top bloke Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 My time to start a thread.. I am happily married and the sex is great. The only problem is that I hardly think about sex or respond to women which most other men just trip over their tongues to bed. I dont give a dam. I used to have a very high sex drive but it seems to have died? In my travelling work i meet gorgeous women and i have no interest at all. Maybe its because i love my wife alot? Is it that i know she is the gem in my life? Is it normal to not be aroused by any woman but my wife when its time to make love? Am i passionless?? Am i just the result of being a great husband? Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 heh, you are the type of guy I would die for, lol. Seriously, your woman should be really flattered and grateful if you get turned on just by her. Link to comment
top bloke Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 Really???hehe...why thank you. I would rather eat a fat steak than flirt back with these attention seekers to be honest... Link to comment
kaoticbaby Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 well....do you have NO sex drive, or do you have no sexual attraction to women other than your wife? the two are very different issues. Link to comment
top bloke Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 well....do you have NO sex drive, or do you have no sexual attraction to women other than your wife? the two are very different issues. I have realised that in my daily travels that i do not think about sex ... However when me and my wife make time everything is fantastic..sex life is great.. However the main difference is that when i look at her now i appreciate the whole wonderful woman and not simply lust. If lust is there in my thoughts it hides well. I think i have an overwhelming love for her...the mother of my children..my right arm...hehe In day to day i am not thinking about sex at all? I think that i used to believe that my animal sex desire was something that ticked all the time...something that defined a man...but i have come to realise as i post that what defines a man is his complete love for his woman and she in his heart makes him feel just complete... Maybe this is why that daily sexual feeling is gone..its not really needed for me...she knows me and i know her.. I still wonder though why my daily libido is right down? Maybe i need a holiday? Link to comment
COtuner Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 How old are you? Men's testosterone levels can start to drop a bit as early as their late 30s I think. I don't think I'd worry at all if I were you. If you stop wanting to be with your wife, then maybe worry about it. Link to comment
top bloke Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 I am 40 years old. I woke up this morning and thought the same thing. I may try some vitamins and see if I feel different. Perhaps it is my testosterone dropping ? Perhaps i need a holiday Everybodies answers ave been great and have given me insight into this change in my mind/body. Worried Girl thank ou for your post ..it is nice.. Kaoticbaby thank you for your input. I havent been interested in sex at all outside the bedroom which is a bit strange for me as Ive had a ridiculously high sex drive in the past(poor wife hehe). As far as other women..I can have the best ,deepest conversation and leave a smile from ear to ear if I choose but dont really notice them in a sex way.. good for me Yeah!! Cotuner I am thinking we are on the money here..maybe it is burnout. old age..pfftt who are you callling old lol.. I am not your typical 40 yo. I run every morning and do weights 5 times a week. Overall yes I am a pretty good fellow but would like to notice nice teeth on a nice woman who I am chatting to..I would like to watch my wife walk past me and think sexy thoughts of her for sure as I love her heaps. Its the end of the year..its 750 am here now..I am going to go for my run.Next week is holidays. No work..no running around ..the year was nothing great..but at least were stil alive up to here despite the negatives the smile is still on my face.. Link to comment
COtuner Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 How about a change of routine and a change of scene? I think you aren't as inclined to think sexually when you're in the same old routine, or when your mind is partially focused on other things. I suspect I pass a lot of attractive guys every day, but I just don't notice them. I started up at a new gym and I notice lots of people now - I figure it's because it's new and I'm curious as to who is there and what they are doing. Same with other activities - I go somewhere different to shop, walk around, hike, whatever and I'm more attuned. Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 How about a change of routine and a change of scene? I think you aren't as inclined to think sexually when you're in the same old routine, or when your mind is partially focused on other things. I suspect I pass a lot of attractive guys every day, but I just don't notice them. I started up at a new gym and I notice lots of people now - I figure it's because it's new and I'm curious as to who is there and what they are doing. Same with other activities - I go somewhere different to shop, walk around, hike, whatever and I'm more attuned. This also a welcome suggestion. I think my issue has correlated with my lack of enthusiasm in every day life.. I need some zest back. I am taking holidays and have had some silly things on my mind which i am just going to turn around when i get back as i have also realised i have fallen into a slightly negative frame of mind by holding my thoughts from people who can realise that i care and still maintain my self respect Link to comment
top bloke Posted January 6, 2009 Author Share Posted January 6, 2009 cotuner..youve hit the nail on the head..i have been on holidays for a week now . I feel very good. I can feel my hormones kicking in hard and energy going up. Every time i see my lady i just think of how hot she is getting me under the collar..it is a complete turnaround. Seems that beak from the normal was the perfect solution. Only problem now if i keep this going the dishes may never get done..hehe Link to comment
penelope13 Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 cheeze tb: every woman wants to clone you now or to send over her man for you to teach him your tricks ;-) as for the dishes: buy a dishwasher Link to comment
lana111 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 i dated a guy once who had no sexual interest in anyone but me. id walk in a room and he would get aroused. never heard him talk about another (real or on tv) woman or look at one. not once in 6 1/2 years... however he didnt lack a sex drive over all, it was just all focused on me. but you are what you are and as long as it isnt effecting any part of your life and you dont have an issue with it, i dont see a problem Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 cheeze tb: every woman wants to clone you now or to send over her man for you to teach him your tricks ;-) as for the dishes: buy a dishwasher Dammit we broke that as well!! It has been a while and my drive is driving well thanks.. Its amazing what a bit of timeout from daily routine can do for your energy levels!1 Link to comment
berrypatch Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Hey TopBloke! Glad you are feeling better after holiday! here are my thoughts...I think what you are describing is mature love. You aren't a young buck with the hots for any gal on the street that looks good- you have the hots for your wife! That is a sign that you consider sex as the highest expression of love, not just as a physical thing. I think this is how we were intended to mature in relationships.... unfortunately you are a minority in this modern world.... BTW, that is what I always feel as a woman toward my man when I am in love. I only have eyes for one man. But if I am not in love, I look and think a lot....must be a built in hormone-emotional connection.... Link to comment
top bloke Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Hey TopBloke! Glad you are feeling better after holiday! here are my thoughts...I think what you are describing is mature love. You aren't a young buck with the hots for any gal on the street that looks good- you have the hots for your wife! That is a sign that you consider sex as the highest expression of love, not just as a physical thing. I think this is how we were intended to mature in relationships.... unfortunately you are a minority in this modern world.... BTW, that is what I always feel as a woman toward my man when I am in love. I only have eyes for one man. But if I am not in love, I look and think a lot....must be a built in hormone-emotional connection.... Thank you!! My behaviour has matured alot from my young hormonal days where puberty drove me mad. I like what I feel and for me its my choice Link to comment
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