Should I be Worried..(Rather Long)

[dasilver]

Hi my fellow enotaloners, please help my best friend Alicia with her situation. I've given her the best advice i can but she wants some more opinions. She doesn't have an account on here so i am writing this for her. Thanks

 

Hi all, my name is Alicia and i started dating my boyfriend Darren last November. We had previously dated back in 2006 but i wasn't really ready for a serious relationship back then so we broke up. Last November we ran into each other at a mutual friends birthday, found out that there was still some attraction there and started dating again. At the time Darren had been dating a girl from work for a month but he ended it with her to give it a go again with me. For 2 months everything was going fine.

 

Two weeks after Valentine's day he confessed to me that he had called her to wish her a happy valentine....they started flirting over text messages and one day he went to see her at her place. Things got really hot and heavy. He said that they put a stop before things went to far. They agreed is wasn't a good idea that they see each other anymore.Of course i was upset, he apologized and said it was supposed to be an honest lunch that turned into something physical. He seemed really sorry so we settled. Another month goes by and everything seems to be fine and back to normal.

 

Two day ago i was at his place....i was going through his call log because i was looking for a friend's number on his phone that i had lost but that he also has. I called a number thinking it was my friend's number and his ex's answering machine picked up. I was furious. When he got home from work i asked him why he had called her. He said he hadn't heard from her in a month...hadn't seen her at work and just wanted to see how she was doing. He said they only talked about exercising and her dog...movies..politics and work and such.Nothing sexual...nothing. He said it was an honest call from one friend to another.

 

My question to you guys is this. Am i losing my bf? If not why did he call her? Does he still like her? They just agreed a month ago not to see each other anymore. I also checked that number to see if she had called my bf but she hadn't.It seems he was the one who iniciated contact.Also the call lasted almost 2 hrs.Does he want her back guys? Should i be worried? Please help.

 

Thanks:sad:

[alli]

I couldn't tell you if there is anything going on with his ex, though it doesn't sound good. He is creating these temptations himself. Who calls an old flame to wish them a happy vday? I don't call any of my exs, people I've casually dated or even platonic male friends. He is bringing them back into his life entirely on his own will.

 

I'd say he is not a faithful partner & wouldn't stay with him any longer.

[odile]

I hate to say it, but my instincts are telling me that this guy's a DOG.

No, wait-- I like dogs--- ummm... he's a RAT!

 

1. He likes to play the field, yes?

Was dating a co-worker, and you before choosing you.

Not a big deal, but doesn't look so great in conjunction with the other things.

 

2. After only 2 months of (supposed?) exclusivity with you, he calls her ON VALENTINE'S DAY.

Not her birthday, not Christmas, VALENTINE'S DAY.

They had not been apart long enough for things to have cooled off enough for them to be buddies yet, and

certainly not long enough to be the sort of pals that could call and wish one another Happy Valentine's Day

without there being a subtext beyond "I hope you have a good day".

 

He may not have slept with her, but he new damn well when he called her-- not to mention when he went to her apartment--

that he was going to get some action.

 

Honest post-Valentine's lunch at her place? My foot.

 

3. Then he breaks it off (supposedly), cos he doesn't want to risk losing you, is my guess.

BUT only a month later you figure out that he is once again calling the same girl that he told you he'd cut contact with?

For two hour chats? The same girl he specifically told you he hadn't spoken to in a month?

 

I'm so sorry, but this guy sounds like garbage.

I don't think you're losing him-- I think you never had him.

He sounds like the kind of guy who gets off on spinning multiple girls at once.

This isn't about him liking one girl more than another-- this is about him not respecting girls, period.

 

I hate to say it, but I suspect he's been lying to you more than you even realise yet.

Drop this one like a hot potato, and don't look back.

[rocio]

Am i losing my bf?

 

You never had him.

 

Does he still like her?

 

Clearly.

 

Does he want her back guys?

 

He never lost her.

 

Should i be worried? Please help.

 

Don't waste your energy.