How do you react (or respond) when someone stops loving you?

[waveseer]

OUCH! ive never heard this luckily and i sure hope i dont. My heard goes out to all of you that have!

 

personally if i did hear it of course i would be devastated. I would ask if there was anything that can be done to bring it back. If her response was no, i would accept that the relationship is done.

 

This is an excellent plan and one I intend to use should it ever happen to me again, thank you.

[drewciouS281]

Anytime man!!

[Budgie]

Its really weird. I don't think I could say the moment when my ex stopped loving me, but I started to sense something had changed in her for a while before she broke up with me.

 

If I could just stop loving her, switch the feeling off, then I would feel better (!!)

[hereagain]

Reading everyone's stories, it sounds so familiar.... he stops holding your hand, the text messages become routine, the pet names stop, they stop talking to you on an emotional level but tell you everything is okay, that they are just dealing with their own problems, that there is nothing wrong, and then they stop returning your phone calls. It is the most gut wrenching of experiences, to have someone that persued you, promised you the world stop feeling those feelings for you. It is awful.

[SpeedingCars]

How about when you overhear them saying that basically they never loved you, you don't matter at all anymore, the girls they cheated on you with were "better in bed" and they don't care if they never talk to you again?

 

Lies or not, the fact is that he said that & it crushed my soul to hear it.

 

I was speechless and pretty much felt like collapsing.... now I just get angry about it and I try to think of the better; I'm ridding myself of such a heartless "man". I'm not losing anything at all with him out of my life... it hurts like hell, especially when you thought they had your back & would never EVER cheat or lie. But in the end, it makes you so much stronger... you learn some of life's hardest lessons from the people you love, but you grow with each heartbreak.

[Lugh]

i dont think there was a moment for me, she changed jobs and moved a couple of hours away, that was all part of our plan though, i think it gave her a lot of time to think and thats where it started.

 

we made love in the morning, she told me she loved me , that night she told me she wanted to break up.

 

Personally i think she still loved me at that time but was scared of the next step --moving in , marraige etc and wanted the space to see if she could get by without me--strung me alond for six months and then dived into a helter skelter relationship.

 

How did i react?? spent that six months trying to win her back, then trying to be friends then 3 mnths NC , then 6 mths trying to be friends and finally NC now for nearly 4mths.

 

during that time i went from hero to something she found on her shoe, without ever hurting her, that is the hardest part for me.

 

Now i concentrate on myself, it would be very easy to get bitter but i have fond memories of the 5 1/2 years i spent with her and i suppose i still love THAT woman, not too keen on the current model .

 

I think the best way to react , and it took me along time to work this out , is to live your own life as best you can, i loved her as best i could , i tried to win her back as best i could , i tried to be friends as best i could.

 

Now im trying to make me happy as best i can.

[MCR7]

How about when you overhear them saying that basically they never loved you, you don't matter at all anymore, the girls they cheated on you with were "better in bed" and they don't care if they never talk to you again?

 

Lies or not, the fact is that he said that & it crushed my soul to hear it.

 

I was speechless and pretty much felt like collapsing.... now I just get angry about it and I try to think of the better; I'm ridding myself of such a heartless "man". I'm not losing anything at all with him out of my life... it hurts like hell, especially when you thought they had your back & would never EVER cheat or lie. But in the end, it makes you so much stronger... you learn some of life's hardest lessons from the people you love, but you grow with each heartbreak.

 

Oh honey. I am so glad you entered the word MAN in quote marks. Because he is not a man. Maybe he will be some day but it sounds like he has a helluva long way to go. Good for YOU! You will be better, just like you say...and know in your heart. Big hug...

[SpeedingCars]

Oh honey. I am so glad you entered the word MAN in quote marks. Because he is not a man. Maybe he will be some day but it sounds like he has a helluva long way to go. Good for YOU! You will be better, just like you say...and know in your heart. Big hug...

 

Thank you, so much.

It took 3 years for me to see that he wasn't who I thought he was. All the warning signs were there, but silly me... guess I just wanted to tell myself my first REAL relationship wasn't a lie. But it was. I feel dumb.

 

Time heals everything. I hope to look back on this and LAUGH at how much of an idiot he is!... right now, it just makes me angry thinking that he doesn't care & that he came out of this unscathed while I'm here with a million questions and no answers.