Curious if waiting to move in with my bf is the right thing to do?

[RoxyGril]

My bf and I have been dating for a little over a 1 1/2 years now. We aren't living together at the moment. We have had conversations before about living together especially just recently. It was brought up due to a room mate that is renting out the spare bedroom. I have told him about how I felt about this room mate wishing that it was me instead.

 

But, our reason for not moving in together is because we don't want rush into things like this so quickly. Knowing if we rushed into it there's the possibility of hurting our relationship. Which, why we don't want to rush into anything and do it the right way.

 

We are both commited to each other and trust each other a lot. I do stay the night on the weekends with him though. Anyways, in my past threads I have mentioned to where my mom has tired to force my bf and I to live together. Which is not the best idea for someone to force two people to live together when they have talked about and feel comfortable about not living together yet. We have talked about me living on my own for at least 6 months to a year on my own. By doing this first I will get to experience being on my own and independace being on my own. I was living with my mom and stepdad until up to a month ago.

 

The both of us want to live together really badly but knowing that the best thing to do is to wait a bit longer.

 

Is it normal to wait first to move in with my bf? Is it best to wait until we are both ready to move in together? How long did anyone else wait before moving in with either their bf/gf?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

There is no need to rush moving in together. Better to wait until you both feel ready otherwise it could be a complete disaster...you will start to resent each other. So don't feel pressured into moving in together..not all unmarried couples move in together.

[kiki30]

I think you are right to wait. Plenty of people have. I think you need to know what it's like to live on your own. Don't feel pressured by your family, you have the right idea.

[RoxyGril]

I thought that I did about and as well as my bf. It's just hard to make my family understand our decision. I have explained to them about us waiting and not rushing into it so quickly. But, they seem to keep trying to push it quite a bit. But, so far they haven't go what they wanted yet.

 

I know that they aren't going to get what they want because they think if I were to live with him that I won't like it and would want to come back home. Which that isn't true at all because I won't want to come back home and if it was the right time to move in together then I would enjoy it. But, if we do decide to move in together it will be for the right reasons.

 

I just wanted to get other peoples thoughts on this situation and see if waiting was a good idea which seems to be!

[Mythical_Suicide]

It's a smart decision on your part to wait until you both are ready. Because like you said yourself, if you rush it it could just cause unnecessary problems in your relationship.

I'm engaged and I don't plan on moving in with my fiance until a month or less before the wedding. Just give yourself time.

[_Asti_]

I think, personally, two people should move in together when the relationship is ready, and the two people involved are ready for that next bit, both as individuals and as a couple.

 

It's clear there's doubts here. Moving in shouldn't be done for convenience. If you're doing it for others, huge mistake. Do it because your relationship is ready, and you as a person are ready for this.

 

If you want to experience living on your own, get out and do it.

 

The damage that may be caused by doing this premature may not be reversible, waiting, investing more time into building your relationship, building and growing as a person, will just add that much more success to things.

[annie24]

i think it's a good idea to take things slow. especially because you are young. i think moving in together for a spare room is the wrong reason, know what i mean? you should move in when you two are totally committed. plus, i think that this way - you can continue enjoying dating - you can always move in together when you feel 150% ready! strange your mom is trying to push you into it.

[ladybella]

good things come to those who wait. you and your bf will be happier and have a stronger relationship if yall get to expirence life outside of the parent trap.all you have is time .time to be yourself time to be with him, be patient and know what your doing is the right thing for you relationship in the end .good luck!

[allypally]

I have always been a follower of the "not living together before marriage" camp.

 

I would want to know someone very well first and know that the relationship is strong and stable before taking that step of moving in together. After all, you are paying bills, buying food, cleaning and cooking together as a married couple would. It helps if any major problems are ironed out before living together as they are only amplified when you are thrown together and have joint responsibility of running a home.

 

Over time I think that you can get to know what someone is like pretty well even when you don't live together. You can tell whether they are considerate, thoughtful, lazy, don't like to cook, messy, stingy etc etc.