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What am I? As I'm confused!


Daniel05

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OK I'm in my late 20's but still don't know who I am. Mainly I guess I'm talking about sexuality issues here. I'm so confused still and I hate not being one thing or the other. I have never had sex with anyone as I've always hidden away from it. I've had one or two girlfriends that naturally didn't get very far. Basically, looks wise I am attracted to a lot of guys and no that many women. Gay you say? Well it's not as simple as that as when I do think about having sex with someone it's always with a girl! I'm attracted to having sex with a girl but I find guys attractive but wouldn't want to have sex with them! Isn't it utterly stupid? Is anyone else like this cos I'd love to know! Even down to personality/interests I'm neither one thing or the other - most lads I know like to watch/play footie and chase after girls. I don't fit in with that. I don't fit in with the gay world either as I don't feel gay or like to chat to the girls about things and watch feminine things. I'm so fed up and sad with feeling alone and not fitting in with anyone. I have very few friends and have always pretended to them that I'm 100% straight. I try and fit in with people I meet but very few I get in with because I'm not the same.

Lifestyle wise I want to marry in the future and have kids and have a normal family lifestyle but there's always this nagging away at me in the distance and I think I'll never be happy in my life. Any advice?

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you say when you imagine yourself having sex it's with girls. i think you may have answered your own question. it's ok to find guys attractive. you can see how a guy is good looking and what women find attractive in them. have you ever suffered from ocd at all? just curious.

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I had to look up what OCD was

I don't think I do. What made you connect that with my problem?

 

alot of people who have ocd suffer from what is called hocd, which is homosexual ocd. it basically makes you think that you are gay and that you would enjoy it even though your brain is telling you it's not true. do these thoughts ever disturb you? the disturbing thought comes from doubting your sexuality.

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Umm I don't know, never heard of it before. Interesting facts tho thanks.

The hurdle I can't get over is when I'm out on the town with 'the boys' and they're ogling the girls I'm thinking 'He's cute' etc. It upsets me cos I don't want to be like that. How can I have sexual relations with girls when I'm generally (unless they're stunning model material) not facially attracted to them? One follows from the other surely.

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Umm I don't know, never heard of it before. Interesting facts tho thanks.

The hurdle I can't get over is when I'm out on the town with 'the boys' and they're ogling the girls I'm thinking 'He's cute' etc. It upsets me cos I don't want to be like that. How can I have sexual relations with girls when I'm generally (unless they're stunning model material) not facially attracted to them? One follows from the other surely.

 

'it upsets you cos you don't wanna be like that'. i'm sure you're going through such mental anguish at the minute my heart goes out to you. try looking up hocd. you don't like these thoughts of finding guys attractive. you've said you picture having sex with girls. maybe just try to not think about it too much. if you go out with friends just try and have a good time. don't put too much emphasis on guys or girls appearance. if you want to send me a private message feel free.

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