jvh Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Has anyone ever done counseling or gone to a marriage seminar after having issues of infidelity? I'm really considering doing that after I caught my husband cheating. I really want to save the marriage, and am just super curious if anyone has done either before and had any success? Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 One to one counseling is your best bet. It will help you see things more clearly and really know if this is what you want. I did go to counseling but she continued to lie and see her bf. He should she the same therapist but at different times until some issues are worked out then you could do couples therapy. good luck and keep your eyes wide open lost Link to comment
chaosa Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 You first need to make sure he wants to work things out too or it will be pointless. Good luck to you. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I don't know but good luck if you want to save your marriage, do what you think it's better for you. But if you stay with him, don't ever do it just for the kids (if there're children involve), do it because you forgive him. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I agree that you can't save the marriage if he is the one who strayed. So if you are BOTH wanting to work on this i would say 1 on 1 counselling as well as couple's counselling. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 One to one counseling is your best bet. It will help you see things more clearly and really know if this is what you want. I did go to counseling but she continued to lie and see her bf. He should she the same therapist but at different times until some issues are worked out then you could do couples therapy. good luck and keep your eyes wide open lost I agree with individual counseling as best bet, but I disagree with both partners seeing the same counselor. You can't work cleanly when you know your therapist holds the secrets of the one who's betrayed you. You don't need the therapist you're paying to trust mixing with spouse's disloyalty. You won't recognize this at the time, but you could find yourself manipulating or resenting or operating on assumptions about spouse's disclosure rather than going where you'd otherwise go with a private confidant. You may find your filter limiting and your money wasted instead of taking off your gloves and diving your own personal depths beyond hopes of healing spouse. I'd set an upfront goal with therapist of assessing when s/he believes you could benefit from marriage counseling; then s/he can refer you to someone who's uncontaminated, even while you continue your private work. Meanwhile, trust is a difficult enough tightrope to master, and until you make some progress you're not supposed to feel self-conscious or immature for any bouts of viewing spouse as an adversary. Forget attempting maturity games and claim your own territory for your own work. You'll get as ugly as you need to get, and you'll thank yourself. In your corner. Link to comment
jvh Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 I appreciate the kind words and advice everyone. Has anyone ever been to something like a three day seminar? I found one called A New Beginning and I was just curious if anyone had ever done anything like that and how the results were. I'll also investigate the individual counseling angle. Thanks so much. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.