Do girls get turned off if you tell them you have depression

[heviheart]

Hi,

 

I have a long term depression illness that mostly makes me feel down. I am worried this might affect whether or not girls will like me or not. I always like to be friendly with people, but I get periods when I am down and I am hoping I can control it enough so that it doesn't make me a drag to be around.

 

What I would like to know is does telling a girl you have depression right at the start make them want to run a mile from you? Should I try to let her get to know me for a while first before telling her? Can girls put up with depressed guys?

 

Thanks

[The Morrigan]

I'm gonna go at this backwards...

 

I don't think it's something you'd have to tell her on a first date - hell, you might not want to take her on a second one after being around her if it's someone you haven't spent a lot of time with before or vice versa, and if you don't hit it off, well, no need to get into more personal things. However, when you get to the point you know you want an exclusive relationship and have that conversation, then I think would be the time to tell her. I'm not sure how old you are - some girls may have second thoughts - but in all honesty, any one who would run at that point isn't someone who would be of any support to you, and whose reactions might make you feel worse when it hits, so you're better off being open about it at that point.

 

You don't have to be dramatic about it, just tell her like you said here, and if she has any questions, to ask. A girl who is really into you and cares about you is likely to want to know what the score is and want to be able to help, not run - and that's really what you should want for yourself. You don't want to end up feeling you have to hide it like a guilty secret. If you really liked a girl enough to want her as a girlfriend, would you be put off by her telling you she was diabetic? You might know some guys who would - and wouldn't think much of them for it either, and the same goes here.

 

Yeah, it can make things tougher in a relationship - but it's better to find out upfront if it's something that she can handle than to be IN one and have her bail on you the first time you get really down and make you feel even worse. A girl worth being in a relationship with isn't going to be put off so easily.

[woobiegirl]

Hello

 

I agree with Morrigan. I don't feel you should advertise on a Billboard your personal issues. This is something that when you feel your ready to share you will. Depression comes in many shapes and sizes. and today with modern medicine, they have new medication that can help. I hope you are seeing a professional. I also believe we all get bouts of depression at one time or another. I do think that if you told someone new you had depression, it might give it an awackward start. You can beat this with support and sound medicial advice. Many people have won out over depression, and you will too.

 

Take Care

 

Woobiegirl

 

[POAS]

Most girls wouldn't mind, but there's no need to tell them right away. Many girls might be able to spot the problem themselves and ask you about it on one of your down days, and, if she doesn't run off, she likes you for you depression and all. It's even better if she can relate to your depression issues or any others, that way you two have things in common you can talk about together and not feel stripped and hung out to dry.

If you think about it, any girl who does run away from the issue was more than likely not the one for you. As they say, they're are plenty of fish in the sea, unless you're allergic.

I don't want to make this long and drawn out but my boyfriend, Alex, is self-conscious about some of his issues spanning from possible Hyperthyroidism to depression, of course I don't understand why. I accept him for him, his miscellaneous conditions only make me want to spend more time with him.

 

Well anyway, I hope that helps!

[heviheart]

Thankyou for your comments. I think then what your are saying is the best way forward is to just be myself at first and see if a girl likes me for who I am. Then later if she does I can tell her my problem and see how she reacts. That makes sense to me, thanks for helping me to get things straight in my mind.

[POAS]

Anytime and Good Luck!!

[SunnyScott]

I don't mind if a guy is depressed. it's not a turn off. in fact, i relate more with guys who are depressed because atleast they are more understanding.

 

it makes me feel at comfortable because i get to share my depression with them.

[heviheart]

Thanks to all the girls and women who replied. Men just could not answer this.

 

Its been encouraging reading your views