Cheating

[Botched]

Asking a question as a way to start an argument isn't discussion. If you have a point to make, just make it. Don't pretend to seek other peoples thoughts only to agrue with what is shared. Study up on conversation.

 

Again, just make your own claim.

[Botched]

Actually, I was under the impression that these forums were for the exchange of ideas and opinions. Unless of course they differ from yours.

 

An honest answer. You do seem to think this way.

[miss_eb6]

Everyday is determined by the choices that you make. When two people choose to get married than they need to understand that this is the bed they made. When you wake up you can choose to pursue whomever you want but if they are married, you are choosing to hurt the husband and possibly the women. She is going to feel conflicted about what she wants and what choices that she now needs to make.

 

I do think that when it comes to cheating all parties are at fault, definitely no denying that. Bottom line you can have a great personality and attract many people but that doesn't mean you have great character. That is someone that you have to earn everyday by doing the right thing and only time will tell.

[mrmaximum]

you make some interesting points, however I do have to disagree with the assertion that all of us guys that dont eliminate married women from consideration, are immediately cast as "lowlifes". To me, the intent would have to be to destroy something in order to earn that label. For instance, say I bagged a married woman on purpose, not because I was interested in her, but because I had some kind of beef with her husband. And then I used it to mess up his head. THAT would be low. But for me, its never about "breaking them up".

 

And what precisely do you think happens when you then engage said woman? The thing is that when people cheat, unless they have an exit affair they are never trying to break up their relationship. We all know the stats on cheating, just having the relationship in the first place increases the odds dramatically of the marriage ending if it does ever come to light, and even if the affair doesn't some can't take the pressue on their conscience and the marriage is irreversibly changed. Once again, I urge you to take a look at Surviving Infidelity. A look at the other side of issues may not change what you do, but if you are going to engage in activity like this, it may be a good idea to get both sides, no?

 

It seems as if you are looking for no strings attached relationships. It's your life, you aren't the first and you will not be the last. But I would have to agree with Botched that if you do indeed feel this way, do not place a statemet like you had earlier in this thread and expect people to simply accept it. You way of thinking may work for you, but you must know by now that it does go counter to what is accepted. This is another reason why I think you are in denial about this. A bold challenge and then constant backpedaling by the deluge of posts thereafter. You must have seen that coming so why make it?

 

If they break up, thats fine, and if they dont, then thats fine too. It was never really an issue. And back when I used to do it alot, them breaking up was the LAST thing on my mind. So maybe in your mind, I'm still a lowlife, but I dont go into these these things with ill intentions. Actually, there arent any intentions at all. I guess if I had to illustrate some kind of intention, it would simply be to find out what she is about, and go from there............

 

Maybe not ill intentions, but one cannot possibly accept that you had no idea what was going on, or what the possible consequences could be? The reason why I recommended the fog is that with you in the picture you have not only gotten into the marriage bed, but in a lot of cases have muddled up the mind of the woman (and this can happen to men too) so that reconcilliation is now more difficult. This is what I meant about certian aspects of life being inescapable, one can crow all they want about NOT intending to hurt anyone, but if my friend suffers brain dammage after I was choking him (some play that stupid game in some areas) well, what can I say?

 

Botched said it earlier and and I have to agree, if you choose to date married women, so be it, but you will not get immunity for assisting them with what they do. This is what BSBH meant by the getaway driver being an accomplice. However, I think you already know this, I think that your posts here and your arguments are simply to deflect what you already know is wrong. It seems that you have to cling to these in order to make what you are doing more acceptable to yourself.

 

Maybe I differ from most in my total view on relationships. I just dont believe that every realtionship has to last forever in order to mean something. As a matter of fact, some of the best relationships Ive ever had lasted less than 6 months. And then they just reached that point where you knew it was time to go. No bad feelings, there just wasnt anywhere further it could go. So you get out before you ruin it. So that obviously factors in to my view on married women. Even if it only lasts a few months, we might have some wonderful times together, and not just in the sack either. And I should NOT do that simply because of a promise she made to someone else that has nothing to do with me?? Not likely.....

 

No and not all relationships need to be saved either. Here is the deal; take a look at the site I mentioned. There is a great deal of pain there that you may not realize can happen. It isn't the discovery of an affair that kills a relationship, it's the affair itself. Yes, this woman did indeed go back on her promise to another man, but to knowingly get involved yourself? You may not take most of the blame, or even half of it, but you do realize you need to take some of it.

 

There was some fun for you and your ladies, well, okay. However, the pain which results from that fun can burn for a lifetime which you must realize has been left in your wake. If you truly where alright with it they way you say you are, this discussion would be NOWHERE near as long as it is.

[LostInFlorida]

Like i've said before, "the light you weild must blind another". That is just how it is. Because I make more money, that means someone else has to make less. Should I feel bad about that too?

[Raoul]

Like i've said before, "the light you weild must blind another". That is just how it is. Because I make more money, that means someone else has to make less. Should I feel bad about that too?

 

This is nonsense! "Because I make more money someone else has to make less"? On what planet?

 

Raoul

[Nutz]

I have always believed it is the attached party who is cheating is to "blame", and not the other woman/man.

 

I know it's not always as clear cut as above. But what do others think in general?

 

I agree that it's the one who's in the relationship that's to blame.