top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 In response to the side branching of another thread I have started this one for the sake of the original poster.. It is a different topic than what was asked.. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Of course it can - if both people for whatever reason prioritize having sex over being in an exclusive relationship with each other (or I guess looking for one with someone else) then it for those two people it will work out fine as long as those priorities stay the same. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 (If you mean with the same person) IMO, only if it's at incredibly irregular intervals. Sex is designed to mess you up like that, unfortunately. Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 Well I think that a womans body biologically was made to have babies.A mans to provide the sperm via intercourse.. If someone has casual sex then morally they are denying themselves a fruitful, mental,spiritual and healthy relationship.. I remember after breaking off my engagement to a woman some 19 years ago that I went on a spree of casual sex that left me feeling empty..wasted and just wanting to find someone of real substance. Sexual desire is an appetite that has to be fed.However in the bedroom the woman quickly wants more..the man may want more too..sex and high emotions can draw people to form a closer bond that can be hard to differentiate.Feelings start running rife. The womans natural desire to have a baby will dictate to her that she is cheap and will seek more than just a sexual relationship. We can potentially have sex with alot of people but once the hunger is satisfied then where does it leave you? Emotionally drained..cheated..mentally spent and feeling of self worth that a bacteria has more dignity... A well rounded loving relationship has alot more to offer as well as a lovely human future..What better than to experience true love ,respect..have a family .ride the ups and downs together and raise children. Children are our future we control tomorrow by the moral values we give them and the fact that we show them as husband and wife the we love each other very much and they can take this love forward in to their lives and mae society a much better place. Now I can gasp for air after that post!! Breath top bloke !! Breath!! hahha gosh I love you guys Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Well I think that a womans body biologically was made to have babies.A mans to provide the sperm via intercourse.. If someone has casual sex then morally they are denying themselves a fruitful, mental,spiritual and healthy relationship.. See, this I don't agree with. There is more than one purpose to sex that reproduction and I don't believe that the point of a relationship is babies. And as someone who a) isn't interested in having children and b) genetically isn't that disposed to getting pregnant and c) not straight, I'm looking for other things with sex and relationships. Also, having casual sex doesn't preclude you from having good relationships. It just means you aren't a) interested in them right now or b) interested in anything more with that person. Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 As a man though I am glad I went throught that phase of my life despite the poor self image it gave me.You see now I have that out of my male system I can be more appreciative of my wife. I se alot of guys who dont sleep around a bit before marriage tend to cheat on their partners for because they glorify sex with other women... The feeling I get from being a family man and a faithful husband far outweighs the sex spree from the past..I have a high degree of contentment.. Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 See, this I don't agree with. There is more than one purpose to sex that reproduction and I don't believe that the point of a relationship is babies. And as someone who a) isn't interested in having children and b) genetically isn't that disposed to getting pregnant and c) not straight, I'm looking for other things with sex and relationships. Also, having casual sex doesn't preclude you from having good relationships. It just means you aren't a) interested in them right now or b) interested in anything more with that person. I know you dont..but the rest of the animal kingdom cant be wrong either..The rest of the animal world has sex to reproduce.We love the pleasure of sex and keep going back...why? Because we are programmed for it. Without it we probably would not be talking right now.. Ok so your not straight..fair enough..but realise that your biological urges for sex are what draws us back for more.We cannot fight our natural instinct despite our sexual preferences.. I want it..you want it ..we all want it..we cant fight it ..no..We rationalise sex in different ways but we cant escape the natural urges in our veins.. Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Casual sex lacks the morality that sex was supposed to be all about. Does that make sense? Guess what I am saying is...Unless you plan on being with that person long term (marriage IMO), then you should not be just casually "doing it". Link to comment
whes Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 To me casual sex simply means sex outside of a committed relationship. It doesn't mean the feelings are casual or that the people feel casual about the sex - it just means that the persons involved can have sex with others if they want to and if they do it would not be cheating. If the people involved take the sex very seriously and have deep feelings for each other but still would have sex outside the relationship I would still refer to it as a casual relationship as opposed to an exclusive relationship. No judgments from that term, just a way of describing the difference. I would think that there are exclusive relationships where people feel casual about the sexual part, it's just that they've agreed not to have sex with anyone else. Oh absolutely, I just think that sometimes people can be in a committed, exclusive, sexual relationship. A married couple I know rarely have sex with each other. They do not even sleep in the same room. Yet they are perfectly happy with each other and their marriage: their communication is amazing, though. The husband is bi-sexual and has a long-term lover who is exclusive with him, and their relationship is purely sexual. It is all about what kind of relationship you want with that person. And if your expectations stay within the bounds of that relationship, it is entirely possible to sustain a longterm sexual relationship. I do think it is quite rare though: but perhaps that's because we (the collective "we", in general) are still very hung up on societal conventions. I really don't like the name casual sex. To me, sex is anything but casual. I have had very few partners, but it has always been something extremely meaningful. Link to comment
drifter523 Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 This may not apply but I am in a sort of situation where my ex and I still see alot of each other and have an emotional connection but he has taken on having casual sex with women and I see that alot of women her say that it is ok but if it were you would you beable to keep it that way?? Would you be able to know that this is going NO WHERE? Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 So...spit it out ladies.. get it out in the open..we are all friends here.. Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 Casual sex lacks the morality that sex was supposed to be all about. Does that make sense? Guess what I am saying is...Unless you plan on being with that person long term (marriage IMO), then you should not be just casually "doing it". Absolutely..what is the point...dont get me wrong some casual sex can be good but it is what it is...just a root.then theyre gone!!You are alone and wondering why did you bother half the time. I could have enjoyed a steak better to be honest..lol They couldnt even make a bit of conversation half the time!! Link to comment
