How can I make him realize... that he's married?

[adidas7fire]

I have a close friend that I have known for about 16 years now. Last year she got married and now has a baby but during that time I have gotten to know her husband, just mutually because he was her husband. Since they are both really young, they have had more arguments within this first year of marriage.

 

Just last week, her husband started chatting with me online and was telling me how much she had changed and things weren't the same as they used to be (before they got married) and how he felt like he was being taken for granted, feeling like he didn't matter anymore. I tried telling him to take these issues and discuss them with her but since I know how she is, she doesn't take controversary very well. So he has confided in me about all this. On top of all this, he is afraid of losing his son if anything should happen between the two.

 

My concern is (1) is it alright that he is telling me all this stuff in hopes that I can help with the situation? (2) He admitted to having feelings for me but I told him various times that that was not acceptable considering that fact that he is married... so what would you say to my friend's husband in this situation?

 

If you have any advice, please let me know. I care for both of my friends and don't want anything to happen to their marriage but at the same time I want both to be happy with their marriage. What to do?

[avman]

Well everything was ok right up until that part where you said "He said he has feelings for me". That should be a big warning. Now he's vulnerable, AND he has feelings for you. And this may compromise his judgement.

 

I suggest that you ease out of this situation and limit any alone time you spend together. This includes chatting online. The temptation is just going to be too great and it could lead down the road to disaster. Help them both together if you must - but do NOT sidle up to her husband. Thats got trouble written all over it.

 

How about finding them a good marriage counselor they could see together?

 

avman

[adidas7fire]

Thank you for responding. Yes, I know that this is a bad situation and that's why I was looking for advice. But I will suggest a counselor and see how that goes.