I may still have feelings for my ex

[Pokerman]

My ex (of 2.5 years) and I broke up back in September mutually, we both thought our relationship wasn't getting anywhere after a few failed attempts to reignite our passion for each other, we were falling victim of being a routine couple doing the same old things. So we parted amicably, I stayed in contact with her on a very LC basis, and as time went by I started to get lonely and would think of talking to the ex again, but i didn't act on those impulses because I figured that it was the comfortability of a relationship I wanted, not the person itself.

 

In all the time we've been apart, I've not really met anyone who's interested me, and I haven't been actively pursuing anyone, maybe its because I have this growing desire to still be with her. We've met up on a few occasions for coffee to chat and catch up, all of which were nice encounters, and mostly all initiated by me.

 

I'm having this constant battle with myself on whether I should confess to her that I still hold feelings for her, or to break off all ties and move on. We are both single, she responds positively to my occasional emails and calls, but I have absolutely no idea whether she is still interested in me. Here's what I'm asking: Should I tell her I have feelings for her? These thoughts are nagging at me and I would like to get them off my chest and tell her, because if I don't and I continue this "friend" charade it will drive me nuts.

[lisa1126]

Pokerman,

 

Do you want to get back together with the ex?

Do you feel there is a chance?

Would you like to try to really make it happen?

 

If you can answer positive to all these questions, I think you should broach the subject with your ex starting with letting her know you still haven't given up.

 

Think deeply about whether your relationship can be restored and mature if you two got back together.

 

If you are still feeling strongly about your ex and if you want to give it a try once again, i think you should have a talk with your ex.

[catfeeder]

If you want to get back together, then telling her your feelings is only half the issue. For a reconciliation to be successful, something must have changed. That's the thing to discuss. Feelings without a reasonable plan for changing what went wrong with the relationship in the first place won't raise her confidence that anything could be different between the two of you.

 

Start there, and if you can come up with a good enough rationale and plan to convince yourself that you could make this work, then there's your answer.

 

In your corner.

[lady00]

Often times in "mutual" breakups, one person wants it more than the other. Was that the case here?