top bloke Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 I have been finding that they are pleasantly surprised in real life just as much as here.. It has probably got something to do with the fact that I am much much better looking than fabioooooooo Well a little...heheh Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 ena vs real life.... Its much easier to talk to people here than real life. In person it is still very rewarding but you do leave yourself open to attack by manipulative and selfish people. I have saved a strangers life as I passed by only to find that unwittingly I may be dragged to the courts away from my business for weeks at a time. I am going to pay a high price for being a good samaritan Link to comment
melrich Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 It seems that the veil of secrecy here has a tendency for more honest answers which heal and lead people towards resolve. Oh I think that is just a very common byproduct of internet forums. A lot of work has been done studying people's online personas versus real life and invariably people do have two very distinct personas. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 ena vs real life.... Its much easier to talk to people here than real life. In person it is still very rewarding but you do leave yourself open to attack by manipulative and selfish people. I have saved a strangers life as I passed by only to find that unwittingly I may be dragged to the courts away from my business for weeks at a time. I am going to pay a high price for being a good samaritan Sadly this happened to a friend of mine. He jumped a lady's car who asked him for help in a parking lot of a grocery store. He didn't think twice about helping, he had cables and a truck. She later sued him - said he scratched her car hood. I used to help people in this type of situation but now I am not so sure i'd jumpstart a stranger and that is a shame because I used to always offer up my car for a jump if someone needed it. Now i am very leary. Link to comment
penelope13 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 My advice is the same regardless if in RL or on ENA. But the big difference between ENA and RL is, that people who come to ENA are usually at a very low point in their life and they feel that nothing that they have tried in RL has worked, so they are looking for other means of getting help. So in some ways ENA is not a 'true statistical representation' of the general population, but a selected number of people, who decided at a certain point that they really do need help. In real life, people even though they are asking for help, often haven't reached the point yet, where they really understand that there is no other way than starting to change their own behavior Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 Sadly this happened to a friend of mine. He jumped a lady's car who asked him for help in a parking lot of a grocery store. He didn't think twice about helping, he had cables and a truck. She later sued him - said he scratched her car hood. I used to help people in this type of situation but now I am not so sure i'd jumpstart a stranger and that is a shame because I used to always offer up my car for a jump if someone needed it. Now i am very leary. All I can say is that I saw an accident..i went to help..it was smoking up like a potential bomb .I pulled the family clear and now..it has taken a twist which makes me doubt the true intentions of those we help. These people have cried wolf one too many times and my moral courage with good intention is being taken advantage of. I am a good guy..i just dont know if i would ever help in this situation again.. It makes me a bit sad that I do genuinely love people but am rewarded with alot of potential problems for my heroism. Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 Oh I think that is just a very common byproduct of internet forums. A lot of work has been done studying people's online personas versus real life and invariably people do have two very distinct personas. I am not sure Mel. Ive met quite a few of my drag racing forum buddies and weve met in real life and I can say they looked different but most of their personalities were consistent. I suppose everyone would be at their best when they crack it down the 1/4 mile at eastern creek wsid. Link to comment
quirky Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I give the same advice in real life as I do here, though more detailed but...often in real life I find a lot of people wanting a certain distance, or to put on a brave face and avoid discussing anything serious. My mum says they are afraid and have trained themselves to just "not go" there. I don't mind at all people being honest when they have a problem/are low, I want to help them but I do mind the 'whining' attitude, pointless whinging, beating around the bush because I can't get to the core of things that way. I hate that in me as well when I do it! As some previous posters put it, ENA is less intimidating, one's reactions can be spontaneous (good or bad) and you don't have to put on a facade. Link to comment
top bloke Posted March 3, 2009 Author Share Posted March 3, 2009 well I have thought about my setback and looked deep in my soul. If i saw a family in a burning car i would risk my life a thousand times again and again to do it. Link to comment
top bloke Posted June 28, 2009 Author Share Posted June 28, 2009 Im not big on digging up old threads but my new experiences here have given me the confidence to help people out here. Inthe past several weeks in person my advice has given me mind blowing results in peoples lives off line out here. While we have the buffer of confidnetiality here I have found that alot of people I know do benefit from my learning here and applying it to there issues. So yes it can definitely be a help out here and I am not afraid or reluctant to do it...so I thought I would share this with everyone. The important thing is to give the advice but not have them rely on you all the time.Answer the question and then leave the ball in their court to take it forward. Most listen and smile after and comment ..wow..I never knew you were like this . It has been very satisfying Link to comment
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