He wants to be friends

[Beaker5]

Quick Recap

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me a few days before Thanksgiving because we really fought too much. We didn't talk after that and it was and still is very painful for me.

 

He sent me an email right before the semester began asking if we could be friends. We share the same friends and although I started off eating at the other dining hall, I recently started eating with my friends and he hadn't been there.

 

Well, today he was in the dining hall sitting on the same table as the rest of our friends so when I saw this, I sat alone on another table and ate quickly. 3 of my friends from the other table came towards me and offered to sit with me but I was just about to leave then so I told them I was leaving.

 

What should I Do?

Should I just make an attempt to be friends? Should I talk to him? What should I do? I don't want to cause any drama between friends. This is our last semester and I don't want to induce drama. I honestly do still have feelings for him though and if he wanted to be with me again, I would probably want to. Please help.

[uofagirl]

No one can really answer this for you. This is something you need to be asking yourself.

 

Can you be "just friends" with him, all feelings aside? Considering you still have feelings, unlikey.

 

It's hard to be "just friends" with an ex when those feelings are still there.

 

That doesn't mean you are being dramatic it just means you are doing whats best for YOU. And that's all that matters.

 

But again, the person you should be asking these questions is you...

[Cognitive_Canine]

Don't be friends.

 

Even with the least painful of breakups, it takes a long time before friendship doesn't hurt.

 

What would come from being friends?

[veneratio]

It's really hard to be "just friends" when feelings are still lingering about.

 

I attempted a friendship entirely too soon with one of my ex's and all it did was wreak havoc on an already damaged friendship.

 

My advice would be to wait for a friendship until you're entirely healed. But as youngforever said, only you can answer those questions.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

This is very awkward since you share the same friends. If you didn't share the same friends I would say that there is no reason for you to communicate with each other. However, since you are bound to come in contact with him then at the very least you can be polite to him and say hello etc. You might not feel comfortable being buddies with him but certainly under the circumstances there might have to be some level of small talk because you are in the same circles.

[Beaker5]

I know that if we didn't have the same friends, I would have no problem not talking to him. But everyone just wants me to get over things and for everything to be OK. Just because he's OK, it doesn't mean I am. I actually invested emotions into this relationship and trusted him.

 

I really don't know what to do in certain situations such as the one I was placed in today. If I go to the dining area, and he's sitting on the table with all of our friends, should I just suck it up and sit there as well? Or should I come off as dramatic and sit alone on another table?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I know that if we didn't have the same friends, I would have no problem not talking to him. But everyone just wants me to get over things and for everything to be OK. Just because he's OK, it doesn't mean I am. I actually invested emotions into this relationship and trusted him.

 

I really don't know what to do in certain situations such as the one I was placed in today. If I go to the dining area, and he's sitting on the table with all of our friends, should I just suck it up and sit there as well? Or should I come off as dramatic and sit alone on another table?

 

I think you have to just suck it up and go over there or else you risk alienating all your friends. You are entitled to inwardly feel hurt and uncomfortable..and you don't have to be buddies with him no matter what your friends say...but you at least need to make sure that you don't make everyone else uncomfortable. The only other option is to get new friends..but it really is better to just show that you are dealing okay with it no matter what you feel inwardly. Don't show your ex that he is getting to you.