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Ladies is a guy not being EXPRESSIVE in a email when first meeting you a big deal?


ConfusedDater
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I been going through old emails and noticed that I'm very VAGUE in my replies to woman when I first meet them online. If they ask what kind of stuff I watch on TV my reply is

 

"tv comedy, reality shows and sports"

 

What I do for a living

 

"Career advisor"

 

What kind of music I like

 

"jazz, r&b, and oldies"

 

 

 

I think I was trying to save the elaboration part of what I do and like for the phone because It would be more to chat about. But it looks like I have to be more expressive in my emails in the future so I can get to a phone conversation because some woman just stopped emailing. So ladies would you be turned off by vague answers like that also?

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I been going through old emails and noticed that I'm very VAGUE in my replies to woman when I first meet them online. If they ask what kind of stuff I watch on TV my reply is

 

"tv comedy, reality shows and sports"

 

What I do for a living

 

"Career advisor"

 

What kind of music I like

 

"jazz, r&b, and oldies"

 

 

 

I think I was trying to save the elaboration part of what I do and like for the phone because It would be more to chat about. But it looks like I have to be more expressive in my emails in the future so I can get to a phone conversation because some woman just stopped emailing. So ladies would you be turned off by vague answers like that also?

 

 

Elaborating a bit more would be nice. You don't have to write a novel, just give some examples.

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no it was a phone conversation on a friday night and she asked-"where do I see myself in 5 years" and I was like-"HUH?

 

What is wrong with asking that?

 

Good question if you ask me. It could really help you to get to know a person, and isn't that what dating is all about?

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no i don't think so, today I was just going through the email archives looking to see what I did wrong in 2008 so I can be on point in 2009. I missed out on talking to a couple of pretty ladies for being so vague

 

Honestly I don't think that you are doing anything wrong by keeping it short on emails. Just answer the questions and then ask some yourself. If you are just answering the questions and thats it, I can see why opportunities are missed.

 

Whenever I am text messaging someone I am interested in, I make sure that I leave the reply open ended so they can respond back and see that I am interested.

 

The only advice I have for you in 2009 is to try dating OUTSIDE the internet world. Every post I have read of yours is about some chick on myspace, email or instant messenger.

 

Get out there and date real women face to face.

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Honestly I don't think that you are doing anything wrong by keeping it short on emails. Just answer the questions and then ask some yourself. If you are just answering the questions and thats it, I can see why opportunities are missed.

 

Whenever I am text messaging someone I am interested in, I make sure that I leave the reply open ended so they can respond back and see that I am interested.

 

The only advice I have for you in 2009 is to try dating OUTSIDE the internet world. Every post I have read of yours is about some chick on myspace, email or instant messenger.

 

Get out there and date real women face to face.

 

good points. maybe they just didn't like your answer or thought you were compatible enough to continue. and agree 100% to leave the internet for dating.

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If you are just answering the questions and thats it, I can see why opportunities are missed.

 

 

Exactly. By CD's short example, it looks like he isn't even interested in her, only in answering about himself. I'm not saying that's how it is, because obviously it was just a short example. But if I was asking a guy questions, and he only replied, and didn't bother to ask "how about you?" or something to that effect, I'd think he wasn't interested and only interested in himself!

 

Or maybe that's just me.

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These kinds of emails are not really about what you watch on TV - you wouldn't really choose a partner based on that, it's more to get an idea of your personality in the way you write. This is why coming accross as being interested in the other person is important and also leaving it open for a response back.

 

The "where do you see yourself in five years" is in my experience more to see if you value family life, marriage and children?

 

Try to give more details in your answers and if you have a short funny anecdote, great! And most importantly, ask questions back or you won't get another email

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*says sarcastically* oh yeah huh? now you remember.

 

so now you want to spill your guts to girls in hopes of it lasting longer?

 

 

No, I want to stop focusing on myself so much and learn more about the girl. I have to keep in mind that the email chemistry is just as important as the phone chemistry.

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Are those your full responses, or just snippets? One sure sign of interest/non-interest is whether the other person is asking questions about *you*. So if you are answering a question of hers and not responding by asking her to tell you something about her, she'll take that as a lack of interest.

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I stop writing back to emails that have no questions in them. If I write them an email asking about them, and they write back with only a response, i write nothing back whatsoever and move on to the next one.

 

 

I know and I should have known better knowing that a conversation whether it's on email or phone should be like a tennis match, back and forth.

 

I only kept that in mind over the phone

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I know and I should have known better knowing that a conversation whether it's on email or phone should be like a tennis match, back and forth.

 

I only kept that in mind over the phone

 

Cant get to the phone call if you don't express interest over email.

 

Like another poster said, it's not about what you watch on TV when you answer that quetsion; it's about getting to know the other and making yourself sound interesting so they will be interested.

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