THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[perio]

Exactly. I wont contact her again. She will surely see this, intime, for what it is. I would guess she is trying to get passed things still so she didnt respond. In the end, maby many months down the road, she will feel good enough to contact me. I would love to know how she is doing.

[rk110]

What I would love is for my ex to pull his head straight out of his ass. LOL. Either way, I will be better off. I have come a long way toward healing and now realize I won't die without him.

 

I think our exes can only deny reality for so long. Mine has to realize just how good I was to him, there is no way he can honestly say I wasn't. If he does, he is delusional. And I guess that's why it was so hard for me to just simply ignore his birthday.

[perio]

I think a few thing have been helpful to me during NC. I realize that my ex may have made the right.choice.for her at this point in her life. If that's true then I am happy for her and wouldn't want to distract her from her path. I also souls think I would be outright rude to contact her after her nonreaponse. This helped me be at ease with letting her go. It will be interesting to read these posts 6-12 months from now. I wonder what they will look like.

[thekid55]

Day 21.

 

Tied for my high water mark.

 

I watched Swingers for the first time tonight.

 

All I can say is, wow. I definitely feel motivated. It really gave me a new perspective on things.

 

If you haven't watched it, search for it on Youtube. You can watch the whole thing there.

[thekid55]

Broke NC at 95 Days

 

It's his birthday. After reading thekid's post about being ignored on his birthday, I decided to just send the email telling my ex Happy Birthday, I hope it's a great day, and I hope he gets everything he wishes for. End of story, end of NC. I don't know if he'll respond; in fact, I kind of hope that he doesn't. I guess overall, I don't feel any better or any worse for having sent it. I felt a sense of relief, as I had been stressing all day over whether or not I should do it anyway. It's just a "Happy Birthday" and I don't feel like I'm weak or lowering myself for doing this. In fact, I feel more like I've taken the high road by sending it. I'll see if those feelings change.

 

Crap, I feel horrible for influencing the breakup of 95 days of NC. Wow. that is very, very impressive.

 

In a way, I think not getting contact on my birthday was God's way of telling me to move on. Like for real this time.

[rk110]

Nah, don't feel bad. I didn't have to try too hard at it to begin with, because he got into a rebound relationship, which is now history. Had he still been involved with her, I would not have sent it. And the way I see it, either he will respond and we can move forward with or without each other; or he can not respond, and sometime in March, I will have shattered this record and will never look back.

 

Problem is, he has officially waited too long for me to look at him with those rose-colored glasses. Being remorseful will not be enough. Not even sure if love will be enough. What a fool he is.

[perio]

You Go rk !!!!

[rk110]

I'd be totally lying if I said it's easy. It has been the hardest trek of my life, not even kidding. I still have my moments, but find it harder and harder to cry over someone who clearly doesn't care about me anymore. Trying to rationalize how that happened has been the hardest part. Thanks for the support. I truly do appreciate it.

 

What helps get me through? Well for me, it's trying to see the positives. He's not much of a sports fan, and I haven't watched football much for the past four years. I'm loving my Sundays, and keep reminding myself how nice it is to just watch football all day on Sunday! Doing things with friends, I haven't had much time for that the past four years either. I've been able to be there for them and to have fun with them again. For me right now, it's capitalizing on the things that I would otherwise be missing out on if I was still with him. Not that I wasn't willing to do it before. I just didn't realize how much I'd given up, all for one person. It's nice to get some of it back!

[kennyc90]

Day 34

 

I woke up so late today lol. I woke up at like 1 pm! Haha I can't do that tomorrow. I'm gonna go visit my sister tomorrow when she's done watching the Chargers game with her boyfriend. Today I got a haircut and the lady did a great job with my hair! She took about 15 minutes just to give me a medium fade 1 on the side and 6 on top. It turned out impressive! I felt like taking a picture of myself lol but I'm not a camera fanatic like some lol.

 

I have a physical fitness test for the navy on Monday and today I wanted to see where I was at. I ran 1 mile with a 20 lb weight vest, rested for a few minutes, and ran another mile with the weight vest. Then, I took the weight vest off and I flew through my last mile like NOTHING lol. I'm definitely on track of setting a new record for my 1.5 mile run on Monday. I'm aiming at least a 9 minute run, hopefully go in the 8 minute category.

 

Right now I'm playing my video game I bought last week, Gran Turismo 5! I talked to my mom not too long ago. Yep that's pretty much it for me I noticed that I'm not on this site as much as I used to be anymore. I will post every day though. Alrighty well goodnight fellas!

[longtripalone]

Day 1

 

It's the end of the first day. I was half hoping he'd text, but fully understanding he wouldn't. I keep wondering what he did all day. Who he was with. Every little thing, I wonder about. However I didn't get the urge to text him. Even though he was (unfortunately) in my thoughts. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

 

-Heather

[nessa7139]

Day 1....

I no he wont contact me but if he does i'll know he cares!!!

Can't get back with him too many lies no trust and think he most def has someone else...

Hurting big time

 

Does it really get any easier?

[Rally]

Day 6

 

Nothing.

[thekid55]

Day 22.

 

New high for me.

 

Keep it moving.

 

If you do nothing, you can't screw anything up.

[rk110]

Day 1

 

I really have no intention of counting the days so much anymore. But since I broke NC yesterday by sending him an email wishing him a happy birthday, after 95 days of NC, I thought I owed it to this forum to talk about the outcome of that.

