What's wrong with me?

[Beaker5]

Hey Everyone,

Well, it's been 1 week today since he broke up with me. We haven't spoken since. He's been doing No Contact as well. I've been trying to make myself happy by watching comedy movies, concentrating on getting my applications out for graduate school, buying an xbox soon, thinking about buying a laptop, and just trying to finish this semester. I pretty much have the support of my mom, and two friends that don't live on campus and visit occasionally, so I'm pretty much alone. He, on the other hand has all of his roommates (which were my friends) and our other friends that live right next door to him. So he's surrounded. I just wish I had people around me that I could speak with. But I guess that's what you guys are for.

 

I watched Juno yesterday and I really started to miss him. But anyway, I've been asking myself a question. Why is it that none of my relationships have worked? Imean, I've had pretty much 3 relationships. The first one is not worth mentioning because the guy was a total ahole (That was when I was 15 and it lasted until I was 16). The second one I posted about on here was from when I was 18 to 21 (he's the one that cheated on me and lied, etc..) and the one that just ended was just 10 months. This last one was with a very sweet. passive guy that I was very controlling with. I regret doing that so much but you can't change the past. But I am learning from the breakup and I have learned that I can't be that way, and I've been focusing on changing.

 

So back to my question. I see so many of my friends that have these long relationships and some of them are even proposing to their high school sweethearts, and I'm here and just can't seem to make it work with anyone. Imean, I know people are supposed to date many people but I just want to find one person and make it work. I'm tired of these trials. Could the reason be because I have so many plans for my future and they just figure that they wouldn't fit in my plans? What am I doing wrong?

Please help?

 

P.S. The song from Juno that's stuck in my head is "Anyone Else But You" by the Moldy Peaches. Specifically the words that keep repeating in my mind are "You're a part time lover and a full time friend, the monkey on your back is the latest trend, I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else....but you".

[cruzer]

Well i just have to say one thing and that is, if everyone had 3 relationships and then found the love of their lives then dating would not be hard. Only one of ur relationships was even your fault and u realize what u done wrong and hopefully wont do it again. So there is nothing wrong with you.

[shoxpt]

you know why each relationship ended. they seem to have ended for different reasons. You know what you did wrong in the last one, so you can learn from that.

 

you are very young, i would't be concerned at this point. learn from your mistakes and be honest with yourself about your faults. always have an attitude of "i know i'm not perfect, but i'm trying to fix that" and dont accept anything less in a partner.

[Beaker5]

I do realize what happened with these relationships. I used to be the type of person that would let people walk all over me, which is why the two guys before this last one were terrible towards me, and I took it. During this last relationship, I guess I was afraid of being treated badly so I was more aggressive...not to an extreme though. We also didn't agree on anything. I just need to find a balance between the two. I just wish that I would have found a balance before I was in a relationship with my past ex. I miss him

[Beaker5]

Please help!! I just said hi to a roommate of his which is also his friend and this roommate told me that "X was just in his room speaking with him". That made me feel horrible all over again when I started to feel good. Please. I need help.

[shoxpt]

i'm sorry you're hurting. the first few weeks are very hard, if you feel lonely invite friends to your place so you dont have to see him.