Should i even be mad?

[gnarlyhoc]

I met a girl about 10 months ago. We hit it off well in the beginning. We started a relationship early on, but after 2 weeks she was pretty upset saying she wasn't over her ex fully. She told me she still liked me and just need time. I told her we can take it slow. I didn't realize this meant that she wasn't going to ever bring it up again and leave me wondering. I didn't want to bring it up over the next few months for a few reasons also. Big Mistake.

We hung out together all summer, we went to some concerts and she surprised me by showing up at my house with my favorite food. So i thought it was going slow. I didn't want to bring up the relationship

A.) I didn't want to bother her and pressure her into anything

B.) I figured she would say something since she brought up the stuff about her ex to end the short relationship. I figured i would get an answer either way.

C.) She was going to grad school about 12 hours away, and I figured it would fade away while she was there if it wasn't going to work.

 

Hind sight is 20/20 thought. I should have said something alot earlier instead of going through all of the wondering. All summer everytime we hung out she gave me a kiss goodnight, and it seemed like it was really going well. The end of the summer came and she went off to school. I figured it would fade away if she wasn't interested. It did for a while, but she came back. She talked to me everyday during the semester. Thanksgiving break was the first time she was able to come home. We hung out at my place and cuddled. Same kiss goodnight also. So i still figured it was going well. A week later i get a drunk call from her. Sayin she wishes i was out with her. And she misses me. She ended it by saying "Im going to be to bed, and Ill be thinking about you, and my ex too, but ill be thinking about you more." I was a little pissed at that. I thought this isn't good. She also would question me if there was another girl since she was away. One time was funny i guess, but she brought it up constantly. But she said she was just "teasing". Yeah...

 

So I had planned on saying something the next time she was home because i couldn't take it any longer. We hung out a few times over the winter. She seemed a little off during this time. So we went out for dinner one night together, and it happened to be my birthday. At the end of the night, she gave me a big kiss "just for my birthday". So i gave her a letter i wrote explaining my feelings about everything. It wasn't filled with lovey stuff. It just stated that i really liked her, and i would be willing to treat her well and do whatever i could for her.

 

 

Well it turns out that i was just an "incredible friend". She leaned on me for everything, and i was one of the few that seemed to really care about her... (Duh). I'm the one that has been there whenever she needed me.

She also mentioned she doesn't think she can do the distance thing, it takes a toll, and doesn't think she can deal with the stress of it well.

 

Alright, well. Cool, I got rejected after all of that.

We didn't talk for about a week, then she sends me a message. Basically she was mad because we didn't talk. Saying "she was still here and meant what she said about me being one of the best friends she had, and She would hate to lose that one person."

One line really stuck out at me "i might not be your girlfriend but that doesn't mean i dont care"

She ends it with "I guess ill talk to you in another 600 miles... maybe"

This was right before she travelled back.

Uhhhhggg. Felt like a guilt trip.

 

Since that its been limited conversation. I went out one night, and i guess she saw a message i left somewhere.

She hoped i had a great time and ended this one with

"I hope you had a freaking blast, cya gnarlyhoc "

 

 

I don't even know what to feel. I just feel led on by the whole thing. The signs where there. I just don't even know what to do at this point. I don't think i can be "just friends". And everything i did for her wasn't because i wanted to be "just friends". I think i made that clear from day one.....

Any input would be great. Sorry it's so long. Right now im just trying to move on but it still hurts.

[DN]

I think you should tell her that since she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about her you have decided to move on and find someone who does. Under those circumstances it would be better for you if you didn't see her or have contact with her any more. Wish her the best and hope she finds happiness.

[gnarlyhoc]

Yeah I'm actually working on what i want to say. Thanks for the quick reply. It's more that im confused by her actions. I'm not trying to read into anything. I've done that before and it doesn't help. I just take what she said at face value. One of my close friends said she is putting up a wall so she doesn't get hurt again.

 

But nothin i can do about that.

[searching1951]

Be firm and go NC. She may then think you're her new ex and want you back. Or not.

Just move on.