Hard to just walk away when I'm a victim of circumstance.

[GoldFox3840]

My ex and I were together for only four months, but it was an amazing four months. I had a few girlfriends before her, but something about the chemistry with her was amazing. I was her first boyfriend, so not as experienced as I was in relationships.

 

At first she was certain she loved me, but as time went by she realized she needed to experience more of the world before she made any big commitments. I was devestated when she told me that she loved me, but it wasn't fair to me to be led on while she figured herself out. That was two months ago, and I've come to terms with the fact that the breakup was necessary. Better for her to find herself now than to wonder after marriage and kids.

 

She told me this didn't mean we could never be, just not right now. I told her I didn't want to give up on us, which I guess she interpreted as "I'll wait for you". I then went NC, with a few friendly communications from her every once in a while.

 

When she eventually removed my name from her "In a relationship with..." status on Facebook, it automatically defaulted my status to "In a relationship" with no name. I didn't go on Facebook for a while, mainly as part of the NC, and when she checked Facebook a while later, she saw me as being in a relationship. So, she assumed I had moved on that quickly, and was thus insincere about my feelings for her. I found out through the grapevine that she believed I was with someone else. She probably figured I went NC because I had found someone else. I got back on Facebook and changed my status to "single".

 

So what did I do next? Did I let it go? No, I decide to contact her to see if we can have a chat and clear the air. She snubs me cold. Now she likely assumes that my new "relationship" failed that quickly and I was crawling back.

 

I know, someone who will jump to these conclusions is probably not worth my time. I've always stressed that communication is essential in a relationship, and it looks like our relationship died the way it lived, with weak communication. I guess I just still hope one day things will calm down and she and I can have a discussion.

[ellandroader]

Hey,

 

If you do care about how this has been left, then write her a letter. I just came out of a relationship that I had to end reluctantly and felt devastated with the aftermath. I was a victim of circumstance too, though it was very different to your case. She wasn't 'available' due to various things.

 

However, I was friends with the girl beforehand, cared very much for her and wanted her to know everything. So I sent her a letter, and she should have it soon.

 

If anything, you at least will have the knowledge you did everything you could. That's what I am aiming for.

 

All the best,

Dan

[learnin2trust]

If she will allow you to explain, fine. But she ended the relationship before she thought you had begun a new one with someone else. So, in reality, she wanted to end things regardless, right? In my experience, someone who wants you to wait around while they go having new experiences is not really all that concerned with your feelings..or returning. I hope I'm mistaken. But are you really seeing clearly? I wish you the best.