THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[axgunner]

Day 8

Normal day for me nothing that exciting.

Thought about her a little bit at night but that didn't phase me!

 

Continue the NC!

[fscur]

Day 4

 

Didnt think much about her today.. except that I was in a trip and when I was going back home by bus, I took a nap, and dreamt about her... =/ now I have a really annoying pain in my stomach.. =/ just fought the urge to open her facebook page...

[IAmFCA]

Day 23

 

this whole thing is bugging me. ugh.

[figmentations]

Day 32

 

I dreamed about my ex last night, that she was rejecting me again. I woke up feeling super bummed out but once I got out of bed and thought of having a nice simple breakfast of tea and cookies, my spirits lifted immediately and then turned to things I had to do today and then looking forward to watching an episode of a TV show I like. I was surprised, really. I thought I'd be sad for hours, anguishing and having one of those days but I felt fine all day and I'm helping a friend cope with her recent BU as well.

[axgunner]

Day 9 (yesterday)

 

Went to best mates house to chill after class.

Day went quite well but at night I thought about getting back with her which is a Neg. Slept well though.

 

After her contacting me on day 7, I feel like I should contact her now. SDAAAAYUUUMMMM.

 

Keep it one step at a time! LEESKO!

[diesel85]

Day 4 I still think about her constantly. I can't get her out of my mind. I am spending a lot more time with my family than usual and it helps a little. Although this is the lowest I've ever felt in my life, I know nothing I text her will make me feel better. I sent her about 50 texts last week Monday night-thursday when she ended it, trying to tell her how much i care about her, how hurt I am, and that she's making the wrong decision. She did respond to me, we just didn't see eye to eye and kept repeating our side. Didn't get me anywhere and likely drew her a bit further away. Oh well, At least I didn't beg, cry, or argue with her in person. It's time for me to stop feeling regret for what I could have done better and simply move forward. I need to get her off my mind. I'm sure that during the time I spent with her I felt some doubts. I wish my emotions would allow me to really see those things about her that I didn't quite like/gave me pause. I can't let myself fall into a deep depression over this.

[beaton]

DAY 1

So here we go again. I believe I can do it this time. I have no plans to visit the city I moved from, where he lives, within the next few months. He will be off the grid for a month as well travelling so it's perfect timing.

I found an old journal containing detailed recollections of arguments we had leading up my moving away that make me clearly see that, distance aside, it wasn't going to last much longer anyway.

I still love the guy, I miss parts of our relationship acutely at times, but I'm ready to move forward with my life once and for all. Visiting my old haunts, coffee with him, seeing that I really can't go back to the life I had, with him or alone, has let me have closure.

Hopefully day 30 comes and goes with no notice. This month is to help me break the habits of thinking about him, thinking unhelpful phraseslike "i miss him," comparing now to then, and checking up on him online.

[IAmFCA]

day 23 still.

 

the impact of no sleep is palpable.

 

I had been forgetting and then tonight I checked his profile pic. honestly, because that is how we communicate. so I know that's impure re NC. but I did it. so just tonight he posted up his shirtless pic from just after last year's tri. he changed his cover pic to mark off the tris he has done and the dates for the ones he has left. the A has not changed her page, though she normally would. an ex liked his pic immediately. it would be consistent with past behavior to understand that his pic etc Is in part a reaction to mine, complete with exchange re recent bike ride.

 

Yes I am a grown adult. Yes I have other things to think about, men being the least of it but also present. Yes, this guy B was chaos in a can. but tonight, tonight I am indulging my juvenile emotion. it's on. we have now entered the stupid fb phase of our separation. he will win in the category of explicit display. that's his specialty. I will win in the category of mystery. and dxxm it all if that not- so- handsome man doesn't still push my buttons without his shirt on.

[fscur]

Day 5

 

Today is a holiday here, and I spent all day in bed..

 

This friday im going out, see people, hangout with some friends... lets see what the night will bring =)

 

Been thinking about her today, and wondered if she thinks about me too...

[IAmFCA]

day 24

with the help of a patient friend I have accepted as fact that I always will feel attracted to him. it will not go away.I understand his attachment style makes him run from intimacy, and I couldn't handle that for any longer than I did. I have the impulse to write him and ask whether he thinks he can learn to maintain the intimacy but I won't. as he separates from A, he will have other women and he will move on and it will allow him to contact me, as he relaxes in the new distance. Yes,I am going backwards in that I wish to receive one of his letters and also I have instincts to send him one of my own. but I won't. it's awful for me to be with someone who won't attach. have to let It go.

[El3216]

It's now a week with no contact. With all of this space and time am reading other people situations I have convinced myself that there must be some one else in her life. She has to be interested in some one else. We spent 3 years together and lived together. I know we had problems.. Alot of which are because I lost my manhood. I let myself go.. But in 3 months post breakup I'm in better shape then when we met. I feel good about myself and the only thing I'm missing is her now. If I had her I would have all the confidence in the world.

 

I lm not ready to let go.

 

After 30 days I'm going to reach out to her and ask to have a lunch meeting. I want answers for closure. Have you been seeing anyone? Do you want me to leave you alone forever? Is it really dead? Then good bye.

