I don't like my Mother.

[JadedStar]

What's odd is that CP speaks of his mom the way a very angry 15 or 16 year old child speaks of a parent who doesn't give him or her their way. He has never spoken of any physical abuse, or even mental abuse other than he thinks she is lazy and ignorant...that in itself isn't abusive, so the hatred seems really out of sorts. Usually when someone reaches the age of 25 they work out the childish reasons for hating mom or dad. I know I did. I felt like i hated my mother when i was a teen, and based on what i know about CP's mom and my own i'd say i probably had far better reason, but i worked it all out by early 20s.

[laisla]

The principle of the thing is that your parents should be there for you if you need or want their help. Which just further points to me having a bad family.

my parents are not always there for me when i need or want their help. they've gone against me sometimes. but i definitely know they are not a bad family, no matter what their negative points are.

 

your parents have taken care of you for what, 18 years? once you've moved out they don't OWE you that any more. some parents do accept their children back home and that is a gift they should be thankful for. you're 25 and making 50k, that's good money at your age. you're not out on the streets to be really desperate for a place. can you get a roommate or something to share living expenses if that's your concern?

[JadedStar]

your parents have taken care of you for what' date=' 18 years? once you've moved out they don't OWE you that any more. some parents do accept their children back home and that is a gift they should be thankful for. you're 25 and making 50k, that's good money at your age. you're not out on the streets to be really desperate for a place. can you get a roommate or something to share living expenses if that's your concern?[/quote']

 

Yes, i wish more people would understand that. Parents are people too. When you move back home after the age of 18 it is a priveledge, not a right bestowed upon you, unless your children are unable to move due to a mental or physical impairment.

 

I look back now and realize that at 14 and 15 i was probably hard to live with too. When we are young like that, however, we often have a hard time realizing that just because they are parents doesn't mean that living with us is a picnic and it is not unreasonable to think they might want to have us stay gone once we finally move out...so I definitely don't just look at this topic thru the lens of myself being a mother, i also look at it thru the lens of also being a former teenager and can somewhat empathize with my parents in that it was no party living with me either. I know they were glad when i moved out, just as glad as I was that i left.

[jusme]

This web site is called " you are not alone" so people are assuming they can come here and get what they are desperatly seeking from someone , somewhere , Im so sick of these sites being used by people who feel some sense of power when people admit troubles and faults to use it as an opportunity to slam others and make them feel worse than what they were , Im so frigging sick of it , Lets try constructive help instead of pulling down and character assasinations , Im sure this guy has had enough in his life , maybe its time he had some positve help , sure maybe some kind constructive critisism , but this is pointless , try some kindness geeez would it kill you, Id rather leave this world when its my time knowing I made peoples lives better not worse , Id hate to think someone was close to the edge and came here and got this . Do the right thing , try and look past what u think he is and see someone reaching out for a kind word and some love.

[melrich]

This web site is called " you are not alone" so people are assuming they can come here and get what they are desperatly seeking from someone , somewhere , Im so sick of these sites being used by people who feel some sense of power when people admit troubles and faults to use it as an opportunity to slam others and make them feel worse than what they were , Im so frigging sick of it , Lets try constructive help instead of pulling down and character assasinations , Im sure this guy has had enough in his life , maybe its time he had some positve help , sure maybe some kind constructive critisism , but this is pointless , try some kindness geeez would it kill you, Id rather leave this world when its my time knowing I made peoples lives better not worse

 

Jusme, at a level I agree with you. And believe me (and I think I can speak for JadedStar and FarthestEdge) when I say what is behind our posts is a long history of conversations with the OP about similar matters and issues.

 

It is not that that we are trying to make him feel lower than a snake's belly, it is that we are trying to make him see that only he can help himself and to do so he needs to accept some home truths.

[jusme]

Yes he is angry and I dont blame him,

I feel angry too when I feel unloved especially by those who have duty of care to love and protect me , Try and just look past the anger in him to see the sadness behind it.

[JadedStar]

Yes, there is a long history of interactions with CP and you are criticizing something you are not fully even aware of. There are all different types of advice and help one can get, and I am pretty certain that telling CP in this case 'yea you are right, all of this sucks" is not the most positive thing that he can hear.

 

You are not alone can also mean 'we've been in similar situations, or know people who have, and thus share that with others who might benefit from it". The phrase 'you are not alone' doesn't mean that you will be told that the things you are saying are always the best thing for you. I am not even saying that "I" am right, or Melrich, or farthestedge, whomever, but we DO speak from our own experiences and that is making CP not alone because he is getting feedback from a variety of sources.

 

I can't speak for the others, but I think they would agree, I really would love to see CP be a happier person. There is no benefit to him or anyone else if he remains this miserable.

[CaptainPlanet]

Jaded Star your posts include a lot of misinformation about me and some things I think you might have invented just to be able to slander me.

 

I don't mind when people stick to the facts when they criticize me but you just make things up and add in information to suit your argument against me.

 

I don't think you've made a single suggestion other than to point out the things you think are wrong with me and you haven't based that on anything concrete.

[CaptainPlanet]

When you say to me only 5% of people make $100,000 a year I say so what? Half of them won't be intelligent. About 15% will probably chose professions permanently for the security that won't pay $100,000 a but will provide a income.Half of the smart half will be women who will do woman things that limit their earnings.

 

My belief is that about half of intelligent males who are tall with good communication skills who so desire should end up making over $100,000 a year. This is also influenced by the number of young women that are deciding they want to make $100,000 year therefore it is probably less than half.

[JadedStar]

Jaded Star your posts include a lot of misinformation about me and some things I think you might have invented just to be able to slander me.

