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Very very confused....boyfriends cousin wont acknowledge me at all


katherinesinlv

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Hi all! I just joined this forum today in hopes of finding some sort of piece of mind on this issue. From what I know and understand to be true, I have been dating this guy for 10 months now, and everything is great, really great..He is the sweetest most carring man I have ever known, I look at him and know that "thats my man for life". He is Lebanese, christian, ...I LOVE his whole family...cousins, uncles, aunts, brothers, sister...everyone I truly do, and I know they respect me, and love me also. I attend the same church they go to, am involved with there family, cooking outings, visiting, ...hollidays...My boyfriend includes me in everything, and i love that. I have never had a close family, or ever been close with either of my parents or cousins, so this lifestyle that I have come to know...makes me feel really good, like I wish my family would be more like this. Anyways, getting back to the issue at hand, there is one small problem, ...His cousin, this one person in his family does not even act like I am around. It is truly disturbing. I mean, ...he has not looked at me, spoken to me,...anything..not even a hi, how are you...or even a hello in about 9 months, (I've been with my bf for 10) Honestly...I have NO idea what I could have done to someone to not even say hi to me....I have been mind boggled @ this for months now. I have talked to my bf about this and all he says really is "Thats how he is, he is weird". or "He wont be like this much longer".... ??? These sound like exscuses to me because he doesnt want to "ruffle any feathers" I know this. It wouldnt be as much an issue with me if they werent close. But from what i see, they are. They talk on the phone like 3 times a day.... Mind you that his cousin moved back here from another state 9 months ago, and he has been living with my bf's parents. My bf still lives at home aswell. along with his brother, sister mom and dad. So, Its a full house! lol...I am just so shaken up by this one person acting as though I dont exist. I mean, My bf and me can be on the couch watching tv...and if he comes up where we are, and starts talking to my bf @ something...I'll b right there....and he'll litterally just go along as if I wasnt there. so strange. My bf also did ask him why he doesnt talk to me anymore, and his response was "I dont want to". Has anyone ever been the victim of this? Or know where Im coming from? First time Im experiencing anything like this. I call myself a victim, because today i went to where my bf was to give him some medicine...and right when i walk in i see (his cousin is there also)..him giving me a dirrty look...(like why is she here)...I dont think he knew i saw him, but theres mirrors up to see what he was doing....(its a barbershop) I mean the nerve of him,...and my bf looks at him and goes "whats wrong"? I mean truly what is going on is my question...??

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welcome to enotalone. honestly, your bf's cousin sounds like he has some mental/social problems. why he can't be polite to you, i don't know. maybe he secretly has a crush on you, just like that guy in the movie, "Love actually" has a crush on Keira Knightly (who marries his best friend). i don't know. maybe he is jealous that his cousin has a gf (you) and he does not? maybe he is very religious and doesn't approve of your relationship for one reason or another.

 

in any case, it doesn't sound like anything you did wrong. and even if you did do something wrong to offend him, he could at least tell you what it is you said/did so you can apologize. i would continue to try to be nice to the guy, and just be glad you found such a great guy and that the rest of his family likes you.

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I just remembered a point that may be important, in the beginning, we hit it off very well...and he was pleasant to me...acted like he really liked me...we used to joke, talk, laugh..He was so funny, and nice to me..we used to joke and call eachother lil * * * * , stuff like that. Then, about a month after that everything changed. i was still acknowledging him, and being nice and saying hi...but the hi's back got less and less till where im at today..

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I wouldn't even put too much stock in it if you & the entire rest of the family hit it off great. Why worry about it? Why not just let it be what it is for whatever reason it is & enjoy life with your bf and all of the others...

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I really dont know why I put so much emphasis on it...I really dont, maybee its because ya know, everyone seems to like me alot, and talks good about me, and then theres this one outsider....and I dont know how to act around someone when thy will not speak to me. Another reason is that I can recall just last week, I was bringing my BF medicine at his brothers, and his cousin was also there....and he gave me a dirrty look...I think its just becomming kinda rude now....i dunno...

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