i need some female input.. (male do share your experience stating you are the guy)

[wtm78]

lets say you and i are a couple. everything is fine. the love, the sex, everything is good.

 

1. but when it comes to disagreements. we dont see eye to eye. you have your opinion and i have mine. you dont understand where i come from, and neither do it. so what do you expect me (the guy) to do at this point in time?

 

2. say i got impatient with you. maybe i get excitable, i talk faster, speaks louder, my tone isnt as friendly. but i am not yelling, just loud. do you think its acceptable (in a ladies point of view)? (with reasons). discuss...

 

3. in the midst of a heated quarrel. our defences are up and we are very upset with each other. if i, the guy, yelled at you in a heated argument. is it forgiveable? do you think its an abusive act? discuss..

[Supa_gurl]

1. Drop the issue and agree to disagree

 

2. No I don't think it is acceptable. It can make the woman feel like less of a person.

 

3. Almost anything is forgiveable when love is involved. But you can't push it too much because when this becomes too much she may want to leave. In my opinion it is an abusive act. Reasons: I was verbally abused as a child, as a grown up I am not going to take the slightest bit...

[greywolf]

1. but when it comes to disagreements. we dont see eye to eye. you have your opinion and i have mine. you dont understand where i come from, and neither do it. so what do you expect me (the guy) to do at this point in time?

 

Respect that you are different people and have different opinions. Don't talk about the stuff you don't agree on unless it is important to the relationship

 

2. say i got impatient with you. maybe i get excitable, i talk faster, speaks louder, my tone isnt as friendly. but i am not yelling, just loud. do you think its acceptable (in a ladies point of view)? (with reasons). discuss...

 

That is getting aggressive. I tend to do it too, but I don't think it's acceptable. There is no need to be aggressive with a lady.

 

3. in the midst of a heated quarrel. our defences are up and we are very upset with each other. if i, the guy, yelled at you in a heated argument. is it forgiveable? do you think its an abusive act? discuss..

 

I don't think yelling is acceptable at all. I would forgive it if it didn't happen that often, but if it was something that ocurred frequently I would reconsider the relationship. I definitely have a limit with drama.

[Circe]

lets say you and i are a couple. everything is fine. the love, the sex, everything is good.

 

1. but when it comes to disagreements. we dont see eye to eye. you have your opinion and i have mine. you dont understand where i come from, and neither do it. so what do you expect me (the guy) to do at this point in time?

 

2. say i got impatient with you. maybe i get excitable, i talk faster, speaks louder, my tone isnt as friendly. but i am not yelling, just loud. do you think its acceptable (in a ladies point of view)? (with reasons). discuss...

 

3. in the midst of a heated quarrel. our defences are up and we are very upset with each other. if i, the guy, yelled at you in a heated argument. is it forgiveable? do you think its an abusive act? discuss..

 

What do I expect you to do at that point in time? I expect you to work on trying to at least understand where I'm coming from, and help me understand where you are coming from. If what you are saying isn't making sense - say it in a different way. Work on your communication skills and encourage me to work on mine. Let's work on it together. Even if we still disagree at the end it's necessary, I think, that we at least understand where the other is coming from.

 

Loud - but not yelling? No - not really. It's intimidating. Why would I accept intimidating treatment from anyone? Whether or not you intend to be intimidating - it would indeed intimidate me. So not acceptable.

 

Yelling - is it forgiveable? Yes.. a few times.. and if you agree to get some help (whether its reading some anger management books or seeing a therapist) to deal with your anger and frustration in a different way and I see change in your behaviour - its forgiveable. It's also imperitive that you recognise that this behaviour is abusive and unacceptable in order for me to even want to forgive you for it.

 

Is it abuse? Absolutely. It's intimidating buddy. Don't intimidate your girl.

[Sparkly Eyes]

1.if we disagree on sth where our disagreement is not that important I just think we should agree to disagree! Otherwise I don't know, maybe you should even rethink your relationship if the issue was big.

 

2 $ 3. I hate when a guy yells, speak fast and go to his angry mood. I think a few times would be forgivable but in all, I Dont want to be with a guy like that. I had a guy who was like that and now I think what was I thinking when I stayed with him?