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what do you do when you have no support?


tinababe

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I have a pattern of falling into depression. it happens all the time, i get over it and a few months later i am down in the dumps again. I have trust issues and have only talked to a few people about my situation. When i am depressed, thoughts of suicide always enter my mind. I am a very impulsive person, so i dont think before i do anything. out of the friends i have told, i am not feeling any support. the feedback i get is that i am just going through something and i need to get over it, or i want attention. Those people once told me that they would be there for me whenever i needed them and now they are walking away. The other two people i told, i am unable to contact since they joined the airfoce. I dont know what to do. I live with people i once thought were my best friends and now i feel like i am just nothing. i try so hard to keep my thoughts away from suicide but how do you get over this when the poeple who are supposed to be there for you arent?

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Have you tried calling a free suicide-prevention hotline, such as 1-800-SUICIDE? They have volunteers who can talk you through what you're feeling and help you find sources of help in your community. I was feeling much like you were once. I called the hotline and they helped me.

 

I hope things work out for you. Whatever you do, keep fighting those impulses -- do not give in! Don't let the reaper win! And those "friends" who though you were just begging for attention? They do not have a clue what you're going through right now.

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i have tried therapy numerous times but decided to give it another whirl. My first appointment is tomorrow so hopefully that will help a little. I just cant get over the fact that my friends arent here for me. Whenever we do talk about it, which is never very often, i can totally tell they dont get it. And after they say something like, you just need to think positive, i look at them and tell them they don't get it but they tell me that they do. i have nobody to relate with, and nobodyt hat understands. The one person who does isnt here.

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Something that might help is to remember that you should never try to prevent your mind from thinking about something. I found that during the early stages of my last breakup, I kept thinking that I needed to occupy my mind with other things in order to "flush the pipes", sort-of-speak. Indeed this is true, however, my misunderstanding of it at the time was that I lacked the ability required to get from point 'A' to point 'B'.

 

Instead of simply picking up a basketball and telling yourself that a few hoops will do the trick, why not sit down and systematically approach your issues? Have you ever done this? If you feel you would do better, go ahead and even go as far as getting a piece of paper out with a pencil and writing a few lists about the root causes of your sadness or depression. What are the things that cause you to feel the way you do? What things are you doing that are meant to fix these issues? Etc...

 

Once you do this, you should have some more insight into what is ailing you. Take this new knowledge and formulate some self-treatments. This is known as self-help and every true adult out there in the real world will eventually be forced to learn this.

 

If that lacks impact (and you will know if it helps within a year), then it may be time to seek professional help. I say this with as much sensitivity as possible because I always had this feeling or self-destructing conception that if you need help, you must be crazy. Well, far from the truth this was... People who decide that they require psychological assistance wind up being giants among men in later years of their life because they discover things about themselves that many people without this assistance do not. What this does is enable the subject to profound awareness of his or her self which then transcends into emotional or psychological enlightenment. This paves the way for not only better relationships, but also, better employment, better parental understanding, etc... The list only gets bigger.

 

I used to think about killing myself so often that it led to me hating myself. Like me, you, too, will learn that not only is this a normal phase of life you currently endure, but also, you will keep fighting because your impulse decisions will eventually be understood better and you will learn to translate your current emotional overload.

 

It really stinks having to go through things like this. I truly empathize for you because in some ways, I think I'm still experiencing mild levels of this in my life. Just hang in there. You're a great person and deep down, you probably already know this... You're just caught in a spiral at the moment and need some time to get it all worked out.

 

Keep fighting.

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I just cant get over the fact that my friends aren't here for me.

 

Sorry, but I saw this and thought I would throw a few more cents into the pile before I give sleep another try...

 

When you have friends who lack the capacity to understand your problems, try to think of it as a complement. Not many people in our society, anymore, understand the true importance of soul-searching. I have a 43 year-old friend whom I sometimes wonder about in this regard because he often times makes mistakes that a 19 year-old would who is just embarking on the journey of life.

 

Try to remember that the actuality of your situation, in essense, is more so that you lack simple happiness with yourself and your situation(s). I'm not trying to make it sound simple because I can only imagine the pain and frustration you must feel, but in a way, thinking about it like this, it does provide for a much simpler approach to problems you emotionally recognize as being insurmountable at the moment. For example, I'm willing to bet anything that your friends tend to shy away from you when you begin discussing deep issues, right? By deep issues, I mean things pertaining to your sadness or depression, etc. These issues are beyond their abilities to help you with which is why they try to stay clear from you--they have absolutely no idea what to do. It's that simple. It has nothing to do with them not wanting to help you.

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i try so hard to keep my thoughts away from suicide but how do you get over this when the poeple who are supposed to be there for you arent?

 

Even if you feel the people you should aren't there for you, there are still plenty of people who are. Look where you came? we're all here for you.

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I have a pattern of falling into depression. it happens all the time, i get over it and a few months later i am down in the dumps again. When i am depressed, thoughts of suicide always enter my mind. out of the friends i have told, i am not feeling any support. the feedback i get is that i am just going through something and i need to get over it, or i want attention. Those people once told me that they would be there for me whenever i needed them and now they are walking away.

 

This pretty much is a quick synopsis of what it is like for me.

 

I keep it in. I know its not good to keep it in, especially for my health but its what I have to do. I go through so much and put up with so much and all I can do is keep it in. I would really love to talk to someone about it and get it out of my sysytem but I can't. I come here to ENA for quite a bit of the things, there are certain things I won't post cause I don't feel right posting it. I get laughed at and the routine "ohh please" bit.

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You do what you're doing now, your support yourself, understand yourself and reach out to someone (enotalone) when you feel things are getting you down. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're handling your depression best you can, be proud that you are so strong.

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