 

I really had no expectations when I sent the email. You can read yesterday's post on here, it's a true representation of how I felt at the time I sent it. I still feel that way, for the most part. But for as much as I had no expectations, there is still some disappointment that he has not responded. He's a genuinely polite person, so one would assume that even a very curt "thanks" would be in order. Truthfully, I'd rather not hear from him at all if that's all it would be anyway. So I guess although I rationalized sending him the email, I can't say that I totally regret it.

 

All that being said, I want to caution others against finding any excuse you can to break NC. I am by no means back to square one, but I imagine that is because it had been 95 days of NC and I didn't send him a big heartfelt letter spilling my emotions out. I sent him a simple birthday wish, and admit to being disappointed with the zero return. Even one month ago, I can tell you that word "disappointed" would be replaced with "crushed." So I guess I am progressing. And will continue.

 

Y'all take care of yourselves!

[kite]

I also souls think I would be outright rude to contact her after her nonreaponse. This helped me be at ease with letting her go.

 

perio,

 

I can relate to what you wrote here even though I haven't made any contact to the ex yet. It's been more than two months (I have lost the counts to tell the truth) of no contact. Like you, I have also just started to think of the time we had and the memories of him fondly. I am tempted to reach out to him, but hesitated as others suggested to let him initiate the contact if he wants. I feel the same way that if i got no response when I reached out to the ex, it'd help me be at ease with letting him go because I'd have at least tried and not be wondering what ifs. Am I making any sense?

[kennyc90]

Day 35

 

I feel like crap tonight. I just wanna go to bed and forget about this feeling.. just one of those emotional days when you freakin miss her so much.

[rk110]

Hang in there, kenny. You've been doing really, really well. It sucks so bad to have those days. She probably has them, too. Keep your chin up, tomorrow is a new day.

[perio]

Rt

 

Like you, I would have been crushed a month or so ago. I actually have relief and feel pretty at peace. I didn't put my heart out there or make any requests. I won't contact her again. I am certain of that. There is a type of momentum now between my ex and I. Her terminally ill sister is declining rapidly. I think my note was appropriate at this time. I was sure I was in the right spot emotionally. I a couple of months, this momentum will lesson and the gape will be so great that I wouldn't have any idea what has happened with her family. Yep,, she still has a bit of my heart but I don't feel that I "need" her. As I continue with NC, I believe she will see this as a kind note.

 

Kite,

 

Yep that make sense. I am actually dating now and she is a friend that knows the situation. She is level headed and no fool. We are going slowly but she is becoming increasingly important to me. As weird as it sounds, I would not take my my ex back right now. My heart would skip a beat if she wanted to, but that would be too soon I think. I am putting my energy toward other things including dating. I think we would both benefit from more time apart, weather our long term status is friends or otherwise.

 

I think Rt and I lucked out. It could have been a cautionary tale.

 

Back to NC

[longtripalone]

Day 2

 

It's now the end of the second day. I spent most of the day in a haze. I wasn't as responsive to people, no real emotions. Until I thought about my ex, the things he had said to me, the bad things from the past, and eventually I just became angry with him. Not a missing feeling, just anger at the thought of the things he put me through. I felt that was a bit more progress than missing him. However when I got home, I watched a movie and immediately felt a twinge of sadness. I'm not longing for him much tonight. No urge to text him yet. I know that will change, though. I've been through NC with him before, and after I go through that initial stage of anger, then that feeling of finally moving on, that terrible night will come where I give in and just need to hear from him, see words from him, anything. Tomorrow's a different day. Hoping the urge to text him will stay at bay like it has been for these past two days. Two days is NOTHING, I know. It's just a start. I hope he's wondering what I'm up to. He has so much damn pride!

 

-Heather

[nessa7139]

Day2

 

Woke up thinking of him, made a coffee thinking of him, WHY can't I stop thinking about him???

I do miss him so much but i am determined not to contact him.

Blocked him from fb last night, Slagged him off to a few friends..... Didnt make me feel any better though!!

 

It's our daughters 3rd birthday in two weeks, pretty sure i'll have to see him but I dont want to.

I just have this choked up feeling with me constantly...When will it go???

 

Vanessa

[iwannarun]

Day 1:

I miss him. I miss him a lot. But since he doesn't want to talk to me right now, he says I make it hard for him to focus. Which I know is true. But GEEZE way to make it super complicated. Alrighty though, no more texting or calling or anything. It's done with.

[Bobbadoo]

Day 22:

Yesterday was Sunday and Sundays are the worst for me. Happy that it is over and now looking forward to my week of exams. Hopefully the next Sunday will be ok.

[perio]

Just over 2.5 months post break up

 

I'm doing well. I still catch myself looking for answers. I redirect my thoughts when that happens. Another thing that keeps me in good spirits is practicing gratitude. I simply look at all of the things that I am so fortunate to have or had in my life. They very fact that I fell in love with my ex is a blessing. After my divorce, I have not had those kinda of feelings. I thought I might me unable to go three again. I at least know that I still have it in me and I'm not so emotionally vacant. I have my two daufhters, family, friends, health and a career that I love.

I hope she is doing well.

[tujna]

Day 40

 

... and going strong - this time forever - more resolved than ever - if I don't end it now, it will never end: 15 months is enough to wait. One day I will wake up and it will not matter anymore. I loved him too much, I waited too much, I suffered too much - to the point of not being able to exist without him. If he only knew that I know what he is doing. I have never been so determined. It is time to go now. He will know it soon too.

[longtripalone]

Day 3

 

Missed him a bit today. Tried to think of the bad things, but somehow all I did was miss him. The rest of the night turned into me just kind of not thinking much about anything. Watched a few favorite programs on TV and kind of just put those feelings aside. As the night progressed, bad feelings in the pit of my stomach started to rise. I'll try to sleep it off.

 

-Heather