New to the forums! ...have a couple questions.

[Pookiestud]

Hey everyone.

 

I am brand new to the forums. So here's the short version. I was with my girlfriend for 2 and a half years. I am now 26 and she is now 21. Everything was going well. We lived together for most of that time. She hinted towards marriage on a few occasions. Then about a month after a really solid marriage hint was dropped....she breaks up with me. I chalk it up to being an indecisive 21 year old. Is that an ok assumption? She is now in the power trip phase where she claims that it was my fault and that we would be happier with other people. Why after hinting towards marriage would you tell someone that they would be better off with someone else? BTW, she left an engagment ring brochure under my pillow for those who were wondering that the solid hint was. You can't get much more solid than that. Haha.

 

So now I am in the "blaming myself" stage....and all I can think about is her being out there with other guys. I can't get it out of my head.

 

Help! Feel free to IM me anytime everyone!

[Grace]

I'm on the cusp of the blaming myself phase and definitely transitioning into anger, as I was told to move on already today after only 3 weeks le sigh...

 

Alas, I don't have answers people are inexplicable, commitment can be daunting for some I guess, the thought of marriage might have been nice and shiny in a catalogue, but intimidating when the reality hit her. I'm 22 and really couldn't fathom marriage any time soon, although I suppose I would at least entertain the idea in the right relationship.

 

Once one has survived the breakup, thats the brunt of it I hope, its all gotta get better from here in theory, god I hope so hehe

[Shadows Light]

It could also be a "Power Ploy".... she wants marriage, is hinting strongly and campaigning. She breaks up with you.. figuring you'll suffer without her, miss her, think hard on the marriage thing... and go out and buy her a huge diamond ring... and propose to her in some romantic way before Xmas.

 

BTW... WELCOME TO ENOTALONE

[Zeitgeist]

Another possibility is that she was becoming less and less sure about marriage near the end, and thought that maybe by getting you to propose, she might feel more certain again. In reality, if you had asked her, she probably still would have left after realizing a proposal doesn't change the way you feel. So don't blame yourself. She was most likely having doubts even before the marriage hint.

[RougeKali823]

um... if you're not ready for marriage, then let her go on her merry (no pun intended way). She is trying to force you to make a very serious decision and it makes me wonder what else she'd leave hints about. I don't think you need to blame yourself. She made her choice, now show her that you respect it and leave her to her own hints and issues.

[redhearts]

I think she wanted to date others, see what else was out there etc. because it was hitting to hard the reality of marriage. The answer to your question, she said your better off with someone else because she wants to try to be with someone else.

[Strung_Out00]

I am 26 and was dating a girl who had just turned 22. She left me to pursue other options. She was in serious relationship after serious relationship and just wanted to date around and have fun. Well, she ended up with another boyfriend in the matter of a few weeks, but that is beside the point...

 

Very rarely does someone that young know what they want. They are usually out on their own for the first time, able to go to bars and clubs legally and meet tons of new people, guys and girls. They still aren't sure where they want life to take them and what they are looking for in a partner. I chalk a lot up of what I went through to age and greed. I think maybe she is getting second thoughts about marriage at such a young age and wants to explore her options and find herself.

 

Unless you are total jerkoff or a cheat, I wouldn't be blaming yourself. There's a huge difference between 21 and 26. Trust me on this one, I just went through it.