 

.

 

Can you please point them out? Everything I have stated has come directly from your posts on this thread or those in the past. I think your posts are well known enough here for the bulk of readers who have been here six months or more to know that as well.

 

You asked me some direct questions about the dynamic with my daughter, and I answered you. I guess it was not waht you had hoped would be the answer?

[FarthestEdge]

](*,)

When you say to me only 5% of people make $100,000 a year I say so what? Half of them won't be intelligent. About 15% will probably chose professions permanently for the security that won't pay $100,000 a but will provide a income.Half of the smart half will be women who will do woman things that limit their earnings.

 

My belief is that about half of intelligent males who are tall with good communication skills who so desire should end up making over $100,000 a year. This is also influenced by the number of young women that are deciding they want to make $100,000 year therefore it is probably less than half.

 

Of all the things I have said on this topic, THIS is what you choose to respond to? And then you dismiss the FACTS about your own countrymen because YOU know better that the Australian government, what 50% of Australian males are capable of! ](*,). Frankly, you'd have been better off arguing MY opinion than statistic..but whatever floats your boat.

 

You don't want help. You certainly don't want to improve yourself or change your outlook. Melrich is right. By continuing to project blame for your own failure to act onto those around you, by creating obstacles based on what others choose not to do for you to make it easier, you are merely looking for a way to continue as you are, but appear to be a victim.

 

I know someone like you. He has never held a job for more than a year. Everyone he has ever worked for is an "A$$- - - -", he has squandered a small fortune received in inheritances, a college education and every other benefit he actually did have. He fathered a child and never supported him. And now he's facing 50 and owns nothing, achieved nothing. The really sad part, is he was a really smart guy. But his arrogance prevented him from being able to work with anyone to build anything. He used to tell me he was too smart to work for the same "idiot" in the same dead-end job for years... Worked out well for him...Apparently he's going to be "too smart" to be able to retire, own a home, have financial security.....oh- he also doesn't have a "nice girlfriend to go home to"

 

CP, you can sit around to the end of time comparing yourself to others and crying about what hasn't been given to you.

 

OR

 

You can decide; "It is what it is. I am going to do the best that I can with the opportunities and tools that are available to me. And I am going to feel good about myself for achieving this on my own."

 

It's up to you.

 

I'm done trying to encourage or help you. You just come here to argue.

[FarthestEdge]

Also, here's another hint. You're going to need the assistance of others as you build your career. Which means you need to figure out a way to respect people who have more than you, even if you think they don't deserve it. You need to respect people who are in whatever position they choose to be in, because if you despise those on lower levels of the corporate structure, you will be an ineffective leader and not have their support. In short, you need to learn to have a more generous view of people, their career choices and the relative successes or challenges they've faced, or you'll never get to your 100k, because no one is going to want to help a 25 year old sniveling, bitter, angry person who thinks he's better than everyone else....

 

Would you?

 

to this comment, I add....

 

 

[JadedStar]

Yes he is angry and I dont blame him,

I feel angry too when I feel unloved especially by those who have duty of care to love and protect me , Try and just look past the anger in him to see the sadness behind it.

 

again, that line from "As Good as it Gets" by Jack Nicholson always rings in my mind when i read his posts...

 

"What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pi**ed that so many others had it good.".

[EQD]

i think you may be using income and career choice as a means to find security about your identity.. as a person.

you put so much emphasis on it, its lead you down paths that make you miserable, and i think you try to override the unhappiness with 'well i make this much so--' but deep down i think you know that isnt the answer.

you are a bitter person CP, you know that, we all know that. I think alot of it is the way you were brought up, and your relationship with your parents.

 

I hope you find a way to find peace within yourself, because as alot of others are beginning to discover, nothing in the shape of outwardly possessions will get you to that point. While they may give a temporary high, in a sense you chasing 100k is like the proverbial pot at the end of the rainbow.

[JadedStar]

Its just pretty interesting how on this thread he won't be happy until he is making 100k per year but on another thread he criticizes people at that salary level calling them 'overpaid professionals' and i have seen him for the past couple of years criticize people who earn that kind of money. Sounds like the hatred stems from salary envy.

[CaptainPlanet]

Its about doing what you are capable of and being your best.

 

I think I should be able to make 100k eventually.

 

JS you just don't know do you? Not every country is the USA, we have different salary ranges here because the currency is valued differently and it is a different market.

 

100k is not all that much

 

As I tried to explain most people won't try to make that much or they won't be smart enough or rather want to be smart enough. People who have no interest in learning won't ever have a professional career as a lawyer.

 

Someone who likes learning and is dedicated to that path, one day, probably will.

[JadedStar]

It is not I who is both hating and envying the folks making 100k CP. I don't have a problem with any group of people, regardless of their income, and refrain from ridiculous generalizations that tries to assume that every person in a group is all created exactly the same.

[EQD]

Its about doing what you are capable of and being your best.

 

 

 

and i get that, but you see how you are making it seem like your self-worth is directly effected by your income?

being your best doesnt have a dollar amount next to it. what everyone is best at or what makes them happiest isnt always going to make good money. That doesnt mean that those people dont think highly of themselves or enjoy their life. They are infinitely more happy than the people who decide to forsake themselves and persue the almighty dollar.

 

My riding instructor and her husband are much poorer than the people who patronize their business, but they are living what they love without regrets. And i envy the fact they have found their place in life.

 

anyway...

the dollar doesnt measure the man.

i hope you find your way someday.

[Miss Firecracker]

CP, I'm afraid if your mom invited you home and you achieved the degree you wanted, then you would sulk the minute one of your peers outshined you. This is a problem higher education will never fix.