Broken_Toe Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Hi, Just a really quick one.... Split up with girlfriend a week ago (I'll save that story for another thread and was just wondering if anybody good recommend any good books to help get over her etc. I'm looking for self-help books really that offer advice/techniques to help you deal with the breakup and moving on etc but if anyone had a good expereince with any other type of book please feel free to share them with me. Long story short but if I want any type of social life I will have to see my ex at least once a week so this is why I'm looking for books that can teach me ways of dealing with this better as I am dreading it. It was her decision to split although I was initially gutted I have realised this is for the best as it would never ecer work between us. Thanks in advance (P.S To give you a clue something along the lines of this: link removed Cheers!!) Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I'm about halfway through this: link removed It's great so far, highly recommended! Link to comment
quirky Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I found the book "Feel the fear and do it anyway" very helpful and hopeful. It doesn't deal solely and directly with relationships but it helps immensely on a personal growth level. Because it helps you feel stronger you will then be able to deal with the breakup easier, it brings the focus on you. Provides you with a world full of possibilities, it really helped me actually to take the decision to break up and change my perspective big deal. Link to comment
Broken_Toe Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 I found the book "Feel the fear and do it anyway" very helpful and hopeful. It doesn't deal solely and directly with relationships but it helps immensely on a personal growth level. Because it helps you feel stronger you will then be able to deal with the breakup easier, it brings the focus on you. Provides you with a world full of possibilities, it really helped me actually to take the decision to break up and change my perspective big deal. Already have it but never got past the first 2 chapters. I'm great at buying books just not so great at then reading them. Link to comment
parlae Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 well, im not sure if you're look to reconcile, but the book i bought is called "Getting Back Together". it's about focusing on yourself during the break and making you realize what went wrong in the relationship, what values you NEED in order for the relationship to work, etc. and after every chapter it has 5 questions (based on the previous chapter) to give you a better feel of: you, your ex, the past relationship, and the new&improved relationship that you want to form. it's helped me TONS. me and my ex are now doing very well...not together at this point, but that's for other reasons (he's in the military and he's getting deployed for 6 months, we're gonna continue our "break" but still keep in touch and see how things go for the time period while he's gone. --sorry for getting off subject...lol) but,.. if you're looking to get back with your ex, i think that book would do you good. and if not, i'm sure you could go on link removed and look thru the books they have on the subject you desire. best of luck with everything! Link to comment
canali Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 'Rebuilding' by bruce fisher (3rd edition)...a classic Link to comment
rustyschackelf Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 A book I found helped me after my ex broke up with me is called "Your best life now" by Joel Osteen. The book is based on religion (the author is a pastor), but it is still helpful even if you are not very religious (which I'm not). One of the topics it frequently covers is how to deal with adversity and catastrophic events in you life. And one of the events it covers frequently is dealing with a break-up or divorce, and how to deal with your grief, sadness and moving on. A message in the book that really helped me was to stop constantly dwelling on that failed relationship and all the reasons why it failed. While I don't agree with everything he says in the book, the majority of it is still very helpful. Best of luck. Link to comment
peace_lily Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want by Sonja Lyubmirsky The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Breakup by Delphine Hirsch This one is controversial: All the Rules: Time-tested secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. While this book is kind of anti feminist, it helped me to understand why my ex behaved the way he did sometimes and how I could have set better boundaries and protected myself better emotionally by not going in deeper than he did. This book is essentially about setting boundaries, not about playing games (in my opinion). Also, it helped me to see myself in a positive light, as someone special and unique instead of as someone who was rejected. I think it did as much or more for me as any other book. It also gave me a better sense of the early stages of dating in general; when you get to the point where you want to date again, you may or may not want to follow the rules, but it helps either way to know what they are and how you feel about them. Currently I'm seeing someone else and I've broken a lot of them, but now I do it consciously and with an awareness of what the results might be instead of doing it out of overeagerness and naiviety. Link to comment
ScubaDiva Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 To change your entire perspective on life try - Discover your destiny with the Monk who sold his Ferrari - The 7 Stages of Self-Awakening. Robin Sharma. It has great insights on life. Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 A book I found helped me after my ex broke up with me is called "Your best life now" by Joel Osteen. The book is based on religion (the author is a pastor), but it is still helpful even if you are not very religious (which I'm not). One of the topics it frequently covers is how to deal with adversity and catastrophic events in you life. And one of the events it covers frequently is dealing with a break-up or divorce, and how to deal with your grief, sadness and moving on. A message in the book that really helped me was to stop constantly dwelling on that failed relationship and all the reasons why it failed. While I don't agree with everything he says in the book, the majority of it is still very helpful. Best of luck. I 1000% agree! This book has changed my life tremendously. I am re-reading it now. Link to comment
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