whes Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 This may not apply but I am in a sort of situation where my ex and I still see alot of each other and have an emotional connection but he has taken on having casual sex with women and I see that alot of women her say that it is ok but if it were you would you beable to keep it that way?? Would you be able to know that this is going NO WHERE? Not too sure what you are asking. If we were getting back together, I certainly would NOT be okay with him sleeping with a lot of other women. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 The rest of the animal world has sex to reproduce. And as stress relief (certain monkey) and as a way of keeping group stability and as a way of asserting dominance. If the orgasm is what keeps us having sex, then our biology can't trust reproduction as a reason for us to have sex. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 As a man though I am glad I went throught that phase of my life despite the poor self image it gave me.You see now I have that out of my male system I can be more appreciative of my wife. I se alot of guys who dont sleep around a bit before marriage tend to cheat on their partners for because they glorify sex with other women... The feeling I get from being a family man and a faithful husband far outweighs the sex spree from the past..I have a high degree of contentment.. There are plenty of men out there who never ran around banging every woman in sight in their younger years and are perfectly faithful to their wives and have no interest in straying. There are many people out there who can learn from the mistakes of others without having to make those mistakes themselves. I will also say that not everyone feels that the purpose of sex and relationships is to make make babies and raise families. Lots of people have meaningful relationships and sex lives and have no interest in raising a family. Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 Sleeping with other women means he isnt satisfied with you..even if you are a great person ..get soomeone who wants you. Link to comment
whes Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 Casual sex lacks the morality that sex was supposed to be all about. Does that make sense? Guess what I am saying is...Unless you plan on being with that person long term (marriage IMO), then you should not be just casually "doing it". This is where I'm coming from. My ex from a few years ago and I started hooking up once a month or so. For me, I absolutely wanted something more. I was not having sex with anyone else, but I'd been committed to him since we met. Neither of us are very big talkers so sex is a way for us to relax and connect on a very deep level without the embarrassment or vulnerability of talking. We kept hooking up, however, and neither of us is really "like that", especially him, so we've stopped having sex for the time being to take the time to date and get to know each other more thru talking. I guess the point of that rambling speech was to say that there is sex outside of a committed relationship that actually is a long-term commitment. Just sometimes the order gets mixed up (sex before relationship..). Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 There are plenty of men out there who never ran around banging every woman in sight in their younger years and are perfectly faithful to their wives and have no interest in straying. There are many people out there who can learn from the mistakes of others without having to make those mistakes themselves. I will also say that not everyone feels that the purpose of sex and relationships is to make make babies and raise families. Lots of people have meaningful relationships and sex lives and have no interest in raising a family. I did say some men didnt I.? There are alot of great guys..better than me in a sense who are very good faithful men. You dont have to go through a crazy time like mine to be faithful. However for me it gave me a better realistic insight . I was a crazy son of GUN!! I have seen though many times that alot of men who did not experience this feel like they mssed out.. Also how many of these faithfull guys sport gigabytes of porn on their computers? I know a few non sexed faithfull guys and they try to show me porn on their computers..You know what..I am just so over that rubbish. It makes me sad that they wait to have kids get married to drool over scantily clad images.I lived it ..went through it and its over.. No the primary purpose of sex is definitely the pleasure..but biologically ..we know what the purpose is..Am I correct? Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 And as stress relief (certain monkey) and as a way of keeping group stability and as a way of asserting dominance. If the orgasm is what keeps us having sex, then our biology can't trust reproduction as a reason for us to have sex. Orgasm is a precursor as such. Who would want to have sex if it wasnt enjoyable? Yes the primary driver is the orgasm. Without it though we are unscrewed so to speak!! Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 ^^^ LMAO "unscrewed" I love the pun! Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 Sex does bring us together though..it isnt a case of wham bam thank you maam for you. You are working at a relationship..good for you Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 ^^^ LMAO "unscrewed" I love the pun! hahaha!!Supa girl...I am pretty serious with all these wonderful people posting here but I am having alot of fun with them as well. They are challenging my thoughts..and I am thought provoking them.. I hope I havent offended anyone but I feel like a worm on the hook at the moment and loving it.lol Just know that my posts are with love care for you all so please dont let me peeve you off heheh Just face it we would be unscrewed lol Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 Come on ladies its 4 pm in the usa coffee has been drunk..post away!! Link to comment
drifter523 Posted January 25, 2009 Share Posted January 25, 2009 I guess tha is why I signed up for this I want to get my feelings out there.... I know that if he is sleeping with someone else that is attraction for me is pretty much gone but i know that he still loves me... I am going to start a thread about my situation if you want to anyone can say what they want. Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 I guess tha is why I signed up for this I want to get my feelings out there.... I know that if he is sleeping with someone else that is attraction for me is pretty much gone but i know that he still loves me... I am going to start a thread about my situation if you want to anyone can say what they want. You stick around lady..you are nt alone..we are not alone ..right here right now my ears are burning and my face is feeling hot.This is a sure sign that someone has me in their sights on this thread. Whoever you are spit it out go on..I am a nice guy so help me form a better perception and view of life as I panel beat your perception gently towards the bigger picture on this topic!! Sheez my ears are burning...someone out there loves what Ive posted or hates it...I can feel their emotion.. Link to comment
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