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Not attracted to each other anymore


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My wife and I have been married for 13 years and we are no longer attracted to each other on the physical level. We are a fully functional family with a great deal of respect, attention and care. Life with work, responsibilities, and kids have made us more like a team force sharing chores and duties. We spend our free times together, watching TV, going out together and so on, but no desire for sex.

Since we are so good together, and since sex is not working anymore, we thought maybe we could hire a male prostitute for her and a female prostitute for me every once in a while just to get some sexual satisfaction in our lives. Is this bad?

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I guess I do not understand how you could be so turned off by each other that you can't even really consider sex...

 

It has to be more than just "she got fat and wears sweat pants" and "he got fat and hairy", in my opinion.

 

I think being a solid family, and having a good relationship really requires sexual intimacy. How about spending the prositute money on a sex therapist?

It's worth at least a shot before you bring sex workers in. That could damage things.

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If it's something you both want, no one else can judge it. Whether it would be good for you, is something you probably won't find out until after it's done.

 

But I have to ask if maybe it would be better for family harmony if you both put more work into finding each other attractive again? Is it a case of you're just so used to each others presense that there's no desire, or is it that you've let yourselves go?

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My wife and I have been married for 13 years and we are no longer attracted to each other on the physical level. We are a fully functional family with a great deal of respect, attention and care. Life with work, responsibilities, and kids have made us more like a team force sharing chores and duties. We spend our free times together, watching TV, going out together and so on, but no desire for sex.

Since we are so good together, and since sex is not working anymore, we thought maybe we could hire a male prostitute for her and a female prostitute for me every once in a while just to get some sexual satisfaction in our lives. Is this bad?

 

In my opinion, it is a dreadful idea...fast track to ending your marriage.

 

Use some imagination!!!

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If it's something you both want, no one else can judge it. Whether it would be good for you, is something you probably won't find out until after it's done.

 

But I have to ask if maybe it would be better for family harmony if you both put more work into finding each other attractive again? Is it a case of you're just so used to each others presense that there's no desire, or is it that you've let yourselves go?

 

It's not so much about judgement, but one can't deny that the mutual use of sex workers is a big step. And you're right, it should be tread into lightly and used probably as a last resort in this case.

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if you both agree to it, then there is nothing at all wrong with it. So long as you and your wife are emotionally capable, and stable enough for this.

 

there is no way of knowing if you are emotionaly capable or stable enough to do something like this until you actually do it.

 

the risks of doing this are huge, physically and emotionally.

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hmm..if you cant touch your woman then why are you together? For the kids? Get some dignity and get a divorce. What would you do if your wife got pregnant? Still support someone elses child ?

 

Where would your family be if you got aids ? What effect would that have on your kids ?

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I definitely would NOT introduce anyone else into your love lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your lovemaking with your wife is something that only she should enjoy with you and vice versa on her part!

Introducing someone else (aka both of you having your own lovers) is not the answer... and could possibly destroy the friendship that ya'll have. Jealously is a very real thing - and it can come upon you in the strangest times (like when you believe you won't be jealous at all) then it all of sudden pounces on you.

What if she ends up liking the prostitute better than you??? sex creates intense bonds (especially between 'lovers' because you don't always see the bad side of them)

 

I'm so sorry that you let your marriage get like this.... I honestly can't imagine a healthy marriage to have no sex involved in it. I've been married a year and a half and from my own experience sex is a VERY important part of our marriage.

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