Normal not to feel any regret to ex's

[brendithebunny]

I'm currently happy in my 4 month relationship but I admit I been a player for too long. Needless to say I feel nothing whatsoever with what I did to all my ex's, meaning cheat.

 

I went somewhere else and I had these people telling me how I should have shown remorse. Why?? If the feeling isn't there then it just isn't, why forcing something I don't feel.

[tylercdurden2004]

I guess where you might feel remorse is not letting those interested in being with you know that you are not interested.

[starlight40]

I dont believe in regretting anything cos in any bad situation you usually learn something but to not feel any badness in yourself for causing such hurt to people is a tad strange i think.

[norstarv]

you don't have to wait time to feel regretted =)

[itsallgrand]

Well genuine remorse for hurting another usually only comes when we care, IMO.

 

It's possible you feel no remorse because you didn't, and still don't, care about those people's feelings or for them as people.

 

So while I wouldn't say it is normal to have no regard for who you hurt or not, I can understand it being honest when you say you have no remorse.

 

Now that you are in a relationship that you are happy in though, and possibly you DO care - it wouldn't surprise me if at some point or another of this relationship, you might begin to feel a bit badly about your past behavior.

 

When it comes around to bite you and you feel the sting of being hurt or lied to by someone that matters to you, that may give you pause for reflection.

 

Interesting that you posted this at all. Do you want to cause a stir, or are you looking for understanding of other's point of view about it. ?

[real_life_101]

You sound like your one of those it's all about me girls. You will figure it out one of these days, but I would not plan on that anytime soon.

[EQD]

lack of empathy is a sign of narcissism and sociopathy. do you feel bad about anything? Like the time you ran over that little kids dog? or the time you used whoever for sex? if the answer is no then be worried.

empathy and sympathy are what humans feel. not saying you dont have a limited group of people you CAN feel these things towards/for. But you should investigate further.

Usually people feel bad when they do bad things, unless the person they are doing these things to is someone they hate.

 

do you have empathy?

[brendithebunny]

Interesting that you posted this at all. Do you want to cause a stir, or are you looking for understanding of other's point of view about it. ?

 

Interesting how I did not get flame for this, not that I would really care but people who post like me would usually get sarcastic comments. I was only stating my point of view because I would see those that would write their ''sorry stories'' so I didn't to write my ''never sorry I did it'' story and see your varying point of views.

[brendithebunny]

lack of empathy is a sign of narcissism and sociopathy. do you feel bad about anything? Like the time you ran over that little kids dog? or the time you used whoever for sex? if the answer is no then be worried.

empathy and sympathy are what humans feel. not saying you dont have a limited group of people you CAN feel these things towards/for. But you should investigate further.

Usually people feel bad when they do bad things, unless the person they are doing these things to is someone they hate.

 

do you have empathy?

 

Strange thing is one time I did a research and I may be presenting some signs of sociopathy. You asked if I ever felt bad about something and I can't seem to find hardly anything that made me feel guilty and no I don't hate anyone, just never felt terrible when I would cheat on all my ex's. When I did it was the same as watching boring soap operas, they were there and then gone. It's kind of like new people I see everyday when start jogging, they come and go easily.

 

You mentioned about running over a dog well I admit there was one time I was a common 9 year-old mending her own business and there was this very annoying dog that would bark on a daily basis and I got fed up with it. This might sound extreme but I gave it poison on the meat. Now I wouldn't do it as I'm too old for that and everyone would notice it.

 

I think I might have empathy as I would never hurt my own family and something is now stopping me from cheating on my b/f.

[brendithebunny]

Then there must be something wrong with me. Something I always had from the time I was a 4 year-old kid (yes that's when it all started to change) till now.

[brendithebunny]

Ever tried talking to a shrink in full honesty about yourself so you can get help figuring it out?

Some people are just born/raised that way.

 

I distrust strangers as they will take advantage of you. They want to play chess with you so you can easily give in. Yes there was this one time I would pick up fights at school and my parents took my to a psychologist back when I was 12 and as a result they had me under close supervision until I graduated. I'm learning to accept my flaw and I guess it's about getting used to it and not cheating on b/f.

[unabashed]

A lack of feelings for others and a generalized feeling of anger can also be signs of depression. Depression is very introverting--thus the person has difficulty experiencing empathy for others.

 

This is the second thread you've started, seeking justification for what I believe you know is wrong. You'll get some mixed opinions here, but you will only get real help from a professional. Just because the counselor in school wasn't helpful (and maybe he/she really was), doesn't mean you can't find someone who is professional and non-judgmental to talk to.

[brendithebunny]

I was thinking about it and yes it is my second thread though but quite the same. In the other way I mention about how different is hurting your family v.s. your SO while on this I'm stating that I aware that this might not be normal, thus why would I even questioned myself. I assume that if there was no doubt I had then I would have never made this thread in the first place. How much does it cost? Is it expensive?

[purpleduckie]

You mention it's different hurting your family members... how? how is it different? do you love them?

 

 

I hooked up with a guy who had a gf at the time who was completely in love with him. I *said* I felt badly for it so people would ease up on judging me, and from time to time - I do feel bad... but to be honest, I never felt really SORRY for hurting HER. i'm not a sociopath or anything...

[brendithebunny]

Are you talking about therapy/shrink? If you have health coverage most plans will cover the cost up to a certain point. If not I think it's somewhere around $75 and up for an hour session. Also depends on who you chose, PhD v certified professional, etc.

 

Yes I do got health coverage so I guess it won't cost anything then. I haven't shared this with my b/f as for sure he might think I'm crazy.

 

You mention it's different hurting your family members... how? how is it different? do you love them?

 

Yes I did mention on this thread ]

 

I hooked up with a guy who had a gf at the time who was completely in love with him. I *said* I felt badly for it so people would ease up on judging me, and from time to time - I do feel bad... but to be honest, I never felt really SORRY for hurting HER. i'm not a sociopath or anything...

 

I understand this as it seems that people are always focus into only hearing the ''I'm so sorry'' stories rather than the ''I don't care'' ones. They always want to force you to feel what is not there. With you, it's stated that from time to time you feel bad, this hasn't happened to me.

[EQD]

if it turns out you are a sociopath you should know that there is no treatment or cure for it. counseling only makes it worse.

at least if you are a narcissist it is somewhat redeeming. tough draw here.

[brendithebunny]

if it turns out you are a sociopath you should know that there is no treatment or cure for it. counseling only makes it worse.

at least if you are a narcissist it is somewhat redeeming. tough draw here.

 

Then if there's no cure this means that I will get used to it and deal with it.