another guy and is more interested in him, then she shouldn't be viewing your profile (knowing that you can see her activity) because that seems to be giving you false hope, IMO. Could be that she's waiting for a date from another guy and will decide whether to re-start communication with you after she sees how that one plays out. To answer your question, I think it's usual for contact to just drop off suddenly, especially from the girls because they're the ones getting approached and therefore are in a position to choose. I suggest you keep looking for possibilities, keep sending messages, and forget about this girl if she can't reply to a message in a week. She may come back later. It'll be interesting to see what excuse she gives. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 i'd forget about her. if she goes that long without contacting you, and she has been active on the dating site, then she's just not that interested in you. i would move on and continue to meet other women. sorry! Link to comment
spainman_88 Posted May 9, 2009 Author Share Posted May 9, 2009 So I did actually hear from her again (the girl from this thread) with the following message after about 2 weeks of nothing: "You're probably surprised to see an email from me (*embarrassed blush). I know a lot of time has passed since your last email. I feel horrible that I didn't respond. But to be honest, I had just experienced a bad ___online date and had lost ambition to do it again. Maybe you can relate? Anyway, I was/am interested in you still, but wasn't sure about emailing since so much time has passed. I'd love to get to know you better. I really like that you are outdoorsy and live in___. However, I'm not one to meet in person before talking on the phone. What do you think...that is if you're still interested?" So I figured, plausible explanation, emailed her back saying I was still interested in getting to know her, joking a little bit, send me your number and we can talk. She responded thanking me for writing back, included her # and said to give a call and plan to talk on the phone. On Monday evening I called her, we talked for about 45 minutes, good conversation, no awkwardness, and although i didnt ask her out for a specific date at the end of the conversation, I said we'd talk again soon and make plans to get together. She responded that "sounds good." I called her 2 days later, left a message saying it was good to talk the other night, and suggested getting together this weekend for a drink or a walk outside if its nice out, give me a call back. Now its been a few days since that message I left for her, and once again, no response! She clearly must have been interested to contact me again and say she was still interested, but now no call back. I dont get it! Is it me, or is she not sending clear signals? And we havent even met yet... Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 if she doesn't contact you within the next few days, i'd chalk her up to being wishy-washy and move on. Link to comment
spainman_88 Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 What I don't get with her is why would she go out of her way to re-contact me after not replying and say "I'm definitely still interested in you" and then not return a phone call after we talked for almost an hour? Interested, or not? Should I call her once more? When? Link to comment
Dubb Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 No, don't call her. She's acting weird. I would not keep pushing. Link to comment
spainman_88 Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 Why would she go out of her way to email me again after not being in touch, and specifically say "I am still interested in you..." She easily could have not emailed again, but she did and then we talked for a while. I don't get why now she's dropped the ball. I was thinking one more call to give it a shot, but not sure yet. ANy other opinions? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 my take is you should not. if she is as interested in you as she says she is, then she will show you with her actions, not just her words (as in - she's actually call you when she says she will!!!) some people are flakes, some people like to play games, other people just don't care. i would move on from this one, honestly. don't let her mess with your head anymore. Link to comment
spainman_88 Posted May 11, 2009 Author Share Posted May 11, 2009 my take is you should not. if she is as interested in you as she says she is, then she will show you with her actions, not just her words (as in - she's actually call you when she says she will!!!) some people are flakes, some people like to play games, other people just don't care. i would move on from this one, honestly. don't let her mess with your head anymore. Yeah this sounds reasonable.....thing is if she wasnt interested, why say so? Also, i know SOME people play games, some are flakes, etc...but why so many??!?!?! This is at least the 5th person in a couple months something like this has happened with. If they're not intereested in the first place, why contact me online? What can I do to avoid EVERYONE from losing interest? Its sooo frustrating! Link to comment
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