 

From that point if she see's I've corrected my flaws and it doesn't effect her ill have to throw out memories away.

[todayisrough]

Today is 30 Days NC and I am having a rough time because I got good news and it hurts not being able to share it with him ... I am happy and I still think of him, which is bringing me down.. I think it is because I was so used to telling him everything good and bad.

It doesn't help that one of his friends messaged me, when seeing my news on fb and thought we were back together..

Just another day to get through ...

[Amandacast57]

Today is 30 Days NC and I am having a rough time because I got good news and it hurts not being able to share it with him ... I am happy and I still think of him, which is bringing me down.. I think it is because I was so used to telling him everything good and bad.

It doesn't help that one of his friends messaged me, when seeing my news on fb and thought we were back together..

Just another day to get through ...

 

You can share your good news here! Haha, I stopped sharing good news with my ex, like when I'd get a raise or promotion, because then I'd be made to feel guilty since he hasn't received a raise or promotion, lol!

[todayisrough]

Aww thanks Amandacast57 I got a new Job and will be moving back home in just over a month! I am really excited! My Ex and I were LDR, he is from there also but I think once I am there I won't think about that anymore because starting a new Job will be so exciting!! Thats why his friend asked me today on Fb if we were back together when He saw the post

[Alone Now]

it's awful for me to be with someone who won't attach. have to let It go.

 

You obviously got the goods! I will assume you are talking about B and he doesn't deserve you! He, like my MW, will continue to play with your emotions because he can. What a horrible way to treat a lady. How can he just keep entering your life for his own pleasure? He doesn't sound like a man, but like a child and you are the yo-yo. And who is to say that he isn't playing the exact same childish game with A? He sounds like he is playing you both and no woman deserves that!

 

For goodness sakes ITIC, think about what we wrote yesterday! You have a pretty famous guy from a wildly famous band writing love songs about you. The guy may not be the one but he obviously cares a great deal for you and is emotionally available as you like to say. Form a bond with him even stronger than what you have developed and let him open the door to your heart in order to "set you free". He certainly cares about you more than B. I recorded I will set you free last night so I could listen to the words. They are powerful! They are faithful! Those are words from a true man who cares about you. B obviously does not, sorry to be blunt.

[figmentations]

Day 33

 

I cried over her today. I'm also sick and feel like crap in general so I'll attribute it to that. Feeling very angry toward her for not breaking NC, for not fighting for us, for just ignoring me.

[axgunner]

Day 10

 

Day was really good, I've just purchased the motorbike and picking it up on mon or tues [CAN"T WAIT] . However I can feel things are slowly slipping back into my old habits. Gamed from 10pm - 1am which is horrible. I really need to restrict myself somehow. throughout the day I have these little schemes that play in my mind of her getting back with me and stuff like that. Which I find sort of difficult not to do. Need to focus on being consistent!

 

Aim: 1 hour of games, and be more productive.

[janeyrose]

Day 2 of No Contact...again.

 

Trying my best to move on. But i still think about him all the time. Broken up for nearly three months now. sigh. still feel a little bummed out that he hid all pictures of us together.

[fscur]

Day 6

 

Today was awful! We work together, and when I was coming back from lunch I stumbled upon her in the midst of the stairs... Instantly my heart beat like crazy and all I could do was say Hi.. and keep on.. she was beautiful as ever and from that moment on my afternoon was ruined... =/ I just couldn't stop thinking about her.. and the rest of my day was really unproductive... I kept thinking if NC will really work... she is the type that needs attention, and I'm not giving it to her.. she might find it somewhere else... I really wanted to send her a message, cause I could see she was having a bad day.. but I resisted the urge.... well, I don't know what to do.. I really want to talk to her.. but I'm committed to the NC..

[todayisrough]

Day 31 thinking of you today and that your birthday is tomorrow! I am finding it hard to concentrate and have not been able to study for 3-4 days! Which is really annoying me! I wish i could just talk to you and we would laugh like in old time! I miss your smell and your voice and your hugs! You were my best friend, we understood each other without a word and I truly adored you! We had so many good times together and you are really funny haha! I will try and stick my head in the books now because it will make me feel better knowing I can move on and not let thoughts of you bring me down! I choose to stay strong for me! Me is my most important person!

[blukate]

back to day1 again tomorrow grrrr..

i hate myself.. now, i blocked his number.

[todayisrough]

back to day1 again tomorrow grrrr..

i hate myself.. now, i blocked his number.

 

What happened?

[IAmFCA]

day 25?

 

been reading about avoidants. so true with b until he recognizes that wellspring of anger and how it affects him, he won't get it.

 

anyway not my puzzle to solve. glad I got a letter. not responding.

[Alone Now]

day 25?

 

been reading about avoidants. so true with b until he recognizes that wellspring of anger and how it affects him, he won't get it.

 

anyway not my puzzle to solve. glad I got a letter. not responding.

 

GOOD FOR YOU! I'm really quite proud of you ITIC! Now is not the time to get baited! Tomorrow I will think of you as MF hits the stage!

[IAmFCA]

26

 

after 30 will I stop counting,?